I need someone more socially adept (or more self-aware) than me to tell me whether I'm on to something or if I've just finally caught up. Or if I'm just wrong lol -
So like, I've figured out that when it comes to meeting new people, the most important thing is matching their energy through volume. Or adjusting to create an energy I'm more comfortable with.
Like if I meet someone shy, I'll talk quieter and that seems to make them more comfortable and slowly we'll get louder. If I meet someone who's a little too loud for me I'll talk a little louder than normal but slowly get softer and they'll match the vibe.
This works the other way too! If I come on super strong and loud (which I do when I get excited), sometimes people get all quiet. So then, whenever I caught myself being super loud, I'd get a little quieter to invite the people I was with to build up to that level of excitement and we'd end up at the same volume I would've been at, but all together??? Like, I had to match their volume for them to then match mine?
Idk I feel like a genius but I also don't know what I'm doing.
It's also helped me a lot with conflict management (which I've traditionally been bad at) BUT I've figured out that if I want to seem controlled, I need to pick a volume and keep it. If don't match up at all with the person I'm arguing with whether they go softer or louder, it seems to send the message that I do not care about their opinions but also apparently "seem really confident"??
Is there a reason for this?? Does anyone know? Like obviously volume conveys some sort of behavior and personality but is it really that impactful??? Have I cracked a code or am I cooked?
