Aug 11
People avoid uncertainty by choosing sides.
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People avoid uncertainty by choosing sides.
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You can care for someone on a level so deep it is etched into your very being,
Love someone so deeply the thought of not loving them seems impossible to you,
Worship them like your only salvation,
And still not be blind.
To take a stand for yourself, even against something so dear to you, is a challenge to every loyal heart.
But they don't live in your head.
It is your response to make that place livable, preferably enjoyable to yourself.
So draw the border.
Do not let them take more than you are willing to give.
And do not turn the other cheek when their actions disrespect or heavens forbid hurt you.
And you can still use them.
You can give and give and give to them,
Know them deeply and exactly,
What goes and what doesn't,
What they like and what not,
And when you do,
Do what you have to,
So you too,
Are taken care of.
They may not realise what burden they help you carry,
May not see the tool they are to you,
So they are kept happy and maybe you are too.
Ichiji-san’s Statement: The Shadows and the Wall
Deep in the forest, a misguided monkey kept tumbling from the branches, with a cowardly bat clinging tightly to its back, terrified of falling alone yet eager to sip the sweet nectar of reflected glory.
Meanwhile, a noble hound of impeccable order watched from afar, effortlessly dodging hidden traps. Though the hound still hesitated to pay the steep toll for the sanctuary's great gates, it patiently waited in the quiet woods for a true leader worthy of its absolute loyalty.
森の奥、迷走する猿の背後にピタリと張り付くコウモリがいた。猿は「自分は賢い」と木から落ち続け、コウモリは「独りでは落ちるのも怖い」と、その影に怯えながら甘い蜜を吸い続ける。
一方、同じ種族でありながら、気高い狼の群れで完璧な秩序を守り、怪しげな罠を見事に回避する孤高の犬がいた。犬はまだ安全な城塞（じょうさい）の門を叩かずにいるが、いつか本当の主導者と出会う日を静かに待っているのだった。
Two best friends. One is the most worshipped girl in school, the other is her closeted lesbian friend who is no one's first choice and only seen as a proxy to get close to/ask about her friend. She's jealous of any man that tries to take her friend away from her. She loves her more than any of them could and knows her better than any of them ever would. But at the same time, she can't deny being jealous of adoration that is never aimed her way. It's unfair. One time a guy approaches her with a flower. For a moment she's flustered and can't help but feel happy that someone finally saw Her. The joy of acknowledgement is short-lived, the flower is not for her. She's asked to pass it to her friend. She smiles, nods. "Sure" she says. The moment comes and she sees her friend. Gifts the flower to her. "Who is it from?" she asks.
"Me," comes the answer. A smile, "I thought you'd like it."
Emotion spreads faster than explanation.
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Beliefs feel stable but shift with context.
Question for anyone, do people call you just to be kind to you and ask how you’re doing? I call people with that exact intention only in mind often. But it would really be nice to receive those calls from others, and not just calls when they need something.
I need to talk about the absolute hypocrisy of youth culture and the romanticization of marginalization.
We need to call out the "posers of despair."
It is incredibly frustrating to watch normal teenagers and young adults with stable, supportive homes, active social lives, and pristine institutional safety nets who absolutely LOVE to cosplay being teenage dirtbags. They love pretending they were "weirdos" or "losers" because looking edgy gives them a personality. Being 'misunderstood' and 'going through a phase' has been such a long-running joke that has ignored the detrimental effects that the predatory social dynamics of the NTs, cishet have on people of marginalized communities.
it's a safe, low-stakes aesthetic. but god, it's fucking invaliditating. They talk about how "brutal" life is because they know that at the end of the day, their parents love them, their academic track is secure, and their social standing is unharmed. It's seasonal, it's a jacket they can take off. This shit was SURVIVAL for some of us. They don't know the deep, visceral shame. They don't know the sheer detachment we feel surrounded by people who could never understand. Being in high school surrounded by rich kids is NOT for the weak, being in college like that isn't either.