#solis thoughts

(this post is a companion post to eli's lostsignal post :D shoutout eli)

the dramatic irony in stormz comparing quakitus to mugm today is like. insane to me how viscerally potent it is while being completely unintentional on stormz's end (bliss smp the most scripted unscripted server godbless never change). stormz intends the comparison entirely positively, it's meant to affirm that he acknowledges quakitus's feelings about torchblossom as Being Fair by using mugm (someone who he respects immensely) as a reference point—"the way you [quakitus] feel about TB is the same way mugm feels about TE. you're just like mugm."

but, of course, with quakitus's having secret of being Actually Evil or whatever he instead derives his own joy and amusement out of being compared to mugm, because in their extremely warped mindset mugm is the ultimate example of The Controller.

to quakitus, reputation is a tool to be used in service of Gaining More Control, and mugm's influence and reputation precedes all (something something black hole), therefore, he has Control over the entire server. like, hey, even the person controlled her during gilded—that being wyll—falls under mugm's control now (DISCLAIMER: this is completely untrue and more of q's awesome self-rationalization of her Controller/Controlled binary view on people, with her warped view on bonds and friendship he is unable to conceptualize people being Actual Equals in a dynamic)

so, by being compared to mugm, that signals to quakitus that they're doing something right. they're Winning. q even explicitly says that they want to be in mugm's position and functionally replace him come s4

however. there is another layer of irony to this. because quakitus is Dead Fucking Wrong about mugm (as per usual tbh). despite quakitus seeing him as a Controller who has Won due to q projecting his own views onto mugm's position, ironically, mugm is one of the people on the server with the least control over his situation. mugm doesn't view his reputation as a tool, it's closer to an obstacle, an inhibitor, a prison. his Main Struggle on the server is to create a legacy for himself that actually feels like himself, the weight of the sheer influence that mugm has on the server collapses in on itself and makes it so mugm has nearly no say in how he is ultimately seen by the masses.

I Do think quakitus is being completely truthful about intentionally manipulating people to gain friendships and have people rely solely on her because she can only conceptualize herself as being wanted if she is The Only Option Left, that mindset being basically the logical conclusion of the trust and abandonment issues caused by repeated betrayal trauma. HOWEVER: I think quakitus conflating this with them having "never cared about anyone [since gilded breakup]" during the speech to sans is a Coping Mechanism (post-q stream edit: or an intimidation tactic I guess? I still think my interpretation I wrote down yesterday is more interesting so I'm rolling with it unless I get bashed over the head for it later SORRY)

it's a coping mechanism to both emotionally distance himself from people, (being emotional, being sentimental, q believes those traits have no use in a world like bliss, or atleast have no use to Him. so she (tries to) cut off those traits) and to rationalize their actions within their own black/white mindset—you are either a Good Person or a Bad Person, and more importantly, you are either The Controller or The Controlled.

and to be Affected by the actions of others, in this case specifically the actions of silva, that is the direct opposite of what he wants. in their black/white mindset there is very little room if not none at all for any exceptions, so admitting that silva has Any sort of power over q's actions, no matter how small, would mean that she does not have the ultimate authority over silva that she would prefer to have. and q is extremely preoccupied with asserting himself as The Controller—'control' being the main thing that quakitus is seeking at the core of it all—which is why he says he doesn't care about ANYONE, including silva.

this is going to be a Liiitttle bit of a tangent but I see a lot of ppl hung up on this specific point so. I don't believe this is really False but I don't think this is fully True either (letting sans go at this point from a purely logical strategic standpoint is kinda. Bad? so it shows q does prioritize 'keeping' silva to some extent.) but to be clear, this is #MyPersonalTake on "Is Quakitus Lying About Not Caring?": I don't think it matters!!!!!!!!! :D

quakitus being "not genuine" for all this time doesn't really necessarily discount any bonds that she has on the server and I think it's a little bit reductive to say it does. like. um. ok I can't figure out a way to word this 'objectively' so personal anecdote: I consider myself to be someone with low empathy and doesn't really "naturally" care about people, so I have to consciously on purpose put in Effort to care about people. and I keep friendships because I Like Attention. that's just kinda how my brain works? and this is Basically the same way I view quakitus's character conceptualizing "care". what's the difference between lines of code and chemicals in a brain? where does the 'human' end, and where does the 'robot' begin in a cyborg? if a robot becomes indistinguishable from a human, does its origins still matter? (the 'isolating somebody until they have nobody but quakitus left' part is still fucked up tho that's like the actual. like. evil bad villain action LMFAO) (ok back to the control thesis)

asking why quakitus is evil "now" is lowkey discounting that This is not the first time he's done things along these lines (see: rylanets gembreak) it is very much a repeating pattern (also using the word evil is pretty reductive but I'm not gonna spend a whole paragraph dissecting that in this post LOL). but it's okay anon you've come to the right place welcome to the 'Quakitus Is A Bad* Person' Post Factory (*bad is also an overgeneralization)

lowkey in that same stream yesterday with quakitus doing all that bullshit, stormz kind of brings up the same exact reasoning why I believe to be partially, if not most of the reason quakitus is Like That (he just doesn't connect it to her specifically), with the whole "the more I experience on this server the more I understand mugm's mindset" thing. like it might be easy to forget sometimes but quakitus did also go through Quite A Lot Of Bullshit themself, with the multiple team betrayals and leavings and whatnot. it just makes sense, for characters who have endured so much mental anguish to, for lack of a better term, go kind of insane? I think quakitus's newer "everything is a game, nothing matters, I just want to have fun" mindset is also a kind of mental spiral in response to the repeated trauma he's undergone, just in the opposite direction to the people pleaser-y "I will become whoever other people want me to be so I can be accepted" fawning response that they had in the gilded-torchblossom era.

granted this reading might be a side effect of me being mtfl-brained LOL but I think that silva’s general unreliability in server activity (and their current hibernation) is causing quakitus to be like. more unhinged than she would be. obviously she’d be fucked up anyway but silva’s absence is exacerbating things ykwim. it’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened to quakitus either [glances sideways at friendship]. even if iris is still together and silva hasnt fully Betrayed, theyve still failed to Be There for quakitus Consistently—which is lowk kinda the worst thing to do to someone with Extreme Trust Issues lmao. and I think that The Absence Of Silvasaur bleeds into quakitus’s other dynamics on the server too. tldr silvasaur is lowkey haunting quakitus rn

(shaking my head while writing this part of the post so people know I also don’t like that this is my first post talking about some of these dynamics and I’m making it about meteorflower again. I really like quakitus’s other dynamics on their own too I just think this is an interesting topic that I actually have things of substance to say about)

specifically I think quakitus is subconsciously trying to mold other people into the spot that silva takes in her life. which is basically Her Controlled. just without the part of meteorflower that makes her upset. the part she cannot control: her own attachment to silva.

and imo this is most obvious in her dynamic with sans and lezy (you can argue similar for people like coin and rylan but my thoughts on them aren’t complete yet)

sans is like. the closest thing quakitus is going to get to Silvasaur 2 this season honestly (that sounds mean and reductive but sans’s parallels with silva are insane enough thats the only way I can think to describe him succinctly. Sorry Sans!). sans to quakitus is just a version of silvasaur with the thing she hates the most about silva removed from the equation—which is their history together and her Uncontrolled attachment to silva because of said history. and it’s fun! she has fun with him! but that’s all their dynamic really is and sans doesn’t really fulfill quakitus’s inner desire for stability. quakitus wants stability while also never wanting to make herself vulnerable by relying on someone. she can only be this honest with sans because he can’t meaningfully hurt her. this kind of fun is meant to be fleeting. meant to be temporary. meant to be discarded

I can only Really see two options on how this is going to end on silva's end? I mean silva says it themself in the convo with quakitus. hes the type to not forget, but atleast forgive. I also just deadass think silva is physically incapable of fully, Actually hating quakitus (tbh Most People for that matter. silva is genuinely The Most Empathetic character on bliss. to his, usually, direct detriment. but this applies Especially to q) so. I think one of these two options are most likely to happen:

despite it all, even when silva does truly learn to stand on her own as an individual, even with other connections, they would still Choose to team with, to be friends with quakitus (preferably with actual firm boundaries and clear communication this time). because. well. silva just... Likes quakitus. nothing's stronger than an iou except for pure, genuine adoration, after all ^_^

it'll be a kinda similar situation to rylan (very ironically lol), where silva separates from quakitus for both of their sakes because he's recognized the unhealthiness of their dynamic and thinks that it's unhealthy to the extent that he thinks there isn't a way to salvage it in their current states. but maybe one day in the future, if they've both grown enough while they were apart, they can be together again

I have. quite a lot of thoughts actually ^_^ I think silva's simultaneous reverence and rejection of 'prime silvasaur'—both an idealized version of themself and a compartmentalization of her own capability of violence—is really fascinating.

prime silvasaur is placed on a very literal pedestal, adorned in symbols of power. of status. it's difficult to not desire that power on some level, especially as someone with the label of 'pvper'. to participate in the constant pursue of power is what's expected from people like silva. but. silva isn't really like that. as an idealized self, prime silvasaur isn't particularly true to silva's own personal desires and morals, but instead the server's. prime silvasaur is silva, if they didn't lack that fundamental greed that separates them from basically every other major pvper on the server. if they conformed to what a pvper "should be".

but... there's a reason why prime silvasaur's pedestal is locked away, hidden in the depths of the aspect of hate, of all places. silva does not like it. does not like the idea of the relentless pursuit of power, does not like being seen as just a potential weapon of destruction. they hate that they're expected to be 'prime silvasaur', but he also, for a long time, hated that he wasn't. she's pretty steadfast in her own ideals now, but when you have these norms drilled into your head especially over such a long period of time, it's hard to not be ashamed of yourself when you fail to live up to them.

back then, he held onto this vague idea of heroism in order to feel like she had a place in the narrative, to feel like she belonged. a naive, but sincere belief that she was ultimately doing The Right Thing by fighting against "The Villains" (brotherhood), which allowed that purpose to persevere even when the people they originally meant to protect (team friendship) weren't really There anymore. in joining brotherhood later on, silva functionally gave up on that purpose (aside: it’s funny, that the moment he Gave Up on the idea that playing hero would get her anywhere, silva losing the DG mugm duel, took place on the island that team friendship was meant to move to. something about childish dreams that never came to fruition). but the transition to brotherhood went fine despite the loss of that purpose and direction because bhood had a rigid structure in of itself—that being how the team applies roles to its members alongside their pre-established ultimate finale end goal—to give that same sense of security.

it’s kind of funny that what usually would mark a now-forever-jaded type of character development for most other people, silva joins bhood and. gets More empathetic towards others than she was before. the real thing silva loses when she joins bhood is the ability to mark certain people off as Evil Supervillains That Must Be Killed because with their experience with bhood, that means they've been on and seen every side of the argument. so, when even the brotherhood's structure collapsed, silva was thrown into a situation where he deeply understood everyone else’s—nezo feeling used and taken for granted, mugm feeling unappreciated for the work he’s put in, puqi desperately wanting to hold a team together that’s actively slipping through her hands—it's no wonder silva just kind of. Shut Down. nothing was holding him together anymore, and growing past the childish hero/villain mindset he had before now only meant that all he could see now was clouds of grey.

but right before the formation of iris, silva chose to pick the role of protector back up in order to give herself a purpose, no longer wanting to wander aimlessly. but the thing is that this inherently necessitates a mindset separating the "to be protected" from the "to be protected against", something that's directly contradictory to the immense empathy that silva displays, because of what silva understands to be true—that everybody is just another person with their own struggles. and you can't exactly unlearn any of that (which is why we get the moments of impulsive kindness that silva consciously rationalizes herself Out of because they arent Supposed to be doing that, especially not on the bliss smp of all places), so instead, silva becomes willfully ignorant. the idea of morality is no longer relevant to this version of their protector complex. the only thing that matters, above all else, is that quakitus is safe. and so silva represses, brushes off, shuts down her own critical thoughts of whatever quakitus is Actually Doing on the server. because getting caught up in all of that distracts from The Direction. fulfilling Their Purpose.