If I had occasionally wondered why he seemed to hang out with people who were either quite a bit older than he (Grimmy, James Corden, Ben Winston, the Gerbers) or who struck me as being sort of shallow (Kendall, mostly), and if I wondered why he showed up at Google Camp driving a Maserati last summer, just after the tour, I ignored my slight misgivings. Harry really had to disappear from view, and take his charm with him, for me to become gradually more critical about what I was seeing. I noticed that he seemed less and less interested in interacting with fans, that we saw his trademark grin less and less often, that he disappeared from virtually all public appearances. He didn’t post at all on social media. He turned up at the Gerbers’ Halloween party wearing that great Elton John costume, but then I noticed that his “happy face” looked the same in every picture, just like his neutral face with peace sign or thumbs up looked the same in almost every fan pic, and I wondered about that too. Were we ever seeing an authentic Harry, or was it all a pose for the cameras when in public? And then he seemed to be everywhere at once, LA, London, Italy,Japan, off to Canada with the Gerbers, back in LA--why was he always someplace different? I didn’t judge it, but I wondered. Finally the misgivings added up enough that I questioned whether he was the person I thought I stanned but was instead someone else entirely. In the meantime, he did the Met Gala, which briefly restored me to stanning just with the volume of photos and the Met outfit, with its sheer back and the vulnerability of its broad muscularity, which could have looked ridiculous but instead just made him seem delicate in a way the pearl earring didn’t do, and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which seemed really cool that he inducted Stevie Nicks, but again, I really hated everything he was wearing, al that ill-fitting Gucci, and I didn’t understand why he kept trying to grow a mustache when it just looked like he needed to shave, but I scolded myself for being shallow. And then came the perfume campaign, which was frankly silly. And then Google Camp again, and the two big interviews, and here we are, waiting for HS2 with no idea of when it’ll be released; meanwhile, Niall is pretty adorable on social media and seems dedicated to getting more girls to play golf--yeah, it’s an expensive sport, so it’s problematic anyway, but it’s hard to be mad at inclusion--and Louis was starting to release new music and Liam was posing naked, so there was content, just not Harry content. Most of this is superficial stuff, but it turned out my love was pretty superficial too. It was based on surface charm and good looks and a killer grin, and a persona that I constructed, not on substance. 

When it came to that, the other boys started looking more interesting. Even Liam did a couple of revealing interviews that helped me see how hard being in One Direction had been on all of them, not just Zayn. Zayn’s absence seemed less arrogance and more recovery. Louis suffered a second loss while I was losing interest in Harry, and then I started really noticing his personality and kindness, how true he’s stayed to his Northern roots. Zayn’s music has worn really well for me. I can still play Mind of Mine with almost the same enjoyment as when I first heard it, same for Icarus Falls. Along with feeling a new level of sympathy for and enjoyment of Louis, I had this increased appreciation of Zayn’s musicality, and I felt bad for him that IF didn’t go anywhere, that my students didn’t even know Zayn had had a second release in spite of being 1D stans when they were just babies themselves.

Harry Styles the album has not held up so well--the songs about women have cringy lyrics, the ballads are less profound once you’ve heard him talk, or rather not talk, about them. I started wishing that if he wasn’t going to say anything he would just not talk. I began to see the record as derivative, and while it was surprising at the time I first heard it that this boy bander had turned so hard into classic rock, I wondered what he was bringing to the table that was innovative. I don’t love Niall’s music, but I like it, and I really liked his duet with Julia Michaels (I realize I am pretty much alone in that). Then Louis went to Madrid and broke my heart with his new music and my dawning realization that he was a really good songwriter, and Liam was charming and sharper than he ever seemed in 1D interviews on that Liam Payne answers the internet (or whatever it was called, I am not a Liam stan and never will be, I don’t think). In sum, I still like all these men, both for the boys they were and the men they have or might become. It’s just that I thought Harry was special and better, and now I don’t think so. Now I like Zayn most, then Louis, then Niall, and then I don’t know.

Much has been said about Harry’s career moves under his current team on blogs with greater knowledge of the music industry than I have, which wouldn’t be hard, but one thing we all seem to agree on is that Harry’s career strategy is confusing at best. He can still look great--there are shots from both of the big interviews that are gorgeous, especially The Face. But when was the last time he did something that seemed charming and funny and delightful that wasn’t just a journalist’s or aging rock star’s report? He does these big spreads, and yet here we are weeks later, almost to October, and no new music. 

There have been several times in the past year when it seemed like he had momentum for new releases--the R&R Hall of Fame, the Met Gala, the magazine ‘interviews’--but whatever strategy he and his team are utilizing, it doesn’t seem to be capitalizing on when he’s already in the press in a positive way. 

The whole Prince Eric thing was kind of a debacle, like why would you let it be known that you were being considered for that role, and generate all that #notmyprince pushback on Twitter, only to let it be known that you’d passed? It didn’t seem smart to make Disney, or whoever takes the role eventually, look bad. And then you admit, along with the fact that our clean living, green smoothie drinking, gym going, yoga loving sweetheart does ‘shrooms to feel creative, that you tried for and didn’t get the Elvis role? Like--are you trying to be an actor, or are you just putting your name out there for the hell of it? He’s not seen working. I’m not saying he isn’t working. He’s not seen working. Occasionally somebody reports or paps that he’s gone in or out of a studio, but the only sign we have that he still sings is a couple of duets with Stevie Nicks and a karaoke performance of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” 

I don’t have to understand Harry’s career strategy, and no, he doesn’t owe any of us social media activity, or the details of his private life, or new music. Plenty of people I like go years without new releases. But I know they’re working and living their lives and collaborating with other people, because from time to time something comes out, and I say, oh, that’s what Sufjan is up to, or ah, I can see Thom Yorke even if it’s not with Radiohead, or hey, Timmy Chalamet’s movie is finally coming out and doesn’t he look great at the Venice Film Festival? There are a few people I compare Harry to, and Timmy is one. Matty Healy is the other. They’re all fairly close in age, have been working in their chosen fields since they were kids, and all are known for attracting a cult-like following. Of the three, Timmy and Matty are working their tails off and doing strong work. Harry is seen leaving fancy exclusive clubs in LA and sending 3000 euro sea bass to Liam Gallagher; meanwhile when we hear something that is presumably from Harry’s own lips, it’s incoherent or tone deaf. He’s not as likable these days, and now I wonder if I’ll buy it (or the music) when he suddenly puts out HS2 and turns likable again.

Harry has a devoted following, but it’s hard to see how his lingering look into the past of rock music is going to give him longevity in an industry full of pretty young things with talent. He knows how to make powerful people like him, but does he still know how to make the average fan like him? He doesn’t have good streaming numbers, compared to Liam or Zayn, even if his Rolling Stone cover sold out, and his tour did well but it didn’t set records--#8 for 2018 is good, solid, but not overwhelming. It seems to me that he needs to be on the hustle, and instead he seems to be relying on his relationships with the Old Guard in music. Maybe it’ll work; maybe they know something we don’t. But if I were a betting woman, I would bet on someone else unless he changes his strategy. I do think all of those 1D boys suffered from such early fame and everything that came with it, including a punishing schedule for even young, healthy kids like they were. I’m glad for Louis’s and Niall’s sake that they seem to be in good places. I hope Liam finds a good place that doesn’t involve participating in more commodification of his body. I hope Zayn is happy living at the farm, which is where my head canon has placed him, tending animals and growing lavender.