Alien B: “My species IS the predators of our old world, and there wasn’t enough prey to go around if we stayed together.  We’re solitary too.”

Human: *wanders by, talking on phone*  “Ask Uncle Jon to bring his folding table; we’ll need more space than last year.  Did you hear Tammy just had triplets?  And both of the traveling cousins are bringing significant others!  I tell you, we’ll have to make sure everything gets put on the table on the first try, since there won’t be much space to wiggle past if somebody forgets a salad dressing.”

Alien A: *frowns*

I am an introvert. This means I am drained by interacting with others, NOT that I am shy (although trust me, I can be). I pick and choose where I spend my energy, when I can. My job requires a lot of interaction.

How can socialization help?

Socialization gets you out of your head, number one. It also gives you access to other people’s heads, in a way unlike a therapist. As they say, two heads are better than one. This isn’t always true, but what other people can do, is offer you another perspective. Whether or not it’s helpful is another story all together, but nonetheless, they can offer you more.

I have a few friends with thanatophobia, some with beliefs in the afterlife, and some not. Obviously, those beliefs in the afterlife don’t help me much. Nonetheless, it feels good to know there are other people out there that I can talk about this with, that I can explore options with, and discuss what works, and what doesn’t. There are people who understand me.

Even my friends who don’t suffer from it (and I wish this on no one), are at least able to commiserate.

Socializing and interacting with other humans is really just a great way to gain new perspective in general, though. When you’re going through a moment, they can be there to help ground you, to help talk you through it, and to be the sounding board of “everything’s okay” (even when no, it fucking isn’t). They’re there to help you weather your storms.

It does require work, though.

Sometimes the work to maintain friendships are hard, because we are people, and people do stupid things. Most of the time, you’ll be able to work it out. When you can’t, then do be sure to let go of them, and move on to others.

Most importantly, though – don’t just discount them out of hand. If they are your friend, they are trying to help. Keep that in mind, even when their advice is useless to you. You can tell them why, and they may find another way to help, or they may help simply by being there, or distracting you.

Social interactions have a lot of benefits, and can end up combining a multitude of methods for you to help combat your fears, or work through them.

One instance of a near-stranger, far-acquaintance, is the cosplaying barista at my local Starbucks. I adore her, I do, and I got a new tattoo I had to show off. She came right over to see it, and immediately reciprocated with showing me her tattoo, which is oddly fitting and exactly why I bring it up: it was a racoon skull (one she owns) and the words, I think in Latin, that translated out to “Nature is not Sad” (I understood the Nature and Sad in it, and so could figure it out; she confirmed, but really that just means it could be any romance language). It was a reminder to herself that even Death is not sad and is not something to be feared.

I don’t have her strength yet, but I admire it, and it is a positive memory I can reflect on, a moment of sudden and unexpected help and connection with facing down this fear.

Nature is not Sad.

Explains. the loneliness

and I don't think I want to eat anymore

I just want to feel full for Once

I want to look at the stars and learn something

I want someone

Even if it's you.

to hold me like it matters.