Living weapon/slave/pet whumpee realizing they don’t have any baby pictures or their lost teeth or anything of their childhood at all. They barely remember it, and so it feels like they just, came into existence fully formed.
Feeling sick looking at other peoples pictures and realize that’s what a kid looked like, that’s what they looked like, while they were being “trained”, how could someone do that to a kid?
Not being able to understand references to movies or books or cartoons because they never did anything other than training, even their education was deadened and cold. After all, what would a kids book mean to a kid that never got to be one?
Hearing caretaker talk about their “inner child” and being confused because it didn’t feel like they had one. They felt like it was too late, that their inner child was snuffed out. Or that they were still just a child in some ways, confused and scared and out of their depth.
Confused when people do things for them without expectation. They had no experience with love of any kind, but especially not the giving, generous, selfless love that might come from a parent or guardian. It makes them uncomfortable, to be cared for. It throws into stark relief all that had been missing in their life, disrupts their sense of the world, but also… it feels good. Like getting into a hot bath after being out in the snow.
