#sleepxiety

Virgil plopped himself down in a bean bag in the corner of the rec room, getting comfortable and resting one leg over the other while he untangled his headphones. They were pretty old and only one of them worked - but, most importantly, they were his. Once he managed that, he got his fairly ancient MP3 player working and started playing one of the couple games that it could actually run while music played. 

It was the first Saturday of the month, which meant that people looking to adopt could come through and meet some of the kids who lived on the orphanage premises. From what Virgil knew, they had to pass checks and make appointments and all sorts of things, but whatever. He was an emo teenager with an advanced case of RBF - Resting Bitch Face, he was really only out here in a common area for this because he’d get comments from staff if he wasn’t. There were younger, smilier kids who would be the ones trying to meet potential parents. He was more than content to just chill in the back and wait until this was over. 

A couple hours passed by and he was almost able to forget what day it was, seeing as he would probably have been doing something similar on any other day. But eventually, out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone come and sit in the bean bag next to his. Virgil turned his head to look and he was a bit thrown off at the person who was suddenly there. Most of the adults who came through to meet the kids dressed somewhat formally, a lot of button up shirts and nice dresses, but this man was wearing a leather jacket, mirrored aviators, and was sipping a very large iced coffee.

“Uh, hi?” Virgil said, looking over at him, confused. “...Can I help you?” “I don’t know, maybe. I just wanted to see what you were getting up to over here in the corner.” He responded with a shrug, his voice was also not what Virgil had been expecting - he was much sassier than pretty much any adult he’d ever met.

He held his MP3 player up a bit to draw attention to it. “Playing games?” The man hummed, getting a sip of his coffee. “Anything fun?” “I mean… A little?” “Better than nothing, I guess.” Virgil watched as he looked over the rest of the room and then back to him. “So. What’s your read on this whole place?” 

“My read?” He responded, skeptical. 

“Your read. Your… Take? Your thoughts? How it feels out for you? You get me?” He tried again. 

“...It sucks, but I've been in worse places.” Virgil huffed a bit, answering surprisingly honestly.

“Oof, I mean, fair enough. But like.. Bleak, kid.” “So’s all of this.” He shrugged. 

The man let his head fall back against the wall. “Fair. I feel like that’s… Deep. Probably.” 

Virgil really had no idea what was going on right now. “...Why are you talking to me?” “Why shouldn’t I be?” “...’Cause I’m apparently bleak and deep and all whatever the hell else?” He answered. 

The man shrugged in return, getting another sip of his coffee. “Deep isn’t a bad thing, and bleak is just how things are sometimes.” “I- I guess?” “I can leave you alone if you want, though. This just seemed like a good spot to be, to me.” He explained. 

“No idea why you’d think that, but it’s your choice.” 

“What’s throwing you off? You look like good conversation.” “...You could also just go to talk to all the other kids. Normal kids.” He gestured generally at other kids in the large rec room, almost of them younger than him. That was when the man raised an eyebrow up over his sunglasses. “Okay, first of all, G- Oh, wait. What are your pronouns?” Virgil was very visibly surprised at that question. “...He/him?” He just nodded. “And how old are you?” “Fifteen.” “Ooo, that is on the line. …I’ll just lower my voice.” The man leaned in a bit closer to him, finally lowering his sunglasses enough to peer over them, revealing his warm brown eyes. “Gurl, do I look like I know how to talk to fucking six years olds? Shit.” 

The teenager let out a laugh - a big, genuine laugh. “When you put it like that... Not really.” He was smiling, clearly happy that he managed that reaction. “Exactly. Now, you looked like you may actually be some good company, ergo, here I am, babes.” He gestured a bit with his coffee for emphasis as he spoke. Virgil sat up a bit, actually more invested in talking now, still clearly amused. “...How did you even get allowed in here?” He laughed before putting on a clearly fake offended expression. “Hey, I’ll have you know I’m a real actual adult. I had to pass background checks and all kinds of shit to get in here. …I did tone down my natural way of speaking a little, but still.” 

“You seem like you wouldn’t be able to pull that off, you know.” He responded, laughing a bit more. 

He brought up his arms in a much more exaggerated shrug. “I have many surprising talents. …So, what’s your name? If you want to share.” 

“Virgil.” He said, honestly a bit surprised with himself that he felt no hesitation in telling him. 

“Nice to meet you, Virgil. I’m Remy.”

From there, the two of them just hung out and talked. Remy asked him about his interests, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes - and he actually listened. It wasn’t just polite surface-level conversation, he actually seemed to be interested in his answers and even asked relevant follow up questions. Time just kind of slipped by, and eventually the visiting hours began coming to an end. Remy noticed the sun was getting low in the sky and took the opportunity to check his phone for the time, humming in soft surprise when he realized how late it had gotten. “Well, thanks for hanging out with me, kid. It was cool talking with you. I hope you have a good one.” Remy said, slowly standing up and straightening his clothes.

“Yeah, um… It was fun. Uh, bye then?” Virgil was also surprised that it had been so long, him having no idea how just talking with Remy ate up so much of the day. He gave a small wave as Remy began to turn away from him, walking out of the rec room and back toward the entrance of the building.

The teen slumped back into the bean bag. That had genuinely been… Nice. Remy had been really cool to talk to, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such a chill time with an adult. But it was over now, he reminded himself. Remy hadn’t said anything about coming back. So, he just needed to forget about it. Back to business as usual. 

It was Thursday when one of the staff came to him, finding the teenager on his bunk bed listening to music and playing with that MP3 player. “Virgil?” He looked up at the sound of his name. “Yeah?” “I came to ask if you’d like to go on an outing with a potential parent this weekend. There’s been a request to see if you’d be interested, it’s completely up to you. If you feel uncomfortable or just don’t want to for any reason, we will handle it.” She explained.

Virgil blinked, staring back at her blankly for a moment until he heard himself answer back. “...With who?” She glanced down at her clipboard. “His name is Remington Dormir.” 

Remington? …Oh, duh. “Oh, uh, yeah. I’d like to go.” “You’re sure? You can say no and there will be no consequences. I just want to make sure you are aware.” She reiterated, wanting to be sure of his comfort with the situation.

“Yes, I’m sure. Thank you.” He nodded, being sure to speak with conviction. “Alright, wonderful. I’ll get the appointment scheduled and then let you know when it’ll be. I hope you have a great time.” She gave him a smile, turning and jotting something down on her clipboard as she left. 

Huh. He hadn’t been expecting that. This was certainly going to be… Something. 

Saturday morning after breakfast he hung out in the rec room, actually dressed in clothes to go out into the world and not just whatever old comfortable thing he had to sulk and lounge in. Eventually a staff member came and retrieved him, walking him down to the front area. There was Remy, dressed in what very much appeared to be the exact same outfit - complete with a fresh large iced coffee, leaned casually back against the wall. “Hey, kid.” He nodded at Virgil with a soft smile. “Hey, Remy.” He nodded in greeting as he made his way over to join him, looking at him a little quizzically. “Wanna go see a movie?” He asked, standing up straight. Virgil blinked in response, having to process that for a second, but then smiled softly. “...Yeah, that sounds cool.” “Sweet. Let’s do this thing. Afterward we’ll get lunch and talk some shit, it’ll be fun.” Remy smiled, nodding toward the front door. They walked out to the car together, their conversation picking up almost exactly where they’d left it a week ago. 

From there, Virgil had what he assumed was a really normal day for a kid his age. It was completely abnormal for him, though. Remy took him to the mall and walked them through a candy store, encouraging Virgil to fill up a bag with as much candy as he wanted to eat during the movie. He got everything he wanted - things he knew he liked, things he’d wanted to try, things that sounded kinda gross, all of it. Remy didn’t even blink when his bag was weighed and rung up. Virgil was just surprised the adult had tossed down a small treat bag of his own before paying for them both.

Then they walked over to the movie theater. Remy let Virgil pick the movie, took him to get a huge soda and an enormous bucket of popcorn, and then let him pick the seats. Virgil was sampling his candy, even offering some of his weirder picks to Remy so they could try them together. Many of the choices were strange and some of them did end up being a bit gross. He’d been visibly surprised when Virgil pulled out two huge gummies shaped like fried eggs, but he didn’t hesitate to take one when it was offered. They laughed together and agreed they were strangely good, actually. Especially compared to some of the other things.

The movie was good and thankfully not too busy since it was the late morning, so Virgil was able to put his feet up on the armrests of the seat in front of him and sit like the chaotic little gremlin he was. Over the course of the film, which was not all that long, he’d managed to demolish most of the candy that was worth eating, a substantial amount of the popcorn, and his entire soda. It was awesome.

Remy asked if he was up for lunch when they were walking out, not seeming at all surprised when the teenager confirmed he was. The adult just shook his head in fond exasperation and teasingly mumbled that Virgil needed to cherish having a fifteen year old’s metabolism. He then proceeded to get a huge lemonade, bottomless fries, and an enormous cheeseburger. That choice was met with a similar look, but Remy still encouraged him to get whatever he wanted. It was clear there was no actual judgment, they were just having a good time. 

They talked more as they sat there, still about anything and everything. Friends, school, if there’s anyone at school we like, if there’s anyone at school we hate, hobbies, likes, dislikes.. They laughed, they shared. It was a really nice day. They walked around the mall, they just hung out.

It was when they were back in Remy’s car because there was a time Virgil was supposed to be back by that Virgil actually went a bit quiet. The adult didn’t press, just let him have some time to think if that’s what he wanted. When they were only a few blocks from their destination he piped up. 

“Did you have a good day?” 

“...Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Uh. Thanks. Thank you, for taking me out and doing all this for me.” “Of course, kid. I had a really good time, you’re good company.” He said, looking over for a moment with a little smile before looking back at the road. 

Virgil hummed and let the quiet settle until they pulled into the orphanage parking lot. Then his thoughts finally escaped. “...Are you going to come back? To... To see me again?” Remy parked the car, fully turning it off before he turned in his seat to face him. “Would you like me to?” His voice was a bit plainer, a touch more serious than his normally somewhat exaggerated sounding cadence.

He hadn’t been expecting to be asked a question in response to his question and his response came out in a bit of a quick ramble. “Uh, well. I mean, if you wanted to? You don’t have to or-” “Virge, breathe. It’s up to you. If you want me to, I will. If you don’t want me to, I won’t.” Remy explained simply.

“But if you don’t want to then y-” “Virgil. I had a great time, I would be happy to. I’d like to. But, it’s up to you. You don’t have to want me to come back. You can say you don’t want that. The ball is in your court, okay? It’s about your comfort and what you want.” He said it slowly, trying to make sure the words were really getting through. 

Virgil looked at him for a long moment, searching his expression like he was looking for truth and sincerity. “....Yeah. I.. I want you to.” His voice was soft and he wasn’t looking up at the man sitting beside him, but he said it. 

Remy smiled, reaching up and moving his aviators from low on his nose where he’d been looking over them to up on top of his head, fully exposing his face for the first time since Virgil had met him. - Yes, he had even worn them in the theater, it had been weird but Virgil just let it go. He waited a moment, waited until Virgil looked up to see what he was doing when he didn’t hear a response right away. “Then I’ll come back. I’ll come soon, alright? Promise.” The teenager was a bit surprised, looking over his full face for a moment before smiling softly. “...Cool.”

Remy kept his promise. He came by the following weekend - and the one after that. He actually came back every weekend for several weeks, not missing a Saturday since the one when they’d met. They’d done a few bigger things, like going to a theme park and the aquarium, but they also did lowkey things. They’d gone to a park and just walked around, they’d gone to Remy’s house and played some games together. There were also some things that were a bit in between, like when Remy took Virgil to his favorite coffee shop in the city - it was pretty unsurprising that everyone there knew him.

It was one day, several weeks down the line, that found them sitting at a little café together. They’d finished their lunch but just hadn’t gotten up yet, people watching a bit from their table. Remy generally asked more questions and encouraged Virgil to speak if he wanted to, but today he was a bit more reserved. Virgil noticed fairly quickly that he wasn’t quite his usual over the top self and, to be completely honest, it worried the teenager a bit. He’d come to love these hang outs - he looked forward to them all week. He had a lot of fun doing the big things but he had just as good a time just hanging out with Remy.

The adult’s quieter demeanor was making the teen’s thoughts go a bit wild. Maybe he was tired of him? Maybe he was gearing up to say that he didn’t want to keep coming and seeing him anymore? Maybe he was trying to figure out how to break it gently? Maybe he was going to tell him he wasn’t worth the effort anymore? None of his thoughts were good. 

Remy spoke up after a bit and brought Virgil back to the present. “...Kid?” Virgil’s eyes snapped to focus back on him. “Yeah?” “I, uh.. I wanted to talk to you about something. If.. That’s cool.” Remy said slowly, choosing his words carefully.

This was it. “...Yeah, that’s.. Whatever. Sure.” He said, already trying to figure out how to brace himself for this blow. 

Remy just nodded, taking another long moment and sip of his coffee to stall while he gathered the words together. “...So, we’ve been doing this for quite a while now, hanging out every weekend.. Doing stuff. And.. I don’t want you to just tell me what you think I want you to tell me when I ask you this, I want you to be honest with me, okay? And there’s no pressure or hard feelings or anything. I promise.” 

Virgil swallowed and nodded. He wasn’t able to make the words come out. But thankfully, Remy accepted his response and continued to speak. 

“I…” He began but then he trailed off. They were just looking at each other for a long, heavy moment, before Remy did something he’d never fully done before. He reached up and pulled his sunglasses off. He’d pushed them up on top of his head before but they’d never fully left him until this moment. He sat them down on the table before looking up at the teen again. “...Would you.. Would you let me adopt you? Would.. You like that? Do you want that?” He asked, almost.. Vulnerable? His voice was low and soft, not like his usual manner of speaking at all. 

Somehow, that was like the last thing he thought he was going to be asked. It didn’t occur to him that.. He’d really want him. Forever. No one had ever wanted him forever. And he hadn’t said it in a way that seemed like he would only be doing it for Virgil - he’d asked like it was what he really wanted. It wasn’t some begrudging offer, it was a request. Virgil’s eyes started to well up. “...You.. You want to? You want.. Me?” 

Remy gave him a watery smile, nodding and ignoring his own eyes growing shiny as well. “Yeah, kid. I.. Yes, Virgil. I do.” 

Virgil couldn’t help himself. Before he knew what he was doing, he’d pushed his seat back and stood, moving around the table towards Remy. Remy managed to also stand before the teen fully made it around, able to catch him as he buried himself in the man’s chest. He wrapped his arms around him and let him take as long as he needed. They were both crying and just hugging each other, holding on tight like what they held was really theirs. This person was his and he wasn’t going to let them slip away.

After several long moments, Virgil pulled back and looked up at Remy. Both of them with red eyes and wet cheeks. It took a second before Virgil was able to clear his throat and smile up at him, the biggest smile Remy had ever seen on the teen. “...Yeah. I’d like that. I.. I really want that.” 

That made Remy sniff hard, him moving to put an arm around Virgil’s shoulders while his free hand wiped at his own face ineffectively. Virgil put his arm around Remy’s waist and they just stood for a moment. Everything was going to be different now. Everything was going to be better. 

Virgil was going to have a dad. His very own dad. He’d never had one. He never thought he’d have one. 

The adult picked his sunglasses up and fluidly slipped them back onto his face. He was still clearly emotional and they both knew it. But the two of them each had a reputation and they were more than willing to pretend they were both stoic and aloof about this. That this hadn’t been absolutely huge and crazy and the biggest thing ever for either of them. That they were chill and composed. 

Remy hugged Virgil into his side a little tighter. “...Rad. Let’s go knock out some stupid paperwork or whatever. Then we’ll go get you your own little leather jacket.” He sniffed again. “It’s gonna be badass.” 

... trust no one not even yourself