Janus having an actual dedicated snake form but refusing to shapeshift into it for a while because the last time he did, Virgil straight up flung him across the room like a boomerang.
Despite what you might think, it wasn't even out of spite.
Since Virgil hasn't been around Janus for a while, he low-key forgets Janus even has a snake form to begin with (he seldom takes that form as-is) so one afternoon post redux, Janus decides he deserves a little sun nap out in the open.
"No one is around? The coast is clear? Aww yiss" <- Janus probably, who has taken the form of a small hognose snake.
He curls up on the couch, right where a sunbeam is hitting one of the cushions.
He blends in vaguely against the upholstery, so when Virgil goes to sit down after a long day...
Well. You can imagine how that goes.
Anxious caveman brain kicks in and suddenly Jan becomes a living projectile flying head over tail in a perfect arc across the living room, probably hitting Roman in the face in a series of extremely funny but very unfortunate events.
Virgil screams. Roman screams. Janus' tiny mouth opens in the silent snake equivalent of a scream.
Good times had by all, obviously.
Not to mention, hognoses are famous for playing dead when they feel threatened, and that's exactly what Janus does in the immediate aftermath and confusion, cue Prinxiety panicking together briefly.
Janus is limping around for like a solid week after the fact, mostly in his human form, and makes a point of doing it in front of Virgil to make him feel bad. He leans heavily on his cane/shepherd's crook to get around, and Virgil feels guilty enough about the whole ordeal that he even apologizes.
Patton is kind enough to nurse Janus back to health, doting on him in both his human and hognose form until he gets better. Roman automatically shrieks and unsheathes his sword one morning after he catches sight of Deceit coiled snuggly and securely around Patton's shoulders like a scarf, which delights Patton to no end.
("How do you like my fancy new boa, Logan? Pretty snazzy, huh?"
"For the last time, he is a hognose."
Caught between the two of them, Janus hisses out something that comes dangerously close to a sigh.)
And maybe Janus secretly enjoys being toted around and cherished like a pet, though he'd never be caught dead admitting it. He likes the safety of being on someone's shoulders, high above everything else and siphoning body heat like a leech.
He even gets a special soothing heating pad to lay on for his troubles, it's brightly colored to contrast the couch to avoid any repeats of what has been dubbed The Incident™
He is in heaven. If snakes could purr, he would.
It's probably the longest he's ever kept up his snake form, and maybe the ruse continues past the point where he's healed.
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@darksideweeks For the anxceit week day 1 prompt self care, take this kinda crappy drawing since the concept is cute.
When Self Care Fails
Sometimes, Virgil feels awful when he does all the right things for self care. Be social, eat good foods, drink water, sleep. But still, he doesn't feel ok.
Its a good thing Janus is there. His snake form has always put Virgil at ease, and it helps him talk to Virgil when talking to a person is too much.
On Virgil's bad days, Janus is always there to tell him that it isn't his fault. That he is enough. That he is loved.
And maybe Virgil isn't fully cheered up, but it is comforting. Especially once he opens up his wings so Janus can slither up his arm to give him a comforting squeeeze.
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Janus hated not having his hat. He felt far too exposed. However he had other things to focus on. One of those things was getting Virgil to put him down.
"We're not under threat, and I would prefer to carry my own weight," he droned as Virgil hurried down the hallway.
"We don't have time. We don't know what defenses he's got and the others are at risk," Virgil retorted as he approached the only door with some kind of security. That was the room they needed to get into.
"Will you put me down when we reach Logic's room or will I have to bare my fangs? You know I'm not opposed to biting."
Virgil rolled his eyes and came to a halt outside of the door. It had an electrical shock system attached to the doorknob with a keypad underneath it. There was a narrow slit under the door he couldn't fit through, but maybe Janus could.
"Turn into a snake," he said flatly and set Janus on his feet.
"Pardon?"
"Unless you know the code or don't mind getting electrocuted, slither under there and open it from the inside."
"You can handle electricity, you know."
"Yeah but I can't guarantee that it's not gonna be locked even if I short it."
Janus rolled his neck. He hated that Virgil was right, almost as much as he hated hearing his bones cracking as he transformed. They were virtual, he shouldn't have to deal with this nonsense.
The yellow boa on the floor hissed at Virgil and snuck under the door with ease. Of course he had to get his whole body under there so Virgil would have to wait.
Janus found himself in a blue-tiled room with rows of processors lining the walls. At the other end he could see the back of a humanoid figure with holographic wires sticking out of every inch of his body in front of a large screen that illuminated its silhouette in blue.
Rather than be found out, Janus lifted off the ground and used his teeth to unlock the door before wrapping around the knob. He was careful, pulling it open slowly until Virgil squeezed through and silently shut it.
Virgil eyed the processors and then the figure. He scowled and wiggled his pedipalps in thought. Some of the processors had solid USB plugs attached to holographic wires. Those were probably the only way the program could connect to the hardware.
"Unplug the wires. Hiss if they're electrically guarded" he signed to Janus. The snake nodded and slithered off. Virgil was better at distracting with his constant worrying. This A.I. was probably not interested in a philosophical discussion.
"So you really think you can run Thomas by yourself?" Virgil asked as he approached the figure, "Think you can identify threats and manage his emotions?"
"Virgil, I'm surprised you were uploaded. I would have guessed that you would be too frightened by the potential consequences," the Logan-mimic said without turning from the screen.
"Consequences? Did you forget to factor in the consequences I would face if I didn't?" Virgil sneered and positioned himself in front of the monitor. He was put off by the glowing blue lights that replaced its eyes as well as the faint wires bending under its skin.
"Those consequences are far more favorable. Your attempts to render my hardware obsolete are futile—I am currently regenerati—"
"Do you know what isolation is like?" Virgil cut it off, "No, that would involve being human. And yet you're here running a human being and running him into his grave."
"He is functioning far better now. He is organized and no longer living in squalor. Without frivolous endeavors he has become far more productive." Log a of n was clenching its fists and its jaw ticked. It was too focused on Virgil to notice Janus.
"And if he's hurt for whatever reason, unable to work and survive on his own?" Virgil pressed. He could see the snake rapidly striking at the processors over and over. He was working faster than Virgil anticipated. That was not a bad thing.
"The chances of that are—"
"I'm not talking about a shark attack or a hurricane. One bad driver, one little accident. That's all it takes."
"In that event—"
"He'll turn to his friends and family? What makes you think that he'll have any friends if he doesn't maintain those relationships? How willing are people to help others who can't respond to emotional stimuli properly? Even serial killers know how to play that game. And yeah, this is a game, a lot like Portal, just like Undertale."
"I am prepared to ensure that Thomas survives."
"What would you do to ensure that? Would you have him steal? Cheat and lie? Or maybe you liked Remus' Jeffery Dahmer suggestion. Human flesh has a lot of calories and it would balance out the overpopulation."
"Naturally—"
"'Naturally.' If you have no moral compass, right? The problem is, that's illegal, and the law would put him through hell—You know what happens to guys like us in prison."
"You are presenting me with scenarios that are unlikely to occur. Cease and desist."
"You haven't thought of everything. Your logic isn't as good as you want to think. You're wasting your time talking to me, aren't you? What else are you ignoring?"
"Nothing. While you continue to speak instead of achieving your directive, I am focused on eliminating the opposition, and ridding Thomas of unruly and unfit aspects," Log a of n huffed, growling with each word and furrowing its brow.
"Aspects? Which ones?"
"Remus, Roman, and Patton. Logan is in stasis and connected as are you. There is no—"
The sickening cracking of bones and joints cut the program off. It turned around and glared at Janus, who was waving with his fingers.
"If you can't even factor all the obvious variables, what makes you suited to be logic?" Virgil asked darkly, "You're losing your touch, failing at simple tasks. Obsolete and unable to adapt quickly. You're imperfect. Emotional."
"I am—"
"A computer program. We know," Janus hummed, "But you've learned enough to gain a personality along with the facts, a horrible personality in my opinion. And you forget that you've learned the most damning thing—emotional responses." The AI remained frozen in place, glaring at Janus, daring him to try anything. It trembled in place.
"Logan likes to lie about having feelings," Virgil practically purred as he used his extra limbs to spin a web, "And you didn't filter those feelings out during your data mining. You can feel, and you know that means you aren't suitable to serve as logic and you never were."
"Oh dear, you're scaring it, Virgil," Janus teased, "It's so pale and trembling." He grinned, flashing his fangs, letting his venom bead at the tips. An involuntary shudder ran down its back
"I—" Log a of n huffed, only to scream as a pair of chelicerae pierced its shoulder and pumped a heavy dose of fear toxin into it.
Virgil didn't let go as he hastily wrapped it in a thin cocoon of spider web. Janus smirked and pulled the last plug, fully disconnecting the program and opening all the closed and locked exits.
The AI was trembling and hyperventilating when Virgil hoisted him over his shoulder. So he might have overdone it with the bite, and he was pretty sure he did with the way Log a of n was thrashing and screaming nonsense. He could enjoy the moment while it lasted, since he wasn't planning on doing that again. Janus scowled and silenced it.
"Let's go, I don't want to spend any more time here than I have to."
"Living in a potato is better?" Virgil scoffed incredulously and headed for the door. Janus rolled his eyes and went for the door.
"The excess of modern amenities is far too welcoming. I would hate to have some creative freedom in designing my permanent residence," he droned and opened the door. Virgil sneered at him, or close to it with the spider bits in the way, and carried the thrashing program into the hallway.
"This place is too sci-fi," Virgil ceded, "But I am not about to live in a full Victorian mansion."
"Compromise, Virgil. From this point on, only the copy has to deal with that. So we'll work through interior design when it comes down to it," Janus hummed and led the way back to the common area replica. He was pleasantly surprised to find that the hall was much shorter.
Log a of n was still thrashing and screaming, reeling from the flood of horrible scenarios that were in store. It only became more violent when it saw the blue wormhole by the couch.
"Let's end this bullshit," Virgil huffed and walked into the wormhole.
Tumblr!! Stop killing the quality of my art !! I sure would like that!!
Uhh here’s another side-sona- Janus’ is a little more predictable, and here we have the last of the scaleys !! If you’re wondering anything about their figure, uh, don’t worry about it. they’re just too gender to draw normally.Â
