#so finally!

MOZART: Le Nozze di Figaro | Act 1: Cinque… dieci — Cosa stai misurando Metropolitan Opera, 2014

Emir scans the ice, eyes flitting to the familiar faces who frequent the rink. In competition, they are his rivals, meant to ignite his competitive streak and drive him to be the best that he can.

Here, in the comfort of their local practice facility, they are associates, friends, and—as his eyes drift to the farthest corner where Layla and her partner are focused on their newest routine—maybe more than just friends.

Neither Emir nor Layla are in a rush to label anything, but the increase in time spent together is noticeable. Coupled with the way their eyes seem to be drawn to each other in breaks during practice? It doesn't take much figuring out. 

Though, everyone gets the same media-appropriate answer. "Layla and I are friends." And it's not the first time he's used that line, is it? "We see each other all of the time. At competitions, during practice. So I'd say we've gotten pretty close." But Ava may be the only one who knows him well enough to see through his feigned ignorance, through the friendly smile that sits on his lips as his eyes soften at the question.

Though, he doesn't feel the need to tell her either. After all, what is there to tell? He’s happy, and that should be what matters. This feels like the first time that he has found a good balance between work and his personal life, but that means drawing a line and putting Ava on the other side of it.

The truth? He misses his friend. He misses laughing and spending time together outside of practice. He misses her. As good as it feels to have Layla to talk to and confide in about matters unrelated to skating, Emir misses the girl who has been right beside him through it all. His partner. His best friend.

Ever since he began arriving early to warm up with Layla and her partner, conversations with Ava have felt shorter. On more than one occasion, their coach has used the word distant. At the time, Emir had merely laughed, unconvinced that anything was much different than it has been for years.

But in practice, when he pulls off a move, his eyes are drawn across the rink, in hopes that he might catch Layla’s eyes, to share the pride in his smile.

Distant.

Spring, summer, fall, winter

This has been a year of change. I’ve been growing and healing so much while also being through few of the lowest points of my life. Some days and weeks I was so sure I could not make it through this year but here I am. The word that’s in my mind right now is thankfulness. I’m thankful for making it through, having the courage to make huge changes, the people in my life and all the new experiences. So hey we did it! Anyone who’s reading this, I am so proud of you for getting through the year! May we make it through the new year as well and continue our growth.