#slowdays

afternoons have been feeling extra heavy lately. i get caught up in my own thoughts and end up frustrated with myself for feeling so much. sometimes all i really want is words and touch—something grounding, gentle, simple. even small tasks have felt harder than they should: making lunch, putting the hood on the car, filling the humidifier, doing extra dishes, making dinner… it all feels like more than it should. showers are still tricky too—I get so cold and don’t love being wet—but i’m reminding myself to go slow, to take my time.

noise and chaos don’t help. someone’s vacuuming right now and it’s so loud it makes me want to bang my head on my desk, but i’m practicing asking for what i need instead of reacting.

but there’s sweetness too. i’ve been reading a few books lately and it’s been a real joy. half his age is just as good as i thought—i love her writing style so much, it feels effortless and real. i’ve also been rereading bones and all, which is amazing; the writing is so good, but i think the movie still does something special that i can’t stop thinking about. reading on the couch is sometimes uncomfortable, so i want to make a cozier space—dim lights, soft blankets, good music in the background, maybe even some warmth and snuggles while i get lost in a chapter.

i’ve been letting myself stim more too—on tumblr, physically, in little ways that feel grounding. some of my favorite stims lately: saying “no,” waving hi, flapping my arms back and forth.

this weekend i have a yoga class on saturday. i’m nervous about it because i’m not great with crowds, but i’m reminding myself that it’s okay to take breaks if i need. i hope i like it.

i’ve also been daydreaming a lot about a café that doesn’t exist—global village coffee house—dim lights, whimsy mugs, music, chai tea. it’s the vibe i’ve been obsessed with lately. other current obsessions: cozy wrap tops, knitted loc beanies, copper accents, elephants, and grounding myself in small rituals.

current status 🌙

playlist: global village coffee house vibes on spotify movie obsession: the wedding singer (because… drew barrymore) books: half his age (so far as good as i hoped, love her style), bones and all (rereading, writing amazing but movie still better imo) current stims: saying “no,” waving hi, flapping arms back and forth scents: frankincense (a lot)

Heute habe ich mir erlaubt, langsamer zu sein als geplant.

I just finished my skincare routine. It was a productive Saturday earlier - did errands and treated my mother (mamu) for dinner and some desserts. 

I appreciate slow days now. I remember being a “hustler” in my 20s, especially in my early 20s, and I felt incomplete whenever I was not doing anything.

Now, I love a good sleep / nap, indulging myself with good food, a good book, and occasional traveling. I also love spending quality time with people close to my heart.