#skewed

Forgiving myself was always a more difficult task than forgiving others because the lines between condemnation and conviction always seem to be skewed. I gave everyone else permission and excuses to be human, make mistakes, or make wrong decisions; but, I held myself to a caliber and expectation that was not healthy or attainable. Whether I harped on old issues with fresh eyes, struggled to release regret, or replay the parts I played in the pains I experienced like a broken record - I carried weights of shame, anger, insecurity, resentment, and fear to the point where it made more sense to focus on my faults than to release them.