#siwoo

“Why do I have to live in this agony?” You complained to your best friend while moping on your beanbag chair. Your night had been going alright, hanging out in your apartment to catch up with Bain on the latest news with his band, when one of his bandmates texted you.

Black Bear - gonna drink together this weekend ooorrr???

While Bain had been your best friend for years, he had introduced you to the rest of his group after he got used to his busy schedule. All of the boys had been extremely kind to you, given how highly Bain had talked about you, but you and a certain boy had gotten along well upon first meeting. It had taken you by surprise how easily you let yourself open up, but you had just guessed it was part of his soft charms.

Geonu and you started to hang out regularly without Bain, where, to a point, you saw him more than your best friend. In that sense, he also became a best friend and it hurt to think that would be the end of it. Bain tried to warn you at first that you would fall head over heels for the man, but you kept shrugging him off since Geonu wasn’t your type traditionally. At least that’s what you thought. Slowly but surely, your type shifted into Geonu before you realized it.

You liked his soft and warm features, a boyish charm that made your eyes sparkle when you saw his smile. When he would dress more comfy and plain casual, he looked fresh out of school and ready to take on the world. You liked that about him. Over the past year or so, he started to show his edge more. Lots of black, jewelry, and he even got a tattoo on his neck. Though it was dainty and simple, that tattoo kept adding on to the Geonu you adored and grew so fond of. Because you saw that even though his appearance was molding into a new shape, his core was still intact.

So you let yourself sit in despair because even though you’re hopelessly in love with this man, you knew deep down that if you date him, it would be so messy if anything were to happen. Hell, even if nothing were to happen to end things between you two, dating an idol in general wouldn’t be easy. You choose the lesser of the three evils: sitting with your feelings, waiting for them to burst.

“You’re the one who refuses to come to terms with your feelings.” The tall man shot back with playful banter. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that he would be enjoying your inner turmoil.

“Oh, I’ve come to terms with them.” You rubbed your eyes in annoyance as to how your chest burned from just that simple text. “I’m just not going to do anything about them.”

“Instead you’re going to complain about them until they eventually go away, which won’t be for a really really long time.” He pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

“It’ll be sooner rather than later.”

“How long has it been already?”

“Like, six months, I think?”

“And do you think that continuing to hang out with him would be helping you avoid your feelings or make them worse?”

Your face heated up when you’ve been caught in the act. You shifted your weight around so you can prop your elbows on your knees and cover your face. “But you know how he is, he’ll get all sulky and pout until I change my mind.”

“And why do you think that is?” Bain questioned, grabbing the chips from the table so he can watch the show before him as your trial unfolded.

You shrugged your shoulders after a moment of hesitation. “Because I’m one of his only friends?”

“Oh my god, you’re just as dense as he is!” The sigh was dramatic as he grabbed the bridge of his nose like he’s Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada”.

“What do you mean I’m dense?” You threw your hands up in defense against the verbal attack. “I know that Geonu doesn’t like me like that, so don’t even try to say that I’m oblivious.”

“What makes you think that he doesn’t, hmm?” He interrogated with such conviction. “Is it the way he always has to have his hand on you? Or is it the way he goes out of his way to spend a weekend with you that isn’t booked with our schedules? Or what about the way you are the only person he has notifications on for?”

“He has his notifications on for me?” Your eyes grew wide at that statement, not knowing if it’s true or not based on some of the other things the tall singer has said.

“Do you hear yourself?” Bain chuckles at how eager you were for that clarification. “Why do you think I’ve stopped fighting you when you drone on and on about him? I should start back up again if neither of you are going to make a move.”

“So now you want to set me up with your bandmate.” You hummed in response, watching as he quirked a smile again. “I never thought I would see the day.”

“Yeah, well, when you need the extra help how can I just let you pass him up?” When he saw the shocked expression on your face, he laughed. “Sweetie, I’m joking! Come on, why would I push you so hard to face your feelings and do something about them if I thought it would blow up in your face?”

That was when your phone vibrated again and you saw a second text come through.

Black Bear - I’ll get that cream mixer to make that strawberry cocktail you like so much???

You couldn’t help but have a smile come to your face when you saw the effort he put in for you. You type back a response and send it with Bain’s approval.

Y/N - ONLY if you promise that you won’t fall asleep on my couch before midnight again!!! getting drunk you for only an hour was so disappointing…

Black Bear - I promise I’ll try to stay awake for you

The music was subtle coming from the speakers of your TV as you sat on the floor of your living room while Geonu was lying on your couch. You had your heads on each other’s shoulders and Geonu’s hand had found yours to rest on your other shoulder, effectively trapping you to him. You didn’t mind, obviously, but you wondered just how long you could stay like this.

“You should come by the studio soon to see some of the things we’ve made so far for the new album.” His words were slightly slurred from the alcohol he’s already had. “We’ve tried to have more influence in this album.”

“Oh yeah? What have you guys done so far?” You turned your face slightly to glimpse at him.

“We’ve, like, expanded on lyrics primarily, Doyum and I.” He kept his gaze on the ceiling while speaking. “Some of the team had come up with new phrases that sounded good for a chorus or the title, so we’ve been building off of them and, like, written some good stuff.”

“You’re gonna have to invite me over to the studio at some point soon then.” You nodded against him, relishing in his warmth.

“What about tomorrow?”

“But I wanted to sleep in tomorrow.”

“We can sleep in and then go to the studio.” He pouted slightly, tilting his face towards you. “I can go in any time I want and take you with me.”

“Only if you buy me coffee tomorrow, then I’d consider it.” You turned your face away from his, looking off to the side so he hopefully didn’t see your blush.

“So I had to buy you cream and I have to buy you coffee?” He sounded incredulous by your statement. “Soon I’m going to start thinking you only like me because I buy you things.”

“That’s not the only reason why I like you.” You rolled your eyes playfully, your tone much more teasing than normal.

“Then enlighten me.” His face was in your neck, his lips dangerously close to your skin to where it gave you goosebumps. “Tell me why you like me.”

“Geonu,” You called his name to tell him to quit, but it sounded more on the verge of a moan when you felt his hot breath against you. His bottom lip dragged against your skin, waiting for your response, but the only words that came out of your mouth were, “Geonu, please.”

“I’m waiting,” He teased back, his tone light but still demanding to show you he genuinely wanted to know. He glided his face down your neck and the way he rested his lips in the divot of your neck made you squirm. “Tell me what I want to hear and I’ll give you what you want to feel.”

“You’re actually insane.” You huffed out, squeezing his hand slightly from the little grazes you got off of his lips. “Who knew you’d get even touchier when you’re drunk?”

“This isn’t even as touchy as you’ve seen me while sober.”

“No, you’re just bolder.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Geonu’s mouth left the spot from your neck. You turned to look back at him and see he’s looking intently at you, waiting for a response. Though his face was still flushed, he looked serious, wanting to get your consent before going further. Your stomach churned nervously, hearing what Bain said earlier in the week reverberating in your head. You shook your head slowly, watching as his breathing quickened. “No, it’s not a bad thing.”

The man turned so he’s on his stomach now, looking at you with bated breath. He released his hand to connect with your cheek, holding you gingerly as he leaned in closer. Once you could feel his breath on your lips, you closed the gap and let yourself fall more into him.

The first kiss was slow and tender. Neither of you could believe what was happening at that moment. But after that first kiss came the second, then the third, until the two of you couldn’t distinguish where one kiss ended and another began. The music became drowned out by the sound of your makeout and whiny moans. Geonu couldn’t help but groan into your mouth when you reached behind him to tangle your fingers in his hair. He had let you play with his hair before, but knotting your fingers into it with desperation was a different sensation.

You moaned into his mouth when he started to use tongue, exploring you further. It made your mind spin as to what else he could do with it and made you crave more. You had to press your thighs together to get some relief at the thought of what could transpire next. Your mind didn’t have to stay in the gutter for long as the man skillfully removed himself from the couch so he could properly come over you. You gripped onto the collar of his shirt to bring him closer again, keeping your lips locked while he grabbed your waist. He leaned you back until you were laid out on the floor, his thumb caressing the exposed part of your hip that peeked above your shorts.

You decided to get bolder as well and pull him further down on top of you. You wanted to return the favor of his lips giving you goosebumps. You had dreamed of the day where you could place your mark on him, right where his tattoo becomes a crosshair. Your mouth attached to him and the pathetic moan that came out made you proud. He almost crumbled on top of you from the way you nipped at his skin. He started breathing heavily when you hummed against his neck while creating a rose patterned blemish on his skin. He was becoming undone by you and you wouldn’t stop until he was putty.

Geonu’s mind was hazy when you started to leave marks on him. He could barely control himself after that since he wanted to be used by you. He had hoped this day would come soon where he could be desirable to you, and with a little push from Bain, he was confident enough to be bold. Now that you’re taking control and showing him how much you want him, he didn’t want to stop. His hand stayed firmly planted on your waist while feeling the electric jolts of you biting into him. The groan that came from him gave you an ego boost that went straight for your core.

He came back up to kiss you again, his hand trailing down now for you to wrap one leg around his waist. He did not want you to let go of him, and nor did you. He kissed you again as he placed himself in between your legs, wanting to let you rut against him if you would be so generous. But he couldn’t live out that part of his fantasy before he heard his phone ringing from the couch. He pulled himself away breathlessly, whispering, “That’s my manager.”

“Let it go to voicemail.” You quipped, not wanting your fantasy to fade.

“I can’t.” He sounded defeated, pressing one last harsh kiss to your lips before standing up to find which couch cushion it fastened itself between. “I’m sorry.”

You sat up from your position, watching him fumble with his phone to answer it. Now that he’s left you, the reality of what just happened sobered you up and crashed your world to the ground. Your heart pounded in your throat as coherent thoughts flooded your mind. Oh, okay. That just happened. What the fuck do you mean that all just happened? You caught snippets of what the conversation was. You could tell that his manager was giving him a lecture over the phone, probably about being out so late without anyone to monitor or protect him. That’s when reality started to sink in as the messiness you wanted to avoid had already started. The pit of anticipation turned into the pit of anxiety. You really just made out with Geonu. As he continued on with his phone call, you quickly got up from your spot on the floor and started to clean up the empty soju bottles and snacks. You busied yourself in hopes it’ll distract you from the insufferable aching in your body.

Geonu eventually hung up with his manager. A sigh escaped his lips before he could say, “Sorry about that, but I think I have to call it a night. He’s trying to cover for me right now. But maybe tomorrow-”

“No, no, I totally get it.” You cut him off while trying to stuff everything back into your cupboards. The embarrassment started to creep in as well, being overly attentive to his wording so you can circumvent this moment. “Do what you need to do. It’s okay, I had fun and I can see you another time.”

He ran a hand through his black hair, thoroughly confused by the drastic change in your demeanor. “Why do I get the impression that this isn’t okay?”

“No, it’s fine, really, Geonu.” You kept yourself busy in your kitchen as he watched on. He wouldn’t know any better, but you’re actively just trying to stay moving so you don’t have to look him in his eyes. “You’ve got your idol life to attend to, and I’ve got my mundane one. It was fun while it lasted so I’m glad that we could experience that and end it here.”

“End it here?” He’s so confused by your statement, not knowing that this was coming from your insecurities. “You’re ending this before it’s even officially started?”

“Well, come on. Look at you and look at me.” You deflected, a small huff to try to convey your mock nonchalant attitude is pushed out. “This was just for fun. Best friends sharing drinks with each other, it gets a little frisky, exploring a kink or two, but that’s all we can be.”

His heart sank at your dismissal. He didn’t know if he’s more hurt being called “just for fun” or that you would believe he thinks that lowly of you. Dejected, he took a couple of steps back to the couch to collect his things. “Sorry for thinking we could have been more.”

“What?” Your head snapped up at the confession, not realizing that this man would genuinely want something more with you. While it was true you didn’t know what his type is, you would have figured that another idol would fit for him. It would be much easier to share a life with someone who understands the fame you come from, after all. “What do you mean ‘more’?”

“I have wanted us to do exactly ‘this’,” He motioned in big circles at you and the living room. “For months, so when I finally built up the courage to and you dove there with me, I wasn’t expecting for you to dismiss what we could’ve had.”

“Geonu, wait.” You tried to stop him from putting his shoes on while walking through your door.  “That’s not what I-.”

“No, I think you made it pretty clear.” He sighed, pushing back his hair. “I will see you later, my manager is going to pick me up.”

You could only watch him walk out your door, gently closing it behind him while he walked away from you, your home, and what you had with him. That anticipation turned anxiety is now guilt. Fuck, why did I just ruin that? If I didn’t open my mouth, he’d still be here. You could kick yourself so many times for how badly you just fumbled. You had let your insecurities do all of the talking and now you are left with the burn book of a failed love. You sucked up your pride and grabbed your phone from the coffee table.

Y/N - I royally fucked this up…can you help fix it?

Bain - after all of my hard work as a match maker, there will be a fee.

The following day, Bain had orchestrated an idea for you to get your one that got away. While he really wanted to plan every little detail out, down to the tone of what you had to say, you were able to convince him to let you say what was needed in your own words. Your best friend let you in the back entrance of the company and through the halls. You weren’t unfamiliar with the back ways through Bluedot, it was just always much easier for the boys to come to you.

Bain led you down the hall to where the personal studios were, stopping in front of the one closed door in the hallway. He had you take a step back so you couldn’t be seen in the doorway before he knocked on it. With hearing a faint answer, the blond opened the door and asked, “Hey, I didn’t see you leave this morning. How long have you been here?”

“Since dawn or so, I think.” You could hear his voice sounded so tired and you knew that you caused his insomnia. “The sky was already starting to turn yellow.”

“That means it’s time to take a break then. Did you see the text I sent you?”

There was a small pause and you heard his chair move. “No, sorry, DND is on. But I’ll be okay, so you and Jimin can go without me.”

“Are you sure? Don’t tell me you’re going to pass up samgyeopsal on your off day to work on music.” Bain showed genuine concern, but knew that this is how his friend gets when he’s upset about something. It’s the only way the plan would work.

“Yeah, I’ll go with you guys another day. Promise.”

“Okay, but don’t stay caged up in here all day. Let me know if you change your mind.” And with that, Bain stepped out and ushered you in.

You silently stepped into the booth behind him while Bain closed the door. He was not looking at you, nor the reflection of you in his monitor; he was fully engrossed in the music to drown out any of his feelings. This is when phase two of Bain’s plans started. You pulled out your phone and texted him.

Y/N - you passing up samgyeopsal is like watching a meteor collide with the moon.

As soon as you sent your text, you saw the screen on Geonu’s phone light up. He looked down at his phone intently to study your message before whipping around to find you standing behind him. He took his headphones off to give all of his attention to you. He seemed shocked, but not scared. “What are you doing here?”

“I came here to convince you to go get food with your dearest friends because I’m worried about you.” You sat gingerly on the armrest of the chair next to you, feeling awkward now. You could see him fully now, dressed in all black with his signature beanie and a couple of necklaces hanging around his collarbones. You could also see the mark you left yesterday on his tattoo, making the butterflies erupt in your belly. He didn’t even attempt to cover it. “And I know that I’m the reason I am worried about you, so I wanted to apologize.”

His tired eyes scanned over you, seeing how cozy you look in your big tshirt, watching you nervously mess with the rings on your fingers, and the look of shame that blanketed your face. He shook his head slightly, his voice low when he said, “Nothing to apologize for. I just had the wrong impression.”

“No, I had the wrong impression.” You confessed, trying to prevent him from turning away from you. “I was so caught up in pushing away what I wanted that I had also pushed away what you wanted. We wanted the same thing, but I was scared. I didn’t think that things would ever start between us, let alone potentially work out in the long run. I should’ve talked to you about it. So I’m sorry.”

“Why were you scared?” He wondered, not knowing what made you feel like you two could never be an option. “You know that I care about you a lot.”

“I do, but I didn’t think you would want to date me. I had no idea who would catch your attention, and I didn’t realize that it was me.” Your eyes averted to the floor as your face heated up again. “And then when you started talking about your manager being upset with you, it made me think, ‘Oh my god, I’m going to jeopardize his career now, he’s going to resent me and we will never see each other again.’ so I decided to end it there because I would much rather live with me being mad at me than you being mad-”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He chuckled lightly as he moved forward in his chair towards you. His hands grabbed yours gently, rubbing his thumbs across the backs of them. He wanted to quell your anxieties since there was no need for them in this space. “I will admit, I thought that you had the impression I didn’t like you at all and would never, and that hurt. You’re quite literally the only person I can think about.”

You smiled slightly at him, seeing how more relaxed he is now. You stepped closer to him, finally getting a sense of relief. “It’s crazy you say that, I guess Bain was right after all.”

“He was. Was this also his plan?”

“About 75% of it, yes.”

“The way he knows us better than we know ourselves.”

“Yeah, he was the final push as to why your bold move was able to work on me last night.” You shook your head in disbelief. “I probably would still be in denial if he didn’t talk to me.”

“Well, I say that for the fun of it, we should make him believe his plan failed.” Geonu’s mischievous smile appeared which made you itch in eagerness.

“And how do you suggest we do that?” You cocked your head to the side, watching the gears turn in his brain.

“I suggest,” He pulled you even closer to where you had to straddle his lap in the desk chair, which you didn’t mind in the slightest. His hands found your hips instead and held you onto him. “That the both of us text him about how he led us astray and should give up being a love coach for us and instead focus on himself.”

You laughed at the evil plot, ready for the frantic texts from him asking for all of the details. “Okay, then what shall we do now?”

His eyes were trained on you, watching as the nervousness kicked in for him. Though he probably knew what the answer to the question was, he suggested, “Shall we pick up where we left off?”

“Geonu, there can be employees here too today.” You warned. His stare, though, made you want to just try your best to stay as quiet as possible. “I didn’t know you were an exhibitionist.”

“There’s a lot that we have to find out about each other then.” He put his hand on the back of your neck, gently pulling you down closer to his lips. “I’ve got all day, baby.”

You let him pull you deeper until your lips connected again. Without the anxiety of worrying what might happen in the future, you were able to fully indulge yourself in him. All of the thoughts you’ve had about being with him, all of the sleepless nights thinking about what it would feel like to have his body mold with yours, you don’t have to think any more. You can experience it. The fact that he was thinking the same thing satiates the rest of your nerves.

Geonu gripped onto your hips like his life depended on it. He did not want to let you walk through that door again without making sure you knew that you were the only person he wanted to do this with. He would not let you walk out of this studio without a mark or two of your own. As his lips left yours to trail down your neck, he relished in how your hands found their way back to his hair to tug gently. Eliciting the hushed moan from your lips as a hand trailed up your back and his mouth down to the crevice of your neck again, he finished what he started the previous night. “We could change the way society views relationships, we could be the power couple of the century if we showed them how hot you are.”

You broke from your blissful state for a moment to chuckle at his words, licking your bottom lip from how easily dry it became. “Let’s take it up with your company first, going 100% public now is a bit crazy.”

He hummed against your skin, pulling away after a moment to admire the red bruise that started to form. His eyes bored up at you when he asked, “Would it still be crazy if I said I knew I loved you?”

Your head tilted to the side to pry further into his statement. “You do?”

“It was a dangerous slope to fall in love with you.” The poetic genius in him came out when reminiscing on his time with you. “It became harder and harder to resist when I grew more and more like myself when I was with you. I can be who I want to be because you liked me every step of the way. I didn’t mind jumping into love without a safety net. It was a bit scary last night, but you did catch me.”

You couldn’t contain the smile from infecting you, which in turn made his ears go red and return the smile. You pulled him in for another kiss, still as passionate but not as lustful as before. You really did love him, and you really did want to make it work no matter what his company or society might think. You owed it to him and yourself to put those anxieties to rest. “I don't think it’s crazy because I’m in love with you too.”

You didn’t know his smile could grow bigger, but you were proven wrong when he laughed wholeheartedly. He was going to ingrain this moment into his brain for the rest of his life. He did not want to lose any feeling or detail in your face from this moment. He wanted to drink up every bit of you until he drowned. He knew you would be with him through every wave of your relationship, no matter how tough. He buried his face in your chest, wrapping his arms around your waist while your hands continued to play with his hair. “While we are here, I can finally tell you that the love song I wrote is about you.”

That only caught you by surprise slightly, knowing what you know now. “You should let me hear it so I can give you my critiques.”