#soft arguments

the first day passed without much news, then the second, then the third, and with every report that arrived, the atmosphere inside headquarters only became heavier.

what had started as a simple event into the doll festival had turned into something much bigger than anyone expected. more injured cleaners began or disappeared returning one after another, each looking worse than the last, speaking about strange watchman series objects, battles breaking out across the festival grounds, and enemies far stronger than they had prepared for.

every time someone walked through those doors, your heart jumped into your throat, silently praying it wouldn't be enjin lying unconscious on a stretcher.

then someone mentioned he had used time walk. another cleaner quietly admitted he had pushed himself so far that nobody knew if he was going to survive. after hearing those words, it became impossible to focus.

your hands kept moving out of habit, carrying materials, changing bandages, helping wherever you could, but your thoughts never left him. all you could do was wonder if things would've been different had you ignored corvus and gone anyway.

maybe you could've stood beside him. maybe you could've helped carry some of the burden. maybe he wouldn't have had to push himself so far.

the moment headquarters finally announced the operation was over, you didn't wait for another word.

you were already halfway down the hallway toward the recovery room before anyone even realized you were gone, your footsteps echoing through the building as your heart pounded so hard it almost hurt.

your hand hovered outside his room for only a second before you slowly pushed the door open, barely trusting your own voice.

"...enjin?" the room was quiet, sunlight spilling through the window, and there he was, sitting against the hospital bed wrapped in layers of fresh bandages, his face noticeably paler than usual with dark circles beneath his eyes, but alive.

completely, undeniably alive. relief crashed into you so suddenly your vision blurred with tears before you even realized you were crying.

for a brief moment you simply stood there, letting yourself believe he was really okay. then your eyes drifted lower, landing on the cigarette resting so casually between his fingers, smoke lazily curling toward the ceiling as though he hadn't nearly died only days earlier.

you stared at it for several long seconds, almost convinced you had imagined it, before your expression quickly shifted from relief to complete disbelief. "...are you actually serious?" your voice cracked, making enjin glance up with the same easy smile he'd always worn.

"oh, you're finally—" he never got to finish. you crossed the room in only a few steps, pulled the cigarette straight from his fingers, and crushed it into the ashtray beside the bed hard enough that ash scattered across the table.

"what is wrong with you?" you snapped, your voice shaking with anger. "you're recovering!" enjin blinked at the now ruined cigarette before rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward laugh.

"...thought one wouldn't hurt." you stared at him as though he'd completely lost his mind. "one wouldn't hurt?" you repeated, unable to believe what you were hearing.

"you almost died, enjin! everyone kept telling me how bad it was, how nobody knew if you were even going to wake up, and the first thing i see when i finally get here is you smoking like nothing happened!"

the room suddenly became quiet, and just as quickly as your anger had exploded, it disappeared beneath the weight of everything you'd been carrying inside.

your shoulders trembled, your breathing became uneven, and before you could stop yourself, tears spilled freely down your cheeks.

"...you're so stupid," you whispered, though there wasn't an ounce of hatred behind the words. you slowly reached forward, carefully grabbing the front of his hospital gown without putting any pressure on the bandages underneath.

"...i was so scared." your voice cracked so badly you almost didn't recognize it.

"i stayed because headquarters needed me... because corvus said there weren't enough people left after that cleaner came back injured... and i kept telling myself you'd come home like you always do."

another sob escaped before you could swallow it back. "then people started saying you pushed yourself too far... that you almost didn't make it..."

your forehead rested gently against his shoulder as your grip on his gown tightened just enough for him to feel it.

"...all i could think about was what if i never got to see you again." your words came out quieter now, almost breaking apart between each breath.

"i know this is our job. i know every mission is dangerous. i know one day one of us might not come back..." you squeezed your eyes shut, another tear slipping down your cheek.

"...but i don't want that day to be you. i don't want to lose you, enjin."

for once, enjin didn't smile, didn't laugh, and didn't try to brush your worries away with one of his usual jokes.

his expression softened into something gentle as he carefully reached over, ignoring the ache running through his body just to rest his hand over yours. "...i'm sorry," he murmured quietly.

you immediately shook your head before looking up at him through tear-filled eyes. "don't apologize," you whispered, wiping your face with the sleeve of your shirt. "...just promise me you'll stop doing things that make me think i'm going to lose you."

enjin glanced toward the crushed cigarette sitting in the ashtray before letting out a small sigh through his nose, the corner of his mouth lifting into the faintest smile.

"...guess i'm done with those." you sniffled, narrowing your watery eyes at him. "...you better be." a quiet laugh escaped him, weaker than usual but still enough to make your chest loosen for the first time in days.

"...yes, ma'am." despite everything, you couldn't help letting out a small laugh through your tears before carefully wrapping your arms around him, holding him as gently as you could as though he might fall apart if you squeezed too hard.

enjin rested his chin lightly against the top of your head, one hand slowly rubbing your back while the room settled into silence.