#snarryfanfic

BRIGHTER THAN BRIGHT - EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 16

The carriage is much quieter as it leaves Mayfair than it was on the journey there, the mood inside sombre and joyless. No longer does Harry have the heart to comment on the streets and the houses and all the sights London has to offer, and even as they get further away from Lord Riddle's cold and gloomy manor and closer to the safety of Hampstead, even as the fear and distress lift from his heart and mind, still he is not completely reassured.

Charlie is grimmer than ever, has barely uttered a word to him all night, and as they sit in the dimness, rocked sometimes roughly by the uneven pace of the horses, he can barely meet Harry's eye. At first, Harry thinks he is only imagining it, that Charlie is simply lost in thought, reminiscing on the events of the evening, but after many a long moment spent staring quite insistently at his brother, and after clearing his throat many times in hopes of catching his attention but getting no reaction whatsoever, not even the briefest of glances, it becomes clear that Charlie is avoiding him. The reason for this behaviour is not difficult to deduce. He must be so furious with Harry that he cannot stand to even look at him.

Harry wishes he could argue and protest, wishes he could reproach him this sentiment, but even from his own perspective, Charlie's anger is comprehensible and justified. I have never had a fondness for discipline, Harry had announced at the table, boldly, looking insolently at Lord Riddle. And he had thought himself quite clever in that moment, had felt a surge of satisfaction at the silence his words caused and the amount of time it took Lord Riddle to reply. He had felt powerful, perhaps, in a way. But neither the empowerment nor the personal satisfaction could excuse the insolence, and had he known that these words would anger his brother so, he never would have spoken them.

As Charlie continues to look away, his brow set in a frown and his jaw tight, Harry feels the sudden urge to cry.

“Charlie,” he says at last, an uncontrollable tremor in his voice. “Please forgive me.”

When finally his brother looks at him, it is not with irritation but rather great bewilderment. “Forgive you?” he repeats. “Whatever for?”

“For how I spoke to Lord Riddle,” Harry says in a rush, nearly whispering, for he is afraid his voice might break if he speaks any louder. “I should not have been so insolent, but I only meant to defend myself from–”

“I know you did,” Charlie interrupts moodily, looking away again, but his features are softer now, and his anger not quite as pronounced as Harry had expected. “And you would not have had to speak to him at all if I had done my duty as your brother, if I had defended you. I should be the one to ask for your forgiveness.”

Harry stares at him in surprise. His urge to cry has diminished but still there remains a burning knot in his throat. “Are you not angry with me?” he mumbles.

Charlie regards him with disbelief. “Angry with you? Harry, I am furious with myself. I never should have allowed him to humiliate you so. I should have put a stop to it. I should have intervened when he began asking those untoward questions and making those rude comments. Perhaps I should have taken you home the moment he first set eyes on you. I saw his disdain for you, and I felt your reticence. I should have taken you home,” he repeats, shameful, “but I was constantly reminded of what Grandfather said about Lord Riddle’s influence and how we should remain in his good graces, and so I did nothing, fearing that, by aggravating him, I would risk ruining all your chances of marrying well.”

“You can console yourself with the certainty that, as I have no intention of marrying, no particular harm has been done to me tonight,” Harry announces stubbornly.

Charlie frowns. “You may feel this way at present, but who knows what may happen years or mere months from now? Lord Riddle is acquainted with all the great families in London, and a good number of them value his opinion. What if you were to be courted one day, and you happened to return the young man’s affections? And what if Lord Riddle were to openly oppose to the marriage because of what happened tonight?”

“Firstly, Lord Riddle is not the King!” Harry objects loudly. “I doubt it would matter if he were opposed to anything, marriage or otherwise. He disapproved of Maxwell and Vincent’s engagement and yet they are betrothed nonetheless, which is indication enough that some of those great families are perfectly able to disregard his opinion! And secondly, as I previously told you, and many times before, it does not matter, for I have the absolute certainty that there exists no one, in London or elsewhere, that I would ever want to marry!”

“Oh, not even Cedric?” Charlie asks with a small, triumphant grin.

Harry glowers at him in return. “As it happens, Cedric does not come from a great London family, thus Lord Riddle’s opinion would not matter. And besides,” he continues swiftly, eager to steer the conversation away from Cedric, “many of those families you speak of also greatly value Grandfather’s opinion, and he would never oppose to me marrying anyone I wanted. If it were my intention to marry,” he adds in a rush. “Which it is not.”

“Very well,” Charlie says with a solemn nod and laughter in his eyes.

Harry scowls some more, fully aware that his brother is mocking him, but his heart is much lighter now, and he feels such relief that he cannot remain irate very long.

“Do you believe Lord Riddle will tell Grandfather what happened?” he asks after a time.

Charlie ponders this. “Directly? No, I doubt it. Grandfather does not strike me as being particularly fond of Lord Riddle, nor do I believe that they run in the same circles. But it is quite possible that it will reach his ears by other means.”

“And do you believe he will be angry with me then?”

Charlie laughs this time. “I do not think it is in Grandfather’s power to be angry with you in any way. In fact, I believe he is physically unable to do such a thing.” He sighs and then takes on a more serious tone. “I dare not imagine how he would have reacted had he heard Lord Riddle speak to you in this manner.”

“I cannot believe he asked me if I had mated yet,” Harry mutters, his face heating up again with shame and anger.

“He knew you had not,” Charlie says angrily. “He only wanted to hear you say it.”

“Maxwell had warned me that he disliked Omegas, but I did not expect him to be so openly disapproving of me.”

“Grandfather says that powerful men often think themselves above the rules of decorum.”

“I can only be grateful that there were not many guests present to witness it,” Harry remarks.

“Regarding the guests,” Charlie says suddenly, “Mr Snape was not what I would have expected either.”

“What do you mean by that?” Harry asks, feigning confusion and disinterest by turning his attention to the dark landscape outside the window.

“He was quite different from the way you originally described him. I rather think it was gallant on his part to defend you so in front of his uncle. And he did not seem to despise you as much as you said. He did comment on your… how did he say it exactly? Your remarkable nature,” Charlie finishes with a smile. “He strikes me as quite a sensible man if only for his noticing this about you.”

Harry shrugs. “I believe it was only his hatred of his uncle that prompted him to oppose the man by defending me,” he says shortly.

EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 14

While Harry’s second heat does not last quite as long as the first one did, a few more days must pass before he feels strong enough to leave his bed. Charlie remains by his side throughout, drawing while Harry reads or sleeps. From the way he dutifully attends to Harry’s every need, constantly asking if he is hungry or thirsty or tired, it is evident that he still feels guilty at having left his little brother to such torment, regardless of how many times Harry has told him that it was probably for the best.

When Harry thinks back to those dreadful few days, he is filled with a combination of fury and shame. Perhaps worse than the memory of his suffering is the knowledge that, although he does not remember it, he seemingly called out for Mr Snape. Fanny said that the heat is meant to coerce him into mating, and he tries to console himself with these words. He suspects that this irrepressible, forceful longing does not discriminate between one Alpha and the other, and for this reason, he is nearly grateful that Charlie was absent. As he is so often reminded, he is not truly related to Charlie after all. If his reason can be so addled, if this strange instinct inside his chest, this part of him that does nothing but crave and crave, can resort to yearning for a despicable Alpha such as Mr Snape, Harry dares not imagine what could have happened if his brother’s scent had been nearby when he was in the throes of the heat. The oestrus has a mind of its own. If it can turn abhorrence into attraction, who knows what it can make of brotherly love.

Most of what occurs during the heats does not stay with him for long. He cannot recall much apart from the pain and some vague, feverish recollections of waking up and then sleeping again. He knows that he dreams, sometimes vividly, sometimes rather hazily, in wisps of thoughts and images, but all remembrance of what those dreams contain leave him swiftly as the fever fades. He is unsure whether these lapses in memory are caused by the fever itself or simply by the laudanum. Perhaps it is a combination of the two. But it is just as well that he cannot remember. Harry has no desire to know what feverish delusions might have resulted in him saying Mr Snape’s name.

At least he did not ask for Mr Malfoy. He does not think that he could live with such ghastly knowledge.

When Harry finally leaves his room for good, he finds that a thick blanket of snow has covered the world, thus putting an end to horseback ventures with his brother until spring. He is somewhat disappointed at having missed the last days of autumn, but as soon as he is well enough to leave the house, he heads outside with Charlie and the two of them engage in a great snow battle, to which even their father participates. Later in the afternoon, as the sun sets, they construct a great snowman in front of the house and dress him in a scruffy hat and scarf before retreating inside for some mulled wine.

Harry usually finds winter most inconvenient. As beautiful as snow can be at the beginning, it never takes long for him to miss the smell of the warm summer air, the loud humming of the cicadas, the wide, green expanse of his field. Unable to retreat to his habitual refuge under the shadow of the beechwood tree or to go on long walks by the river, Harry must spend most of winter confined to the house, forced to read every book he can find, often ones that he has already read countless times before. When he is truly unable to find entertainment, he sometimes sits at his desk and writes short little stories for his own amusement, or he plays with Hedwig, sprawled on the floor and throwing a ball of twine around for her to catch.

This year, of course, with Charlie present, there is no such lack of distraction.

On the first week of December, after a particularly heavy snowfall, Charlie spends at least an hour rummaging through the shed behind the barn until he finally unearths the old sleigh that Hagrid made for them years ago. It needs a little fixing, having been buried under some tools and refuse for nearly a decade, but as soon as it is good to use, it is attached to one of the draft horses’ harness. Once they are dressed thickly and warmly enough, Harry and Charlie settle on the sleigh, which is barely big enough to hold them both now that they are grown, and spend the afternoon being dragged around speedily through the snow, laughing and yelling and causing quite a raucous through the village, for which they are promptly scolded at supper. Their mother is not shy in expressing her disappointment at finding out that she has not, as she believed she had, raised respectable young men, but rather careless little ruffians.

As much as he loves the warmer weather, Harry is rather looking forward to the colder days, hoping that the river might freeze, because Charlie has also found their old ice skates hanging in the back of the shed. At present, however, the water still flows merrily, with no sign of stopping.

“It is so unfortunate that you were not here last winter. It was frozen for months,” Harry says regretfully one morning as they stare at the river, having taken advantage of the sunny day and the melting snow to walk alongside it.

“It is not cold enough yet. Perhaps in January.”

Harry shrugs. “It may not even harden enough for skating.”

“Do you remember that big pond in Hampstead, behind the marketplace?” Charlie muses, nudging Harry with his elbow to try and shake him out of his sombre mood. “It was always fit for skating. Do you remember? Grandfather would take us there when we visited in the winter.”

“I remember,” Harry says distractedly.

His mother never wanted him to go. She would insist that his brothers and cousins were too rough and that he would get hurt and that it would be better if he remained at the house with the girls. But Grandfather would not hear it. He had never once left Harry behind, even if it meant arguing ceaselessly with his daughter. It is true that the boys were terribly rough, however. Harry remembers how they darted around dangerously on their skates, crashing into one another at terrible speeds, and Grandfather was aware of the danger their carelessness posed for Harry, who was much smaller than they were. He would pretend that he was afraid to fall and hurt his old bones, and he would ask Harry to remain nearby and please not let go of his arm while they skated around the edges of the pond safely. Harry should perhaps have been upset at being subjected to this protective treatment while his brothers were free to play however they wanted, but he took a sort of pride at being kept close as the favourite. He still remembers how Grandfather’s steady hand would hold him up whenever he lost his balance or whenever the blade of his skate would catch into the ice and threaten to trip him. All of his brothers and cousins would get regularly hurt whenever they went out skating, but even if Harry had never been a good skater, he had never fallen once with Grandfather by his side.

“It must be nearly ten years since I last saw him,” Charlie adds disbelievingly. “Eight years, I believe.  Yes, since I joined the military. It will be good to see him again.”

Harry turns to his brother in confusion. “Again? Are you going to Hampstead?”

“Yes. All of us shall be visiting for Christmas,” Charlie reveals with a grin.

Harry grips his arm suddenly, a bit roughly perhaps, but Charlie only laughs. “What? When was this decided?”

“I told Father that I would need to leave for a few days next week,” Charlie says in a more serious tone. “I was going to perhaps find a room in Hatfield, but he suggested I go to Hampstead. I have done so in the past, after I came of age, if you recall.”

Harry nods, looking away in embarrassment. When they were younger, Bill and Charlie both would visit their grandfather whenever the time for their rut was near. Harry has always felt a certain guilt over this, especially now that he knows how much easier it is to be at home during such a trying time. But they would both rather leave The Burrow than have Harry being sent away, even for a few days. Besides, Grandfather Prewett is himself an Alpha, and he was always in the best position to provide a comfortable environment for them.

“And so, I wrote to Grandfather, and he was the one who suggested everyone should follow suit after me. I shall be leaving on Monday, and Mother, Father and you should join us the week after. Everyone will come for Christmas as well. Uncle Fabian and Aunt Mable, with Catherine and Caroline. And Ron and Ginny. And Percy, Fred and George will certainly come as well. I believe even Robert will come with his wife and the children. Are you happy?” Charlie asks, quite unnecessarily, because surely it is obvious from Harry’s wide eyes and grin that he is ecstatic. “We shall have a big family Christmas, just like when we were little.”

“I am happy,” Harry can only mumble, holding Charlie’s arm tightly still and pressing his cheek against his brother’s shoulder. “It will be just like before. As if nothing had changed.”

EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 10.

He had not exactly forgotten about Mr Malfoy’s promise to write but with everything else happening at home, it had slipped to the back of his mind. Although the possibility of receiving a letter from the man is entirely the reason why Harry’s visits to Mr Ollivander’s shop have been so consistent – because it is much too early still to get a reply from Charlie – part of him had been dubious. Perhaps he had been expecting, though he had not exactly allowed himself to form the thought, that the Alpha would forget about him as soon as he arrived in London. Perhaps he had been fearing that what was happening to his sister could possibly happen to him as well, although he would never pretend that what he feels for Mr Malfoy is anything close to Ginny’s affections for Mr Longbottom, nor that Mr Malfoy could have the same sort of attachment to him. Thus, Harry finds himself incredibly flattered and relieved that the man has kept to his word. There is still hope in the world, it seems. There are still people who are true and kind, loyal to their promises and intentions.

He slips the letter addressed to his mother into his pocket, tucks the parcel safely under his arm, and walks swiftly down the road leading home. Instead of heading for The Burrow, however, he takes the path leading to the old mill and then cuts through the moors and the fields until he reaches his beloved tree. He could have gone home and opened the package in his bedroom, but there is the possibility that he would have been assaulted with questions upon entering the house, as everyone is constantly awaiting news from the post, and he wants to open this in private, somewhere quiet and away from prying eyes. He unfolds the letter first, hands shaking in anticipation.

London

11 September 1814

 Dear Mr Weasley,

I have been in London all of two days, and already I find myself longing to return to Hertfordshire and its quaint and peaceful surroundings. I attended last evening a tedious dinner party with other officers and found myself so profoundly disinterested that I could only think back fondly on the evening spent in your home. I have half a mind to travel back to Hogsmeade tomorrow afternoon if only to spend an hour in your lovely company. I would gladly discuss Shakespeare with you rather than be forced to listen to these pompous officers rambling on about military matters. Each day that passes only ascertains my conviction that the soldier life is no life for me. Alas, as you know, I find myself with no other alternative. A wise man must always make the best of his circumstances, as my father used to say, and I should not complain, but I often find myself dreaming of better days and the different life I could be leading if bad fortune had not befallen me. Forgive me for sharing these dark thoughts, but you have a kind heart, and I believe you can understand my sorrow. It eases my anguish to be able to write to you with honesty and no fear of judgement.  

I am comfortably settled in a lodging house on Russell Square, on the recommendation of a fellow lieutenant who is well acquainted with the keeper. My room has a pleasant view of the gardens and the promenade, where I am fond of taking long walks to pass the time. I wandered into the British Museum this morning, and thought of you when visiting the reading room, where it is possible to peruse any book or manuscript in the collection. On the upper floors are works of art of all sorts, as well as fossils and stuffed animals from distant lands. I am, however, particularly fond of the gallery, where one can contemplate all the antiquities and statues of Greek and Roman and Egyptian origin. I had a most pleasant morning, but I do hope you will not think it impudent of me to admit that it would have been much pleasanter spent in your company.

I have, however, had quite the misadventure on Saturday. Upon visiting the shops surrounding St. James’ Square, I came upon the unfortunate scene of the most vicious Alpha treating a young Omega in quite an unkind manner. Many passers-by were present to witness the scene, and yet none of them felt the need to intervene. As you know, it is not in my nature to leave the vulnerable and defenceless to their own means, and thus I approached and ordered the despicable Alpha to cease at once. I am afraid the man did not take to being reprimanded as well as that horrible McLaggen boy once did. I regret to inform you that we had quite the scuffle and that, as a result, I obtained a badly swollen eye as well as a broken nose. But I do not regret my intervention in the least, and the young Omega was very grateful. I have seen him home safely and been thanked profusely by his poor mother. It never ceases to anger me how some gentlemen take pleasure at preying on Omegas, for they are helpless and cannot properly defend themselves. I believe they are precious and rare and should be cherished and protected, but unfortunately very few men seem to share this opinion.

It was the memory of your own encounter with a rude Alpha, and of our first meeting, that urged me to purchase this present I have sent you. I hope you will not think me presumptuous for it, and if ever your parents are outraged and find me impertinent, please be so kind as to send them my humblest apologies. I mean nothing insolent by sending such a present, and my intentions are entirely inoffensive. I have often contemplated these in London shop windows and marvelled at their beauty, but never found a use for them myself, having no one to write to. I do hope you will appreciate them and use them copiously.

I await your reply already, for it would brighten any day.

Yours respectfully,

Lucius Malfoy

Harry carefully unwraps the parcel, revealing a beautiful case of smooth leather which he unclasps eagerly. Inside are three stunning quills, already cut and perfectly curved, and of such quality that Harry would never dare purchase for himself. The small card included informs him that the first is a pheasant feather, the second a raven one, and the third, which he could not identify – mostly black, but turning grey, and then white at the bottom – an eagle one. There is also a beautiful silver quill knife that shines in the sunlight and that makes Harry blush in embarrassment as he thinks of his old one at home, with its worn and chipped wooden handle and its ink-stained blade.