#solemninquiry

Solacecomes in the form of self-destruction. Pressure crushing our ribs in order to makeroom for a beating heart. Flames kissing our lungs, consuming them slowly inbillows of smoke because breathing sulfur is better than not breathing at all.We place a gun to our temples in order to cleanse the thoughts of restless mindand smothering in gun powder the reasons against. We rot from the inside out becausewe were taught that the most beautiful flowers bloom within wastelands.

Solace isfound in the form of self-destruction because we have been fed bullshit in theform of a romanticism.

Tonight’slies in the fissure of Minseok’s lips, embers lighting up his features withevery drag he takes and fall with every single breath. The cigarette is thegun, the flames, the pressure for both but it is only solace for one. Codeine forone and a noose for the other. If that is the case, isn’t then the word nothingbut a faulty concept? Is that the reason why he wastes his time in futileattempts to rip the cigarette off the other’s hold until he is told off? Isthis why he keeps on trying over and over regardless of the fact he has lostcount?

“If I wereyou, I´d give up.” And through the suffocating mist, truthhad never been spoken as clearly when annoyance edges his voice.. Because one cannot change a person to theirown ideals in search for a peace of mind. Coax the devil into the form of asavior, wash the blood of their hands and their sins between prayers then burythe remnants beside the same church. No matter what, the essence remains thesame.The noosetightens and a silent I’m considering itdies at the back of his throat. Burying itself in a graveyard of the untold, waitingto rot in the crevices of his rib-cage and bloom into something ‘better’. 

-makes u some hot chocolate w/rum and snuggles u super hard omg-

solemninquiry replied to your post:xx

sexily puts up leg on table. slides up pants. im ready ;)

It’s quiet, she can sense something’s wrong around her. Fingers begin to shake along with her palms, they were clutching onto one another hopelessly. Withdrawing herself from creating any further noises or ask if anyone was around her. Light steps along the heavy coated ground, footprints planted faintly along the area leaving evidence that were swiped away when she places that foot down to shift it from left to right. The trail she left disappeared and there she was, peeking over at the tiny opening from the door created on the back of some unknown building. Droplets of crimson, the aura around her was thickening up and she can sense a familiar feeling of pure excitement in reckless behavior in one’s actions.

The door doesn’t open any further with her own palm, nor does the owner of the silhouette of their frame make any effort in moving closer to it. Naeun’s heart begins to race, throat becoming dry and she takes a step further. She shouldn’t be here right now, she knows that. Despite her doing that type of damage onto someone’s own life herself with her own bare hands, this is completely different. She didn’t do it, it wasn’t on command directly but she can end up being that same person. Probably screaming and pleading for help during the way only to be left on the solid ground to soil and await for someone to pick her deceased body up. No tomorrow by then.

It takes a second for her feet to accidentally slide through the particles of dirt, the sound was barely audible. It’s nothing compared to her tripping over an item or her own step then falling, a small yelp emitting out during the process. Nothing close to that her tiny action itself was enough for that stranger to hear. And Naeun catches on, she does not display fear in the way her body shakes and begins to panic by running away with rushed and hurried movements. Slow and steady, trying to slip her way out of the area by transferring to one alleyway to the other. Fingers coiled around the handle in order to push it down with light force to open the door. Eyes meeting to a staircase, barely glancing back or over the shoulder to see who it was exactly or whether they’re closer behind.

ø : My muse needs yours to sleep.

[ ✉ 01:18☾ ] Is it this new pain medicine that’s keeping me up?[ ✉ 01:25☾ ] I checked to see if I didn’t take enough, but I got the dosage right.[ ✉ 01:26☾ ] I didn’t think med students slept.[ ✉ 02:00☾ ] Cold shower didn’t help either. There’s nothing left.[ ✉ 02:00☾ ] I wish you were hear to do that thing before you put the IV needle in my vein. I know I say that I hate when people manhandle me, but your palms are usually warm and I forget what that feels like. Hand massages. I wish everyone gave them out.[ ✉ 02:03☾ ] Sleep won’t come to me because I’m too scared for tomorrow. This life of dragging myself around is too difficult, Xiumin. I’m starting to get envious of the lady in ICU bed 005. Any day now, they will pull the plug and she’ll just drift off in her sleep. Or what about room 430-B? Last stage of cancer. They just give her medicine for the pain and let her be. No tests or prodding or fearful sideways glances from that Choi bitch in the front row. She can’t even believe I’m still alive, always tearing up like I’m going to drop dead in the middle of a lecture or lose another[ ✉ 02:03☾ ] limb. And maybe I will. Maybe I’ll give up my arm next, or my eyes. Then I won’t have to see pity on every face that glances away from me at the last second.[ ✉ 02:09☾ ] Where is the nearest ocean? I want to go. Take me swimming, please. Let’s just go there.[ ✉ 02:10☾ ] Floating in cold water alone.[ ☏ incoming call: 오샬롯 ][ ☏ ongoing call: 00:00:10 ][ ☏ ongoing call: 00:53:48 ][ ☏ ongoing call: 03:18:05 ][ ☏ call ended: 09:22:00 ][ ✉ 11:32☼ ] I’m sorry about last night. Thank you for picking up the phone. I think just hearing someone breathing on the other side was enough to help me sleep. Sorry, again, and see you for my next appointment on Thursday.