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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
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Me: I should use my social media platforms to really promote my music and make more stuff to connect with others
Me: ermmmmmmm *posts 386 photos of myself and then disappears for two weeks*
I often don't reply because I never know what to reply, and I prefer to avoid the stress reaction of joking (Because it's my stress mechanism, and jokes are often… Doubtful)
The truth is that this defense mechanism against stress (It resembles laughter, but it may be worse, because I can often say/write something that I will regret…) and I hate it, yes, sometimes it has its advantages, but in some situations it is very problematic, I know, it may be trivial "If you can't reply to messages and how can you stress about it?", I see it this way myself, but it doesn't change the fact that it happens, I don't know if it's ASD or social phobia, but I'm just not used to a lot of news (And I don't blame the Palestinians for it, I blame Israel , the truth is that they would not be forced to ask strangers for help, (if Israel wasn't the aggressor and didn't force them to do it), I try to suppress it because it seems selfish, because what else can I call this feeling? The problem is that I joke about stress and don't reply because I avoid stress, which leads to me writing something that I will be ashamed of, it's my problem that I don't have a job and a bank account, I don't care that my country is to blame, that I can't have a job because of my grade and that it won't give me a pension because it considers me too "able-bodied" (Because I'm within the intellectual norm…), the truth is that I can only pretend that I have a goal in life, even though this goal is unrealistic
I'm 23 years old, people my age are already independent, and I'm in fucking limbo, other autistics have homes and jobs, and me? I live with my mom and I don't have a job, not only am I useless, but I'm a stain on all autistic people because I fit into the fucking "Autism Speaks" narrative
I can't take part in strikes because traveling stresses me out and crowds scare me, so to autistic activists I'm nothing and I promote the narrative that autistic people are "Stupid"
So not only can't I reply to messages like a normal person, but I'm also stigmatized by autism… Now I'm probably feeling sorry for my fate…
I try to think about myself as little as possible, because when I try, I'm selfish, my avoidance of stress is my biggest flaw (Right after my ability to let people down…), I hate the fact that I joke under stress and it makes it difficult for me to have such a basis the thing of replying (SOMETHING MUCH EASIER THAN TALKING IN REAL LIFE)
Joking about stress and the uncontrollable mean part of me is something I hate
And no, I'm not looking for "sympathy", I just want to explain what's going on in my head and why I don't reply often, but the post, as usual, went in a different direction…
Free Speech is theoretical. Stop letting people use it as a shield for their hate.
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Deleting my social media except for here and Snapchat has done wonders for my mental state especially in my current situation. I’m starting to realize we put too much emphasis on social media. I definitely feel less anxiety and stress wondering what people are thinking about my situation or worrying if they’re gonna message me and ask questions. 🥹😬🫠
You know what's the biggest pick me energy? The people who say that 'so and so is too overrated' as an excuse to not like something. They could say anything like I don't like how they sing, I don't like the characters, I'm just not a fan of their music, it doesn't hit for me, but no. Their only reason is that it's overrated. Their reason is "A lot of people like it, and hype it up, so I'm going to be different, and not like it for that very reason. I'm not like any of them."
