#slanderland

‪Joel Osteen refused to open his 17,000 seat megachurch to help hurricane Harvey victims. That reminds me a lot of the story of Jesus and his 17,000 seat megachurch‬ which he also refused to open in order to help hurricane victims.

The new CFO of Heinz is 29 years old, which is the same age as the bottle of ketchup in my fridge.

Last night on 60 Minutes, Steve Bannon said that firing James Comey was the biggest political mistake in modern history. That is, until whatever Trump decides to do next week.

A new report says that sex robots my one may possess the ability to kill you. That is, if you tell them that their mom can't come over.

A new study finds that the U.S. economy would grow by $2.5 trillion if every American was given $1,000 cash per month. But don’t worry, your roommate will still find a way to come up just a few dollars short.

A car that was stolen in 1979 has been pulled from a murky swamp. The rightful owner is excited to get his old car back while his wife couldn’t be less enthusiastic.

‪Trump's Treasury Secretary said that putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill is "not a priority." That's odd, I assumed his cabinet would go out of its way to celebrate disenfranchised women of color. ‬

Fox News will no longer air in the U.K. due to low ratings. America's grandparents have volunteered to make up the viewership difference.