#smiledean

5) what’s your comfort show: its........its literally supernatural ive watched it since i was 11 and theres just like the nostalgia of it (im so embarrassed)

26) favorite TV show theme song: hmmm i think ive gotta go with community it really goes so hard

40) is there a show coming out soon that you’re really excited about: im sure there is but my mind just went blank asfjakdslkjs

005. what’s your comfort show? it used to be the office, but now that that's on peacock which i don't have access to, my new comfort show is superstore (or....weirdly manhunt: unabomber, which i have put on to rewatch in the background while working A LOT over the last 2 years)

026. favourite TV show theme song? answered :)

040. is there a show coming out soon that you’re really excited about? well, 911 s5 begins in a little over a week, and succession s3 and you s3 come out in october. i'm very excited about them all! also, i had like....a NEGATIVE interest in the dexter revival but then they dropped that trailer yesterday and now i'm like??? oh fuck, am i interested in dexter again?? the decision to bring back deb as his new harry is just *chefs kiss* perfection. OH and okay: i don't know when this will actually come out, but AGES ago i found out that mike flanagan was making midnight club for netflix (NOT to be confused with his other new show midnight mass)—i loved christopher pike books as a kid so i'm super thrilled about this and hope it leads to a bunch more adaptations (remember me is RIGHT THERE!!)

There is blood on his hands.

In his moments of doubt, pain, and helplessness, Castiel looks at his hands to ground himself. Normal, human hands that never truly belonged to him. Jimmy Novak had a small scar on his right index finger from the time he was a child and slammed it in a door. His left pinky finger was crooked from when he broke it in college. And for a while, there was a tan line on his left ring finger.

One of the first things Castiel did after possessing Jimmy was remove his wedding ring. Taking it off felt wrong, but wearing it was too strange. One of the first emotions Castiel ever felt, after love and doubt, was guilt, and the ring just reminded him of that.

Both the tan line and the guilt have faded, although the guilt less so.

Castiel knows Jimmy Novak’s hands. He’s seen them covered in blood and holding an angel blade and healing people. He’s seen his hand, Jimmy Novak’s hand, branded into Dean’s skin.

But mostly, he’s seen his hands covered in blood, even when there was no actual blood spilled. Castiel imagines his brothers and sisters swimming in an ocean of their blood. He imagines it washing over his body and drowning him. He imagines the blood of the humans he’s killed, and even some demons. He imagines his skin permanently dyed red.

He pictures Dean’s blood on his hands. Dean, on his knees and beaten and begging for his life.

Castiel knows he’ll never escape those nightmares, that guilt. Even if he’s a different person now.

He no longer fights. He’s no longer a solder, a weapon. He uses once bloodied hands to help his son roll out cookie dough. He takes these hands, once used to press against a demon’s forehead to smite them, to sweep his child’s hair out of his face.

He uses his hands to make hand shadows, just to hear his son’s laughter.

And even now, with literal blood on his hands again, Castiel doesn’t feel the normal guilt that once plagued him daily.

Instead, he feels the guilt that all parents feel when their child gets injured.

b&a creator week day two: heroes // villains