suffocation (like a loving caress) | teaser/preview
I've been slowly working on the sequel to my fic, stay to burn (only to drown instead), and am happy to share a little preview of it. I am tentatively going to aim to start posting chapters in early 2026, as I'm focusing on getting my shop ready for a really big Christmas market. But I hope you enjoy and I'm looking forward to writing this next chapter of the messiest reader-insert known to man (exaggeration but only slightly) <3
stay to burn (only to drown instead) masterpost | playlist (spoiler free)
Even though it had been three years since that fateful election night, in your dreams you still felt the cruel push and pull of the thick crowd around you, still heard the harsh pops of gunfire, still had phantom visions of water knocking you over and dragging you under, of hands holding you beneath the water until you couldnโt breathe anymore, the sea filling your lungs.ย
You knew that Bruce thought it was a lingering side effect of being slowly and steadily exposed to fear toxin for months on end. He never said as much, but you could see it in his eyes when you talked about the anxiety, the fear, the nightmares.ย
So you stopped talking about it.ย ย
(You hated worrying Bruce, hated the crease that appeared between his eyebrows when you said something that betrayed too much of your own mental distressโฆ You never wanted to be the reason he was worried. You were meant to be his comfort, his relief from the horrors of Gotham. He had enough to be concerned about without you adding onto it.)
Even though youโd been having similar nightmares since youโd first escaped Gotham Square Garden, part of you knew he was right to be worried. There were elements to the nightmares that had only worsened over time, new images that had only appeared after youโd met Jonathan. They were uncharacteristically horrifying, images you were positive your mind wouldnโt be able to create by itself without outside help.ย
And what was better (or worse) for your already fractured psyche than a drug designed to pinpoint your worst fears and bring them into horrifying unreality?ย ย
You would wake, too often for comfort, gasping for air and clutching your chest like you would claw your lungs out just for a chance to catch your breath. Sometimes, Bruce was beside you, ready to comfort you and remind you that you were safe, that the Flood never happened and your mind was just playing tricks on you. But most of the time, he wasnโt. Youโd push the thick comforter back and shakily approach the window before blankly staring down at the city he was fighting so hard to save. Then youโd grab a cardigan and wait for him in the so-called Batcave, eating whatever snack he had down there (youโre pretty sure he only started doing that once youโd waited up for him a few times) as you tried not to shiver from the ever present chill in the cavernous room.
Youโd stare at the wall of the abandoned train station beneath Wayne Tower, trying to push away the remnants of your nightmare. It was difficult to not overanalyze them, not to pinpoint every detail of the dream and where it came from. Instead, as you stared at the wall, you practiced the breathing exercises your therapist taught you and listened for Bruce.ย
Heโd arrive a few hours later, unsurprised by your presence. Some nights he would go about his normal post-patrol business, taking his single eye contact out and starting to document what had happened that night, knowing that you just wanted his company more than anything. But there were other nights, ones where you must have seemed more shaken up by the nightmares, he would take you to the couch and sit with you in silence for a few minutes, before quietly asking if you wanted to talk about it.
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from the first chapter of suffocation like a loving caress. (stbotdi sequel)
of course, this is subject to change/editing as it is still in the rough draft but here. if you can guess who the reader is talking to, you get two gold stars.
fanfic ask game
You introduced yourself, tucking your brochure under your arm so you could shake his hand. โIโm an assistant archivist with the historical society.โย
โA noble pursuit.โย
You raised an eyebrow, barely hiding your disbelief at his phrasing. Sure, it was important. But noble? Youโd never describe anything you did as being noble. It wasnโt really in your wheelhouse.ย
You also didnโt add that it didnโt feel very noble that you got the job more because of your connections than because of your qualifications. Which, when you thought about the more qualified people that didnโt get the position because you happened to be dating a prominent Gothamite, you couldnโt help but feel slimy.ย
Not that you had purposefully used Bruce to get the job. You had applied honestly after graduation, half-expecting to not hear back because you were just a fresh graduate with a fairly lackluster resume. But it was unavoidable-- everyone who kept up with Gothamโs news knew who you were. And the historical society certainly knew that having Bruce Wayneโs girlfriend working for them meant that they might get a heftier donation from him as well as his continued support as long as you were employed with them.
Even the historical society in Gotham was corrupt. Go figure.ย ย
โItโs a lot of power, holding the historical record in your hands like that.โ The man looked over at you. โWhat stories do they tell? What secrets do they hide?โย
Your responding laugh is nervous. There was nothing wrong with the man in front of you, per se, nothing that should be ringing alarm bells in your mind but something was telling you to leave. Without even realizing it, you began angling yourself to better see your exit.