#snailbitch

“Cute,” he muttered, already tired. But of course, he really didn’t expect much else. “It wouldn’t kill you to look nice every once in a while.”

“You don’t know that,” they countered with a grin. Then their eyes moved past him, and a frown took over. “Uh, why’s your house lit like a horror movie?”

“God, it’s mood lighting, you prick,” he hissed as he stepped aside to let them in. “I made dinner for us. Daniyal isn’t home, so I thought I’d do something a little special. But I guess you wouldn’t know romance if it dropped right on your thick skull like a brick.”

They had brushed past him, but they froze in place. “Romance…?”

Fuck.

“C’mon,” he rushed out and grabbed their hand to drag them along. “I don’t want the food getting cold.”

He sat down in his place, ready to dig into the soup he had made for himself. Though he carefully watched as Snail slowly sat down, eyes locked onto their own plate like they couldn’t believe what they were seeing.

“You made me a burger,” they said, one eyebrow raised up at him. “What is this, turkey, or tofu, or some shit?”

“Pure beef,” he answered honestly. “You can check the fridge, I still have some leftover.”

A single fry was held up gently between their fingers. “And you actually fried these?”

“Happened to buy a little fryer a week ago,” he replied, eyes now firmly on his own food. “Figured I’d make some use out of it.”

The silence spoke for them. Bullshit.

“Anyway,” he said before they could call him out, “give it a try. I did my best, so you better like it.”

That wasn’t at all what he wanted to say. Damn his stupid fucking mouth, why couldn’t it just work for him for once? Oh well, no use in dwelling on it.

He risked a glance over at them, and wasn’t surprised that they had already taken a huge bite out of it. Carefully, he watched their face. Doubt. Confusion. Realization…

And pure delight. They instantly lit up in a way he’d only seen when he bought them some garbage fast food they really liked. And, well, he would’ve taken that as an insult if they weren’t so damn happy.

“This is really fucking good,” they praised with their mouth half full, already going in for a second bite.

Oh. His heart skipped a beat, and he had to put a hand to his chest to keep it from leaping out. Something about them changed in that moment. He didn’t quite know what, but he wanted to see more of it. He wanted to cook for them more and make all the foods they liked. Just to see that look on their face again.

“Uh, can I help you?”

“I- what?” Daniel instantly tensed up, straightening his back out even though he didn’t even quite realize he had relaxed so much. “No?”

“Well, you were staring at me,” they teased with The Grin on their smug face. “Guess you just can’t get enough, huh?”

“No,” he softly said before his brain could effectively keep his mouth closed. “I can’t.”

That shut them up. It was almost funny how their eyes grew wide, disbelieving. It was almost funny, and… A little sad?

No matter. Dinner passed by in a comfortable flash after that, with just small chatter about both their respective days. Which was mostly the two of them griping about the idiots they both had to deal with at work.

“There’s no fucking way someone can be that stupid,” Daniel said incredulously. “You can’t ask for something then say that’s not what you wanted! Who the fuck does that?”

“Too many fucking people!” Snail huffed and popped their last fry into their mouth. “It’s such bullshit. I hate clients.”

Daniel then realized that the two of them had been engrossed in conversation a little too long. With a curse, he shot out of his seat and grabbed Snail’s hand so he could drag them off to the living room. After he gestured for them to sit down- which they did with a look that screamed I think you’ve gone crazy, but whatever- he grabbed the remote, and sure enough…

“Fuck, it’s over!”

Credits rolled across the screen. He huffed and plopped down next to Snail. If he could make the TV explode with just his glare, it most certainly would’ve happened right then.

Snail leaned forward. “Don’t you hate this show?”

“Yeah, but you like it,” he muttered, putting his head in his hands. It felt like his whole plan was falling apart, even though, reasonably, he knew it wasn’t a big deal. “And this whole night is about you.”

“...It is?”

He sighed and dropped his hands into his lap. This was too soon. He wasn’t ready, but what else could he do?

“Yeah, it is. I wanted this to be a great night for you. Food you like, your favorite show, a good fuck. And then… I’d give you something important.”

Snail tried finding looking at him for answer, eyebrows furrowed together. It was like they almost knew what was going to happen. But they couldn’t, right? That would be the last thing on their mind, he knew that.

But still, he took a deep breath. His heart raced. Then slowly, almost hesitantly, he let it free, shaping it into the world. It hurt, just from how many times he’d done this already. His own hands felt too hot, too rough against it. Each dark, ugly scar ached and stung with just the tiniest brush against them. He sure was numb to this, huh?

He turned to Snail, eyes locked onto his heart, and presented it to them. “I’m not perfect. Far from it... But I want to be yours.”

A long moment passed. Then a cool touch settled around his heart, gently pulling it from the terrible safety of his hold. He dared to look up at them, and almost broke at the look on their face.

“I…” They took in a shaky breath, thumbs sweeping across his heart. “Daniel, fuck.”

“You don’t have to accept it,” he assured them, hands now in his lap. “I can live with another scar. It’s really not a big deal.”

That only made the look on their face more pitying. Up until that moment, they had carefully maneuvered around every scar- both the huge gashes and the hairline knicks. But then they gently cradled his heart in one hand, and delicately put a finger to one of the dark lines curving along the edge. Not big or small, but somewhere in the middle. Their eyes were curious.

A shiver ran through him. And with no other choice, he let out a sigh. “Slept with a close friend in college. We were… Looking for very different things.”

Snail let out a soft “oh”. Then they looped their arm around him and pulled him flush against their side, then their hand went right back into position, tracing along and soothing every little line it came across. He practically melted against them, and softly explained each scar. A girl he had gone on a couple dates with that wasn’t too interested, a month-long relationship that ended- albeit on more friendly terms. With each scar Snail touched, they unlocked another story about an idiot who fell far too easily for his own good.

After god only knew how long of talking, they settled on the last scar. The darkest mark on him. It stretched across from top to bottom like a bolt of lightning, jagged lines branching off to fill more space. Even with their careful touch, that one stung just a bit.

“I…” It had been years, why was he choking up? “Fuck, I don’t think I can…”

“You don’t have to,” they said in the most understanding tone he’d ever heard from them. “But if you want to… I think… Fuck, I don’t know.”

A long pause of silence passed. His mouth lost function in that time, but his thoughts raced by a mile a minute. If they stuck around this long, then this wouldn’t drive them away, right?

“I fell in love with the person who helped start my show,” he finally said. The memories almost flashed before his eyes, like an old home movie. Memories he tried locking away. “While I was an intern, they found my ideas and… Gave me my big break. And they were just so kind, so generous, I couldn’t help it. So I gave them my heart, obviously.”

“They sure didn’t treat it well,” Snail muttered bitterly as they ran their finger a long one of the scar’s branches.

“They tried their best,” he insisted, because of course they did. Why wouldn’t they? It was his heart. “But they wouldn’t give me theirs in return. They wanted me to focus on my career first.”

Snail grew a little stiff.

“Anyway, after the show started airing, I… Got a little full of myself. I wanted to fight the decisions they made, the ones I didn’t like. Overblown guests, topics I didn’t care about, segments that just drove me crazy. And they… Didn’t like it.”

A thrum of fear surged through his heart, which Snail no doubt noticed. They held it close to his chest, as if trying to comfort it. “What did they do to you?”

“Nothing,” he answered, but his heart gave away his doubt. “They got pissed, of course. And they yelled, tried to make me see reason. And afterwards, well… I had made them so angry, they slipped up. Accidents happen, I get that.”

The arm around him tightened.

“After a couple years, I made them so angry that they gave my heart back and left,” he finally finished in a rush. “So, there. That’s it, you know my story.”

“...You don’t get a scar like that from accidents.”

That… Was not what he wanted to hear.

“What the fuck do you know!?” he snapped pulling away from them. “They didn’t do anything on purpose, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They cared about me, more than you fucking do! God, just give me my fucking heart back if you’re gonna be like this!”

Despite his anger, his heart only grew more fearful, as if it didn’t want to go back to him. And maybe it didn’t. Maybe he wanted them to keep it, but… Fuck, how could they even think that?

Snail glared at him, hands tightening around his heart. Then they set it on their lap, and took a deep breath, hands cupped in front of them. Slowly, a purple heart filled in.

A purple, scarred heart. Almost exactly like his.

“My last relationship before you was the worst thing to ever happen to me,” they said, voice low. “Mike was an asshole. He took my heart and didn’t give me his. And when he couldn’t control my body, he…”

Daniel grew cold. No, that couldn’t be right. But the scars, that broken look on their face. He didn’t want to believe that anyone could hurt Snail like that, but… Everything said otherwise. So he reached out, hands together, silently beckoning for Snail’s heart. As soon as it was dropped into his hands, he pulled it close, hands as gentle as they could be.

“You were abused,” he said under his breath.

“Yeah,” they sighed out, with his heart back in their hands. “I sure fuckin’ was.”

He pulled Snail’s heart away form himself just to get a closer look. The dark purple lines looked like they were begging for comfort, for someone to just reassure them that everything would be okay. And he could feel Snail’s eyes on him, as if they were ready to snatch it back if he made the wrong move. But could he blame them?

A light touch. Just to test the waters. Snail gasped and had the most visceral reaction he’d ever seen. He quickly pulled his hand away and asked, “Fuck, sorry, did that hurt?”

“No,” they answered, voice strained. “Shit, I just… I’m not used to it feeling like that. It’s… Nice? Fuck, I don’t know.”

His finger went back to the scar, feather-light. It had been an eternity since he held someone else’s heart, he almost forgot what it was like. Soft and warm, but almost as if nothing was there. Hearts were odd. On another plane of existence. But he didn’t care about that philosophical bullshit.

A touch on his own heart surprised him, making a shiver run down his spine. But he kept up his soothing ministrations. After a moment, he even lifted it up closer to his mouth, so he could sing softly to it. A little love song he heard in passing a couple days ago. It had gotten stuck in his head and now he just had to get it out. Their heart thrummed quietly in his hands, making him almost grin.

“The hell are you doing?” Snail asked, giving him a side-eye.

“Some hearts like it when you sing to them.” He pressed a light kiss to it for good measure, then smiled to himself. “Guess yours is one.”

That incredulous look on their face softened. Then, unfortunately, his eyes were drawn to his heart. The scars stood out to him even more now. You don’t get a scar like that from accidents. But they had to be wrong about that.

He looked back to their heart. And it hit him that they couldn’t be. They’d know. Without a shadow of a doubt, they’d know about scars like that. About abuse. What it’s like to be used and manipulated, living in fear of the person you love. And apparently, now he knew too.

“Daniel… Are you crying?”

Well, shit. He sure was. He wiped away the tears with the back of his sleeve, then let out a deep sigh. “I won’t hurt you like he did. Fucking hell, I’m going to keep your heart as safe as I can, Snail.” His finger trailed along one one the unmarked patches of their heart. “I promise. I don’t want to be another scar for you. Just… Please, don’t be one for me too?”

The way his own voice cracked made him wince. But Snail pulled him onto their lap, so they could hold him close. He could feel the firm grip they had on his heart. Like a promise.

He hummed in agreement, only half listening to him.

“Next time he comes here, I’m gonna fight him,” they said. Their fur tickled him while they pressed light kisses to his neck. “Or chase him off. Whatever works.”

A shiver went down Daniel’s spine, and he let out a huff because it was too hard to concentrate with them being a pain in his ass like this. “Snail,” he chastised, “he just comes here to deliver the mail. Like these bills. And you know, if I don’t get them, I can’t pay them off. And if I can’t pay them off, then we’ll both have to live in the fucking park like beasts.”

They let go of him and grumbled under their breath, “I just don’t want him trying to deliver any packages. That’s my job!”

“The only things he gives me make me say oh fuck for all the wrong reasons, trust me,” he muttered, making his way to his office.

Snail trailed closely behind him. “Well, you haven’t even let me make you say it for all the right reasons yet.”

Right. That was something he might’ve been avoiding. He liked Snail, certainly. And he found them really attractive. But that was kind of the problem. It was a realization he didn’t want to admit.

He was a goddamn furry fucker. And really, his pride couldn’t handle that quite yet.

“Well, you know how busy I am.” He sat down at his desk and pointedly grabbed a pen and his reading glasses. “I spend all day at work, deal with that stress, come home, work some more by writing my scripts, finally get to unwind, and by the time I’m content enough to even think about sex, I’m exhausted.”

They pouted at him and asked, “What about weekends? We have all the spare time in the world then.”

“Weekends are prime script-writing time,” he explained. Water bill, paid. Mortgage, paid. “And that’s when I run all my errands. Sorry, but there’s just too much on my plate for it.”

Huffing, they dramatically put their elbows on his desk and rested their head in their hands. Then after a moment of staring at him, they said, “I thought vampires have perfect eyesight? Why’re you wearing glasses?”

Well, at least he didn’t have to change the subject.

“Some vampires do,” he answered, glancing up at them. “But not me.”

“Oh.”

Thankfully, that was the end of that. Snail went off to do whatever it is they did when he couldn’t pay attention to him, and he was left to his devices. Paying bills, then working on a script. Maybe he was just trying to distract himself. It worked pretty well, and before he knew it night had fallen.

And the full moon had risen.

He heard the tell-tale howl, and soon after Snail bounded right into his office, fully transformed. Daniel gave them an idle pat on the head while their tail thumped against his desk over and over and over again.

Unfortunately, they decided that wasn’t enough, and straight up knocked his chair over so they could pin him down and lick all over his face. He sputtered and tried pushing them off, because for fuck’s sake this was a little too much, even for them.

“Snail, calm down!”

That only got them even more hyped. They plopped themself right down on him, effectively saying, “I’m not moving a fucking inch, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Wonderful.

“This is revenge, isn’t it?” he asked, glaring at them. It still wasn’t clear exactly how much they could comprehend when they were like this, but really, they couldn’t get too much more dumb.

They only stared at him.

“You’re an ass.”

With them on him like this, all he could do was scratch behind their ears, just how they liked. As soon as he started, they got this goofy wolf grin on their face and let their tongue loll out of their mouth. Daniel grinned to himself, moving his hands down to their neck to give them some good scratches there.

Soon enough, they gave up on keeping him pinned in order to roll onto their back, eager for some belly rubs. He sat up so he could kneel beside them and deliver, giving their twitchy leg a wide berth.

“So much for revenge, huh?” he teased under his breath, knowing they wouldn’t care enough to listen.

After a minute or two of that, he let up and got to his feet. They whined, giving him the most pathetic look he’d ever seen.

“Maybe later,” he promised, setting his chair upright and taking a seat once more. “For now, I’ve got things to do.”

Another whine, only to be cut off suddenly. They scrambled to their feet, head cocked to one side, stiff as a board. Then with a very pissed off growl, they made a mad dash out of the room.

“Snail!” Daniel called out, easing back into his working rhythm. He couldn’t be bothered to get up right now. “C’mon, I don’t need you waking up the entire fucking neighborhood! Get back and sleep or something!”

More growls and even a howl answered him. There was the sound of scratching, followed by a very loud crash.

That couldn’t be ignored. He ran to the source of the sound, and couldn’t believe his eyes.

That son of a bitch broke down his fucking door, and was now running loose about the neighborhood. God, this could only end terribly. And he wouldn’t be able to keep up on foot.

Guess he’d just have to take to the skies.

Turning into a bat was always just a tad painful. That was a given considering he was condensing his tall, lanky-ass self into one foot of fur and wings. Especially since he didn’t use this ability often. And of course, he had to leave his clothes right there, which was still strange to him, but he had more pressing matters at hand.

He flew up high enough to see a good chunk of the neighborhood, eyes peeled for Snail. But everything kind of blurred together, the only things he could distinctly see were houses and lights. It was an effort in futility.

“You furry fuck, where the hell are you!?”

Thank goodness for echolocation. He pinpointed a large mass just a few streets over from the house. In a flash he flew down there, and sure enough, there was Snail, growling and pacing in front of some random house. Like they were waiting for someone to come out and fall victim to their jaws.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” he asked, moving right in front of them and glaring hard. “You know you’re supposed to stay inside-”

Snap!

He barely avoided their sharp teeth. Well, that was definitely not okay.

“For fuck’s sake, Snail!”

They growled and leaned down on their haunches. Almost as if they didn’t understand him. Which, well, made a little sense. Maybe all they heard was stupid fucking bat screeching. But he could probably use this to his advantage.

“Alright, I’m taking you home right now!” Daniel said, moving just high enough to stay out of their reach. “C’mon, you prick. We don’t have all night.”

It was easier than he thought to lure them back to the house. And of course, he used the opportunity this language barrier presented to yell all kinds of shit at them. Secrets, curses, what have you. It was almost like therapy- for the asshole who can’t use healthy coping mechanisms.

As soon as they were both inside, he tried turning back. But a pair of snapping teeth kinda interrupted him. Thankfully, he managed to dodge them again, but his luck was sure to run out soon.

Fucking hell.

He took refuge on the dining room chandelier, biting out a curse. They paced below him, lips pulled back into a snarl. Hanging upside down, he wrapped his wings around himself and stuck his tongue out at them.

“Can’t use me as your chew toy now, can you? Dick.”

Eventually, they laid down, head resting on their paws and eyes glued to him. Every move he made was halted by a warning growl. And the two of them stayed at an impasse.

All. Night. Long.

Once the sun rose, Snail turned back into their normal self, groaning as they tried to regain their focus. They blinked several times, looking around and calling out, “Daniel?”

He dropped down behind then and turned back too, eyelids heavy with exhaustion. “You’re a fucking asshole, and I hope you know that.”

Eyes lit up, they whipped around and pulled him into their arms, babbling on, “Oh thank god, you won’t believe the crazy fucking night I had. Like first-”

“No, no, let me guess,” he muttered bitterly, glaring at them. “First, you broke down my goddamn door and took off into the night like some sort of crazed maniac. Then you tormented and stalked one of our neighbors until a bat caught your attention. And after you promptly tried to kill it, you followed it back here where the two of you stared each other down all night instead of sleeping like normal goddamn people.”

They blinked. “Uh… Yeah. How’d you know?”

Oh my god, they couldn’t be this dense. But this was Snail, so of course they were.

“I was the bat,” he said through clenched teeth. And then, realizing that they were both very naked and pressed right up against each other, he bit out, all red-faced, “Put me down! I need to get my clothes back on!”

Thankfully, they listened and set him down, eyes quickly checking him out before firmly resting on his face. “Uhhh, I’m pretty sure you’re not a bat, Daniel.”

“It’s a vampire thing!” he hissed, quickly making his way to the front door to snag his clothes and get dressed. Honestly, he was too tired to give a fuck about anyone seeing this disaster of a situation. “Vampires can turn into bats! That’s fucking basic knowledge!”

Oh, and they finally looked ashamed of themself for once. “Oh,” they mumbled, eyes glued to the ground, “sorry for trying to eat you, then.”

Daniel let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s fine. But good god, Snail, why the fuck did you flip out like that anyway?”

That only made them shrink in on themself. “I heard someone passing by the house,” they admitted. “And I thought they were gonna try to pull a move on you now that I was all transformed and shit.”

Of course.

“Look, I don’t have the patience to deal with your jealousy bullshit right now,” he said with a pointed glare. Then he pulled them close and planted a kiss right on their lips. “So let me get it through your thick fucking skull. I like you. I’m yours. Good god, I chased you down and risked my life just to bring you home!”

They looked like they were in absolute bliss. And maybe just a bit too dazed for words.

“So next time you hear someone near the house,” he continued more softly, looking at them with as much love as he could bring forth, “just know that I don’t give a single flying fuck about them. I care about you. And only you. Okay?”

For a long moment, they just stood there. And he got worried that maybe he went a little too sappy. But then he found his world quickly spinning around as Snail pulled him into a dip and kissed him passionately. It didn’t last too long, but it still left him feeling all pleasant and tingly. Like a nice warm fire had started up in his chest.

“You better,” they said- rather unromantically, to be honest- with a big grin on their face. “No one can touch my Daniel but me.”

He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but to grin too. “They sure can’t. And you know what? Maybe after I take you to the mall and get you some actual clothes tomorrow besides those rags you call shorts, I’ll even let you do some touching. Sound good?”

Their ears perked up and their tail started wagging like crazy. “Hell yeah, it does! Baby, I’m gonna rock your fucking world, trust me!” They leaned in close and waggled their eyebrows, voice low as they said huskily. “You won’t even be able to think of anyone else’s dick but mine.”

A howl caught his ears. Werewolf. After glancing up at the now very obviously full moon, he picked up the pace. No good would come out of getting caught up in a werewolf rampage. Especially if it wound up getting someone killed.

Slam!

The wind got knocked out of him as something far bigger then him crashed right into his side. It took him a long moment to regain his bearings, and when he did, he was face-to-snout with a gargantuan, wolf-like beast. Its eyes were glued right to him, wide and curious. Well, at least it wasn’t looking to kill him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed. Werewolf logistics were weird, so he had no idea if they’d even be able to understand him. “You could get someone killed, you fucking moron!”

They blinked dumbly, then licked his face, tongue dragging along his skin tortuously. It was disgusting, and he tried pushing them off, to no avail.

“Get off!” he demanded, managing to shove their face away. “What do you want? Food? Is that it? I have plenty of food at home, you can have some of it if you calm the fuck down!”

After staring at him vacantly for a solid minute, they let out an ear-piercing howl, then backed off of him. Daniel got up and brushed off his suit, then snagged up the food that had thankfully not splattered all over the pavement.

“You’re so damn lucky,” he muttered at the werewolf with a hard glare. “Anyway, c’mon. We’re not too far.”

Carefully, he led them to his house, and thank god it was big enough to fit a fully grown, fully transformed werewolf. Exhaustion seeped into his bones as they bounded all over the living room, like an excited puppy that just got adopted.

But this was just for the night. He wasn’t a charity worker.

He coaxed them into the kitchen, and dragged out every last bit of food that he couldn’t stomach. It wasn’t a whole lot, but hopefully enough to sate a ravenous beast.

“Alright,” he muttered, getting it all out free from packaging and setting it on the counter. The werewolf was definitely big enough to reach it, so no use in being a dick and putting it all on the floor. “Eat up. Someone has to.”

The werewolf gladly scarfed it all down. Honestly, it was pretty disgusting to watch. But his own hunger ate away deep in his stomach, and he eyed up his bag for a moment.

Have some fucking self control.

Sighing, he put the bag in the fridge, and almost let out a yelp when he felt the werewolf’s cold nose nudge against his back. He whipped around and glared at them. “What?”

They cocked their head to the side, then let out a big yawn.

“Tired, huh?” he asked rather pointlessly. Maybe it was nice just having someone to talk to. “Me too. But you need a bath. Badly.”

Almost immediately, they leaned back on their haunches and bared their teeth, letting out a low growl all the while.

“You’re gonna have a hard time intimidating me,” he said with a raised eyebrow, putting his hands on his hips for extra authority. “Just let me clean you up and we can both sleep out your stupid fucking transformation. Okay?”

In the next instant, they whined and butted their head into his stomach. Funny how fast they switched tactics.

“If you let me give you a bath,” he said, giving them a single pat on the head, “I’ll get you breakfast tomorrow. And take you home, how about that?”

The noise they made was one of defeat. Good. Like hell he was going to have some bumfuck wolf-beast dirtying up his home. So he led them to the bathroom, making sure to keep a close eye on them in case they tried any funny business, and actually got them into a warm bath.

“See?” he grumbled while rubbing shampoo into their fur. “This isn’t so bad. Now you smell like a civilized being, and not some neanderthal that’s been living in a hobbit hole for half a century.”

They growled at him, but otherwise seemed to be enjoying the attention. But he was starting to get tired, because they were huge and their fur was thick and honestly? This wasn’t worth having sore arms in the morning.

“Alright, good enough,” he announced, switching to the shower for a moment to rinse all the soap off. Was human shampoo good for werewolf fur? Who knows and who even cares? Not him.

Despite him being kind enough to even get a towel, they simply shook all the water off, splattering not only his bathroom in their dirty wolf water, but him and his beloved suit.

“What the fuck!?”

Happily ignoring his outburst, they sauntered out of the bathroom, leaving him to wallow in his despair. What had his life come to?

He made his way to his room, eager to slip into some pajamas and sleep his misery away. Only to find a giant furry mass taking up his entire bed. He felt his eye twitch while watching him get all cozy with his blankets and pillows. Just even more fur to clean up off his shit.

“You’re not sleeping on my bed,” he told them, pointing to the ground. “Now get down!”

They blatantly ignored him.

“Ugh, you better be off my bed by the time I’m changed,” he warned, voice dangerously low. And to make his point, he gave them a harsh glare. Which they only yawned at. Great.

Well, strangely enough, by the time he got into his pajamas, they were off his bed. He eyed them suspiciously. They were way too happy with sitting on the floor. Plus, he didn’t like the way they watched him. Like they were waiting for something.

Shrugging it off, Daniel got into bed and curled up under the covers, eager to get some rest. Not even a second later, the werewolf practically pounced on him, butting its nose into his side so they could get under the blanket too.

He didn’t have the energy for this. So fuck it, right? After he lifted the blanket up, they quickly got under and laid right on top of him. Well, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about getting cold.

Their nose butted against his neck, then they let out a contented sigh. Idly, he gave them a couple pats on the head, and found himself falling asleep not too long after.

That morning, he woke up feeling way too hot. Like suffocating in a desert kind of hot. Still half-asleep, he tried wiggling away, only to find a strong arm hooked around his waist keeping him in place.

The werewolf.

He looked over. Sure enough, they were back to their... Less wolf-like form. They still looked like a goddamn furry, but at least they’d actually be able to say something now.

“Hey,” he whispered harshly, still a bit groggy, “I kinda have to get up, so move the fuck over or something!”

They only nuzzled closer, the fur on their face tickling his neck, and mumbled, “Love you…”

What the hell?

“C’mon, you werewolf piece of shit,” he said more firmly, shoving them. “Get up! You need to get out of my house!”

With a groan, they pulled back and looked blearily at him. That look shifted into one of complete adoration. Then their eyes widened in a deer in the headlights kind of way. “Who are you?”

“I’m the guy that kept you from terrorizing the city last night,” he hissed, not bothering to hide the scowl on his face. “I fed you, cleaned you, and let you sleep in my bed because you’re a clingy piss-baby.”

Their face scrunched up. “Shit, sorry. I get a little out of control whenever I transform.”

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky I found you and not some human,” he said matter-of-factly. “Or else you probably would’ve gotten into some real trouble.”

With narrowed eyes, they scrutinized him, nostrils flaring just a bit. “So you’re saying you’re not a human?”

“You’re pretty dense,” he muttered. Then he took a second to show off the pearly white fangs in his mouth. “If the red eyes and the pasty skin didn’t tell you, I’m a vampire. So there you go.”

It was at this point that he finally realized they were still way too close to him. He squirmed and tried to free himself, but that only made them hold on tighter.

He glared at them and asked, “What the hell is your deal? Let go!”

“Shit, sorry,” they mumbled, finally getting their heavy arm off him. Their eyebrows furrowed together, and they eyed him up like they were trying to figure something out. “So, what’s your name?”

He bristled. “...Daniel.”

“Right, okay. Well, Daniel, there’s something I gotta tell you,” they said. Now it seemed like they wanted to look at anything else but him. “I might’ve imprinted on you last night.”

Imprint. It was a vaguely familiar term to him, if only because he heard it in passing. Still, the ramifications always varied, so it was better to get specifics than to fly off the handle right away.

“What the hell does that mean?” he asked, getting out of bed because he couldn’t waste more time.

While they stammered for an answer, he looked through his closet. What should he wear today? Blue or red? Maybe black? The decision was so mundane it almost gave him a headache.

“It means,” they finally said, right as he decided, “that I might really, really want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Who doesn’t?” he asked, not expecting them to answer because they didn’t know. “My plan was only to let you stay for the night, then get you some more food and take you home so you can finally get out of my hair.”

Their ears flattened against their head, and they looked down sadly. “Right, yeah. That makes sense.”

He sighed and spared them a half-pitying look. “Sorry, but I don’t have time for any kind of relationship right now. I have to work, take care of myself, keep up appearances. It’s hard enough trying to seem human on my own, it’ll be impossible with a wolf-man running amok in my life.”

“I get it,” they said. Despite them shrugging it off, they seemed hurt. “Imprinting’s just bullshit, you know?”

As much as he didn’t want to care, he still felt a twinge of guilt. But he already did more than enough for him. Anyone else would’ve just left them in the streets. Maybe even called the cops on them.

He left them alone to gather their thoughts while he got ready. Hair done, suit on, and most important of all, colored contacts in and foundation applied. Just a normal, average, everyday human.

The werewolf knocked on the door. “Hey, uh, you said you were gonna give me something to eat, so I just kinda helped myself. Hope you don’t mind.”

A surge of panic went through him. He swung the door open. “You didn’t take the blood in the fridge, did you?”

Their mouth was half-full of raw bacon and their eyes were wide. “No.”

“Okay, good,” he sighed out, straightening out his tie. “Well, tell me where you live so I can drop you off.”

After swallowing down the bacon, they hummed, then said, “I live in a forest. I think it’s part of a park? But I know it’s right by the city, so…”

Somehow that was completely shocking, yet not at the same time. And son of a bitch, his conscience would not shut up if he just dropped them back in the woods where this whole mess would happen again in just a short month. And who even knows if he’d be there to keep them in line this time?

That pathetic look on their face didn’t help either. Contrasted with how happy they seemed last night to be in a nice house, it cemented his decision.

“Okay, look,” he huffed, rubbing away the stress in his temples. Was he really about to say this? “I’ll… Let you stick around for a bit. Until you get a place of your own. Because there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you terrorize a park full of innocent people anymore.”

Their tail went wild, slamming into the door frame while they practically pounced on him. All the air in his lungs got squeezed out as they said, “Hell yeah, I knew you couldn’t resist me! I’ll be the best boyfriend ever, you’ll see!”

“I never said we’d be boyfriends,” he wheezed out. Even with his own supernatural strength, it’d be pointless trying to get himself out of their hold.