#sitaramam

Mid December of 1965, I remember leaving behind Hyderabad to find home, with you, in Kashmir. I had run away from the palace just a day after you had left. I remember turning up to your camp. You were there, with the rest of the troop. I remember your first words to me when we met.

"Nenu inka anaathani kaadhu kada?"

"I'm no longer an orphan, right?"

Why had you ever thought that way Ram? I wanted to tell you that very moment, that no matter how far apart we were from each other, no matter how many months we lived away from one another, you would always belong with me. And I with you. That no matter what kept us apart we would always tend to inch close to each other even if it was by just a footstep.

But you were too overwhelmed to listen to anything but a yes and so was I to do anything besides nod.

It has been over two decades since you've left. Your badge would've dried and dampened a million times since. I've been told all sorts of lies. That you were a traitor. That you traded the army's co ordinates to get out. None of it has affected me. But the one thought that constantly affects me is if you've forgotten that there is someone on the other side of the border, waiting for you. There's someone you have to return back to.

The home you left is still in the same shape, to hold onto as much of you as possible. I return to Kashmir only during the winter, because it is the only season which feels like home here. Because it is the only season I got to spend with you here. I try to replicate all my sarees to the ones you loved best. I still hold onto every little piece of trinket you brought me.

I will always regret not stressing on the fact that you have me, forever. And I need you too, forever. Will always regret that I couldn't let you know that in every lifetime, in every universe, I will choose you. That tommorow if you are Majnu I will call myself Laila, if you are Krishna I will name myself Radha. But for now you're Ram hence I will be Sita.

Yours, Sita

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This was a force writing sesh to get myself out of my writers block masked laziness ;)

15 years after receiving Ram's letter (3rd pov)

Kashmir, to most, is a paradise, a place where every corner whispers beauty. But for Sita, it was more than that—it was home. It was the place where she had precious moments with him, where every sunrise and sunset seemed to mirror the love they shared.

The mountains, the lakes, the air—they hold memories of laughter, quiet conversations, and love that feels eternal. In every inch of this land, she still feels Ram with her, making Kashmir a piece of her heart, forever intertwined with him.

Fifteen years have passed since she received Ram's letter, but it feels as if it were just yesterday that she ran away from Hyderabad to be with him. She still felt the exact moment when he looked at her, with a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, and asked, "I’m not an orphan anymore, right?" At that moment, every part of her screamed to tell him that she would choose him, again and again, without hesitation, no matter what the world threw at them. That in every life, in every universe, Sita would choose him. But those words, heavy with love and longing, stayed trapped in her chest, never leaving her lips.

All she could do was hold him, trembling, afraid that if she let go, he would vanish from her arms forever. His warmth, his presence, felt like the only thing that mattered, and in the silence between them, she could feel the weight of everything they couldn’t say. Even now, Sita carries that moment with her, a bittersweet memory, the promise she never voiced echoing in her heart. And it hurts, knowing that some words, no matter how much they are needed, are never spoken.

She came here every winter to relive the memories of her and Ram, to hold onto the love they shared during the limited time they had.

Sita sat on a chair in their house feeling the cold, serene wind of Kashmir around her. Wrinkles decorated her face and her eyes held the same spark she had.

As she admired the breathtaking view, her fingers subconsciously traced the contours of Ram's badge, the same one she had desperately asked him to bring back before it dried. The memories flooded her—the laughter, the quiet moments they shared, and the unspoken promises they made. That badge, worn and faded with time, held more than just a symbol of his presence. It carried the weight of her heart, of a love that had once been so tangible, so alive. And as she clutched it, she could almost feel him beside her, as if the badge still held a piece of him, a piece of their time together.

Now all she does is wait, wait for death to take her like an old friend, To the same place where her Ram is. To a place where they would be able to live their love a little longer than they did here.

1) Mrunal Thakur as Sita Mahalakshmi from Sita Ramam (2022)

2) Sai Pallavi as Rosie from Shyam Singha Roy (2021)

3) Anushka Shetty as Devasena in Baahubali 2 (2017)

Having banger songs in both Tamil and Telugu