Mar 22
Malted Chocolate Cake
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Malted Chocolate Cake
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Churro Cheesecake Donuts
Pistachio chocolate snack cake
Apple Cinnamon Banana Bread Snack Cake
And tonight, we’re gonna play a game called “Which member of Kiss is ADHD?”
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Oh boy time for a recipe that’ll probably be thrown into the forgotten depths
Chocolate lemon cupcakes
Chocolate cupcakes
* 1 cup (130g) all-purpose flour
* 1 cup (207g) sugar
* 6 tbsp (43g) unsweetened cocoa powder
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1/2 tsp salt
* 1Â large egg
* 1/2 cup (120ml) buttermilk
* 1/2 cup (120ml) vegetable oil (I used a majority of olive oil and used about 1/4 cup vegetable oil, I didn’t specify any better because fuck you and I don’t wanna)
* 1 tsp vanilla extract
* 1cup (120ml) hot coffee
Lemon Curd:
* 4 large eggs
* 1 cup granulated sugar
* 1/2 cup lemon juice fresh squeezed, from one large lemon
* 1 Tbsp lemon zest from one large lemon
* 6 Tbsp unsalted butter cubed
Frosting
* 1 cup (240 ml) heavy cream, cold
* 2 tablespoons (16 g) powdered sugar
* 1 teaspoon (3 g) cornstarch
* 1 teaspoon (2.5 ml) vanilla extract
For the cupcakes
1. Preheat oven to 300°F (148°C) and prepare a cupcake pan with liners.

2. Add the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt to a large mixing bowl and combine. Set aside.
3. Add the egg, milk, vegetable oil and vanilla extract to another medium sized bowl and whisk together to combine.
4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix until well combined.
5. Add the water to the batter and mix until well combined. The batter will be very thin.
6. Fill the cupcake liners about half way and bake for 18-23 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out with a few moist crumbs. (I have a shitty oven so I added ten more minutes to the bake time after I checked if it was fully cooked, just start off with 5 minute increments, if you want to be more cautious) 

7. Remove the cupcakes from oven and allow to cool for 2 minutes, then remove to a cooling rack to finish cooling.
Lemon Curd:
* Place eggs and sugar into a small pot, whisk to combine. Add lemon juice, zest, and butter. Cook over medium-low heat whisking constantly until mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon.

* Transfer to a glass bowl and lay plastic wrap directly on the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Chill for 1 hours to almost set. 

Frosting
1. Chill the Bowl and Whisk: Begin by chilling your mixing bowl and whisk (or whisk attachment) in the freezer for at least 15 minutes. This helps the cream whip up faster and increases volume.
2. Combine Dry Ingredients: Mix powdered sugar and cornstarch in a small bowl. This ensures even distribution of the cornstarch in the whipped cream.
3. Whip the Cream: Pour the cold heavy cream into the chilled bowl. Using an electric mixer, start whipping the cream at a low speed, gradually increasing to medium-high as it thickens.
4. Add Sugar and Cornstarch: Once the cream starts forming soft peaks, gradually add the sugar and cornstarch mixture, continuing to whip.
5. Add Vanilla Extract: As the mixture thickens to stiff peaks, add the vanilla extract and continue to whip until well incorporated and the cream holds stiff peaks. (Probably make the frosting after the cupcakes have fully set)
Assembly
1. Remove the core of the cupcakes with a knife or a cupcake corer, you need a hole
2. Put almost solid curd in the center of the cupcakes, preferably with a piping tip.
3. Let curd set fully in the cupcakes for 1 hour more
4. Pipe on frosting, and serve
**note that this is posted on the same day is was baked, I can’t say how well the whipped cream frosting will hold up.
**a large cookie scoop helps with filling the cupcake liners. I used 2 scoops of the largest one I had
**normally you’re supposed to fluff your flour, but I was worried it would be too liquidy so I just scooped the flour from the container, like a heathen.
** I know I should half the recipe for the lemon curd, because there was a little left and it was overflowing out of the cupcakes a little, but it could be the fact the cupcake holes weren’t big enough. It wasn’t that much plus, you could mix the cake that’s left over from the removal of the middles with it, so idk.
I suppose I should put a useless story like all other blogs.
It was my possible step brother’s birthday and there was a mix up with the 2 cakes. Instead of chocolate raspberry and vanilla lemon cake, the bakery mixed up the flavors and reversed it. And me being weird I kinda liked it. So here’s a recipe that basically makes that cake. Why are these so long? Like that story was simple and easy. You could easily just say “my mom made this a lot when I was a kid.” Like I’m pretty good at writing a whole essay about something that doesn’t matter, evidence and an explanation, everything you could need. Would anyone even read this? It’s a recipe on tumblr, if I posted this on Pinterest maybe but even then most people I know don’t like citrus and chocolate. I offered some cupcakes to my grandma but I actively left out that the custard is lemon flavored, because I knew she’d make a virtual face at it. I want to show my creations but I can’t do that when no one is willing to try it. My mom was easy to convince because sugar. This is long because that’s the whole joke, for this whole piece about a simple story to be far too long when people just want the recipe. Would this bit even work? It’s all at the end, not at the beginning like every other blog does but I understand how frustrating that shit is. And like since I’m dragging it out it’ll only be more of a nuisance to the people wanting to see the recipe. Should I just half the lemon curd recipe? Do people even read the notes about the recipe? I sure don’t also. I also should’ve put proportions sizes but I don’t wanna put effort in remembering or counting. 8+6+1…. Uhhhh 15 cupcakes that I made. How likely is it that government secrets are put in these long bullshit paragraphs? I hope I get some criticism on this recipe there was a fair amount of research and rewriting. I forgot the name for cupcake liners btw, I had to ask my mom what they were called so that was a little awkward because I was making some more notes on the recipe while doing so. I wonder how I’m going to transport those cupcakes, I mean my grandma’s house isn’t that far of a walk but also it’s kinda hot and I don’t have any boxes also it’s night. Is this paragraph long enough that the joke gets hammered in? I don’t think it’s long enough but I could be wrong, I suppose I should write some more nonsense to add to the word count. Anbdndjdjelskxnjskwjsjzjksnsbsjkwksbhsjsksnsbsjkwndnzjsknwnsjsksks. Space. Ajkdndjoelndkkpl high ndkskskskndjjdksksnnsjsk. I got my cats some new toys recently, they’re touch activated and they make noises and move around. Of course I think they primarily like them because of the cat nip. I think I’m going to stop writing this, I’m getting bored and I don’t have much to say rn.………………………………………………………………………………………… I hope I don’t explode after this…………………………………….. my phone is spacing out this out weirdly, idk what that’s about…………………………………………………………………..do you think aliens are real?………………………………………are ghosts real?……………………………………………………………………. How do food bloggers end these anyways? I’ve never read the paragraphs but they have to at some point, right? ……………………………………………………………………..I think half the reason why food bloggers have such long paragraphs is because we’re encouraged to make a whole essay whenever we’re writing something. I know I am…………………………I’m probably wrong……………………. It probably forces more ads onto the screen at once………………….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………… I know it doesn’t matter but I wonder how the tumblr algorithm works, like do they prefer to show longer or shorter posts? Of course it could be our decreasing attention spans. I like spam, it’s not that bad, of course I’m probably a couple of sprinkles of salt away from death……………..I’m tired……………………… I think it’s time to stop typing, I think my space button is starting to die.
“Vecna Crumpets” (Fake Product)
Tag line: “One. Last. Treat.”
🎨: Me aka Laura aka
supakixbabe/witchofbodminmoor
Ps. I design a lot of unique/weird shit in Photoshop. Self-taught too. (Sorry, very proud of this) If you show any love, thank you! 🙏🏽♥️
