OTPs and NOTPs have less to do with the ships and more to do with the characters
(Disclaimer: I’m speaking in extremely general terms and there are exceptions amongst ships/shippers. I’m also not trying to devalue or insult ships, or claim that one ship/shipper is somehow better than another. This post is meant to be an observation, not a judgement.)
I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that, at least amongst the most popular ships in the Naruto fandom, many ships have very little to do with the dynamics between two characters and more to do with one character getting their “happily ever after.” This is most apparent when you pay less attention to what a shipper is saying and more to how they’re saying it. A lot of ships are described using character-centric language.
(Disclaimer: I’m not saying don’t listen to what’s being said ever, otherwise you’ll never understand their thought process, I’m just saying that you can learn just as much about a ship by listening to the language used.)
SasuSaku is a Sakura-centric ship where Sakura gets the man she wants while simultaneously winning against all the other girls fighting for his hand. This is why in the retsuden Sasuke is so out of character and is sometimes referred to as “whipped for Sakura” by fans.
NaruHina is a Hinata-centric ship where Hinata marries the man she’s pined after for so long. This is why the last focuses on Hinata so much and Naruto is treated as an incredibly dense knight in shining armor.
NaruSaku is a ship that goes either way approximately 60-40. Naruto-centric shippers want Naruto to anchieve every dream he’s ever had and Sakura-centric shippers want Sakura to settle down with the person who’s been so dedicated to her. (I say either instead of both because I very rarely find shippers that vocalize the benefits for both parties.) This is (one of the reasons) why so many NaruSaku fans were surprised that it didn’t become canon; they think that Naruto’s wants weren’t prioritized or that Sakura’s character arc is incomplete.
SasuNaruSasu I’ve also seen go either way but it is largely a Naruto-centric ship where Naruto saves the man he spent so much time chasing after. This is (one of the reasons) why SNS fans think that the ship would’ve been canon if it were straight.
(I could go on, but that would take a while and I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure the rest out or do your own research.)
Why does the Naruto fandom often use the words “deserve” and “earn” despite that not being how relationships work? This is why. Why is one character more frequently used as a self-insert than others? This is why.
This is also where a lot of NOTPs stem from. There are a lot reasons why people don’t ship something or viscerally hate a ship, and this is one of the big ones. “Anti-” shippers often don’t like a certain character and don’t like any ships that favor that character, and they certainly don’t like any ships that favor that character over their favorite. This is why many Sasuke fans hate SasuSaku and SNS. This is why many Naruto fans don’t care for NaruHina. NaruSaku again is a slight exception in the way that some “anti-” shippers hate Sakura and don’t want Naruto with her or hate Naruto and want Sakura with someone else.
This is why I have personally blacklisted many anti-[enter ship here] tags. They’re full of character bashing.
Once again, this is meant to be writing out a general pattern I’ve observed. It’s not meant to be against any ships and I’m sorry if it comes across that way. This might just be me saying what everyone else already knows, but I’ve already typed it and I’m not going back.