Jun 24
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Instituting a massive overhaul to the federal government’s scientific grant system in order to find the mythical cartoon characters, President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he would be diverting all science funding into locating The Smurfs. “These are very bad tiny blue people, and we gotta kill these Smurfs immediately—I don’t care how many vaccine trials I have to cancel,” said Trump, signaling an end to all ongoing cancer research in order to “harness the magic” that the Smurfs control.Â
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Influencer Smurf after being caught smurfing a smurf
NEW HEADCANON smurfs lactate pure Coca-Cola syrup