Sep 28, 2025
'Sleeplessness' by Ivan Milev, 1920.
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'Sleeplessness' by Ivan Milev, 1920.
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I read and get sleepy. Then I put my book down and close my eyes, but my mind wakes me up.
Has anyone figured out a good solution to this?
The restless hours drag,
time itself a rugged road
can't be traveled fast,
prayers and dreams all stall,
minutes go nowhere at all.
.
D W Eldred
Can't sleep can't sleep can't sleep. I am a reverberating echo of my soul screaming for relief and I can't even sleep to escape it for but a few meager hours. This dread ache and other sharp pain in all waking hours. The floundering mind scraping at fortitudes no longer available to us. Let me in I say to my dreams, most assuredly they let me not. What dreams that are not nightmares will I be allowed? Until a final rest closes my eyes unto the next life to be lived. Break down again and again the world shouts, become as dust and clay, perhaps you will be useful as a bowl where you lie in current shape as a beast of no great use. My form remains, despite the spirit molding into shapes of all types, wheresoever we find it useful or fun or creative.
May astral bodies and earthly forces, all that powers this vessel grant me all ability...to sleep. Where will we find ourself if this continues? The stress the strain the cracking spine and shuddering heart? Time does not rest either, she proceeds onwards, pulling ourself regretfully forward, unwillingly to-wards this creeping writhing. How slow. To fall to pieces through lack of rest. How quick. The mind quicker than imagined, body not far behind.
Gods... I am... tired of it all
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Placing a kiss on your forehead,
gently running my hand through your hair;
Sleep well my love,
I will be here when you wake up,
you don't have to be afraid.
if i were god i'd put an end to this but i'm not and i'm upset and disappointed and i can't hold on to hopes anymore and i wish i were wrong and that it's going to get better but it won't.
it hasn't yet,
and perhaps it never will.
My body really doesn’t seem to realise that I only got like 3 hours sleep last night. It basically completely forgot about the tiredness (I don’t drink coffee and even if I did I wouldn’t have given myself time for it today. I’m half convinced if I didn’t try to stay up to get work done I would’ve had my first ever insomnia episode because of how awake I’ve been today), it forgot about the weird empty tummy feeling I get when I stay up late until I had my lunch and it pretty much only just remembered I should have a headache from staying up so late and then gave up immediately anyway (this is after a nap as well)