#so ymmv

but near the end

(of a show entirely devoted to "nobody is evil, everyone has reasons for what they do, we can all work together" !!!)

Full disclaimer: I don’t know a lot about Ari and Cynthia, so I won’t discuss the unhealthy aspects. I’ve had my concerns, but that’s not my lane, so I’ll only address this topic partially.

I do agree that it’s very different from Hudcon. I understand that the comparison is being made because people are searching for a similar example that feels equally as homoerotic… but it sometimes feels a little ignorant to me? Conflating two different, unique queer-coded relationships into “the same thing” just because they’re both codependent and enamored with each other.

It also undermines the importance of Hudcon’s bonded dynamic. They didn’t just bond on set and in that era, they have fully incorporated each other into their lives, social circles, and careers. Like no, it’s not the same….

I think HC perplexes a lot of outsiders because they are uniquely bonded in ways that just aren’t comparable to most pairings. At all. In general. The entire phenomenon of them is that they are the ambiguous couple to end all others, unfathomably obsessed with each other (but I understand.. 🤭).

Some of my favorite Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark fics!

Mind the tags, some of these are pretty dark.

This is a gift for my beloved @cloudbells who definitely asked for a WinterIron list specifically.

Mutually-Assured Destruction by Sineala (@sineala) (Explicit, 108,711 words)

Note: Most of the fic on this list is MCU, but this one is 616!

Summary: It's 1966, the Cold War is well underway, and the Winter Soldier has escaped his handlers. He makes it to the United States and shows up at Avengers Mansion. He'd like to defect to the west and join the Avengers. Tony isn't the only one to wonder if the team can trust an ex-Soviet ex-assassin, and yet he finds himself falling for this mysterious stranger, a man who has a shadowy past, who has done a great many things he regrets, and who won't talk about why he doesn't want to be in the same room as Captain America. Over the years, the Winter Soldier has gathered quite a wide variety of secrets. And the secrets the Winter Soldier and Tony learn about each other could bring them both down.

Found Assets by hobbitdragon (@bittylildragon) (Rape/Non-Con, Explicit, 11,927 words)

Summary: What happens if the Asset's cryo-tube was stored in a Stark facility, found by non-Hydra Stark personnel, and turned over to pre-Iron-Man Tony Stark as a curiosity? What happens if this is the second time Tony Stark has defrosted a man, having continued his father's hunt for Captain America and thus found him early in the Arctic? Trash. That's what happens.

More below the cut!

-xuexiao thoughts

-songxiao thoughts

-songxue thoughts

separated from songxuexiao

(if you would also like to provide your songxuexiao thoughts i would love to read that too i just wanna see specifically how you feel and think about each ship individually)

(+bonus: any a-qing ships you do or don't have, why/why not, and/or any sexuality/gender headcanons you might have for her)

Oh wow, that’s a very broad question! Let’s see what we can come up with…

XueXiao was my entry point to the SXX ship. I love their chemistry in CQL (much more than in MDZS) I love how – when all other variables were stripped away – they make each other happy. How they share the same silly, almost childish humour, and love to laugh and tease and joke together.

How Xiao Xingchen’s patience and gentle nature allows Xue Yang to experiment with being a kind of person he’s never been before – just a human being, a bit sharp around the edges, but no longer an attack-dog, a weapon or tool. Just a person, being given affection for free, just for being.

And how Xue Yang makes Xiao Xingchen happy, makes him laugh. He’s helpful – first, no doubt, because he’s learned to make himself useful to stay alive. But later just because he actually enjoys taking care of the people he likes. And Xiao Xingchen relishes in being loved and appreciated – and also getting to be just a human being. No legendary hero or world-saviour. But just a person, loved.

I also have a huge weak spot for the kind of hopeless obsessive devotion Xue Yang expresses after Xiao Xingchen’s death! That getting him back somehow matters more than anything, even his own life. That he never stops trying. That his final moments is remembering Xiao Xingchen’s kindness, smiling as he looks at the candy and finally lets go.

That’s a major reason why I started writing Heaven – to give them a second chance at realizing how much they did and do care about each other, how much the other cares. How much of that was real.

SongXiao is by far the weakest part of the triangle for me, personally. Not as in they’re not close, because they are, but because they don’t interest me much without Xue Yang there to spice things up. They have some issues, certainly, but on their own they’re just a bit too straight-laced and wholesome to be very interesting.

I do find Song Lan’s issues with touch clashing with Xiao Xingchen’s tactile nature interesting, and the Yearning can be good, too.

But still... Without Xue Yang there, I don’t connect much to these two on their own. I virtually never read fic for just the two of them (and not only because a lot of SongXiao fics sadly often spring fun surprise “fix-it”s that just boil down to “kill Xue Yang and everything’s fine!” on you without even warning for it.) They’re just a bit eh.

SongXue is delicious. It’s hurty and crunchy with a lot of fun chemistry to poke at. They both start from a place of loathing everything the other is, and then take a fascinating further detour through destroying the most precious things the other has. For that to turn into any kind of working relationship… It takes a lot of work. And that work, the dealing with and overcoming past trauma, forced cooperation, realizing the things they have in common, the world’s most grudging respect and appreciation slowly growing between them... That’s my catnip. I love it. I’m not interested in canon divergent stories where they just rush past all that to forgiveness and love. I want to see the work.

When I first started writing Heaven, my outlook was to fit in some angry hatesex at best, and really struggled with imagining a way for them to actually grow to love each other. And it did take a lot of work! Some 350k of it! And a lot of hurt, and compromise, and dogged determination from the both of them! But now they’ve finally gotten there and it feels solid. It feels earned.

No forgiveness for the unforgivable hurt of the past, but an unspoken mutual agreement to look to the future. Love that for them.

Finally, the SongXueXiao triangle as a whole – I love how well they all balance each other when together.

Xiao Xingchen can be overly idealistic, but paired with Song Lan’s pragmatism it turns into more concrete things to actually do, and Xue Yang’s irreverent habit of pointing out the weakest links in their reasoning to tear down their arguments also identifies what really needs working on… It’s a good way of making progress!

I like how Song Lan’s stubborn patience and stern sense of justice can temper Xue Yang’s worst and most violent impulses, and how Xue Yang can push Song Lan out of his comfort zone and force him to consider greyscales and not just neat blacks and whites.

I love how Xue Yang grows when he’s feeling loved, and how much he loves taking care of his loved ones, though he wouldn’t realize himself that that’s what he’s actually doing. He just likes pampering them, when given the chance! It does piss him off to no end, sometimes, the way they try to "change" him and "hold him back" - but once he’s calmed down a bit, he can usually see when it’s merited and for his own good, and even when not… the compromises are an acceptable trade-off to get to have the good parts of the relationship.

They’re good for each other, a mix of supporting the best in each other, and helping temper and guide their weaknesses into better habits and more nuanced understanding.

This is a set, do not separate. ♥

As for a-Qing… I love her as a character! Especially her weird aggro-sibling relationship with Xue Yang. But I don’t have any very strong feelings about her aside from that – I’ll happily read fics where she stays single all her life, or ends up in a happily married polycule, or settles down with husband and kids, or dates around as she pleases. She can be ace or lesbian or pan or anything. You do you, Queen!

In Deep Blue Sea, she had a friends with benefits situationship with Wen Qing. In Under The Wheel it wasn’t stated outright, but the way she kept wandering with the other three, she never settled down with any one partner, but had the occasional flings and a number of more or less casual bedmates along the journey.

The only real notp I’d have for her would probably be Xiao Xingchen or Song Lan, who are more gege/parent-coded to her in my mind. If, in some version of events, she would be interested in exploring sex with the mysterious (canonically designated handsome) stranger who lived with them in Yi City, though? Sure, why not. I don’t know if Xue Yang would go for it, and it’s not a ship I would seek out, but that I can imagine enjoying if handled just right.

2023 reads

Into The Bright Open

younger-YA secret garden retelling

follows a privileged but emotionally neglected girl who’s sent to live with the uncle she’s never met in rural Ontario after her parents die