#siriusly

More DR self-indulgence.

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Pt 1:

“He paused, thinking about it. “You know, it’ll cause quite the scandal if word got out we had a child out of wedlock, love.” 

You rolled your eyes, but smiled. Maybe it was a little fun to play along. It couldn’t go too far, could it? Famous last words. 

“Wouldn’t want a Black heir to be born outside the sanctity of marriage.” You were pretty sure purebloods lived by puritanical, ancient thoughts such as this. “Our poor son, a bastard.” 

“No need to fret, dove,” he took your left hand in his. “We will simply have to conceal his existence until such time as we are wed.” 

What did you just get yourself into?” 

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A grand public display is what you unintentionally signed up for. Sirius had taken to your plant baby quite well and to taking the joke of you two having a child together a little too, well, seriously. It was a constant joke that he and James got endless amusement out of. 

You went along with it at first, and you still did in class, but he was taking the joke to a whole new level. When you really weren’t in the mood for it, though, you just ignored him. It was a pretty childish way of handling the situation, but you knew from past experience feeding into it never helped and you were trying to think of the best way to get him to stop. 

There was no way anyone would ever get it out of you, but you were actually...enjoying it. Sirius was funny and he was taking full advantage of the opportunity to be closer to you. He actually could be quite sweet, when he felt like it. Checking in on you to “ensure the health of my beloved child’s parent,” until you would shush him and say he wasn’t supposed to let anybody know about the baby. 

Then he’d take your hand and say, “Not yet anyway,” with a wink. You were scared to know what he meant by that.

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A proposal. A proposal is exactly what he meant by that. You two were far from legally old enough to marry at that point (something you thanked whoever was listening for) as Sirius took things to a whole new level. At this point you began to wonder if he actually would marry you for the sake of the joke. He was stubbornly dedicated to it.

He had invited you to the Gryffindor common room as he had been doing more frequently now that you two were getting closer. You hadn’t thought anything of it until you were barraged with bright confetti and “Will you marry me?” written with magic in the air as if created with sparklers. Sirius was on one knee with a nice looking ring and all the older years were looking at you two like it was the most adorable thing in the world. 

Fool that you were, you said yes. 

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Being “engaged” wasn’t that bad. The only real downside was Sirius now considered you two best mates. He was constantly finding you wherever you were and pulling you into whatever he was doing with his friends or inserting himself into what you were doing for some “quality time.” You still weren’t entirely sure where he was going with this but you kept telling yourself it was all a big joke you were going along with. 

And it was a nice ring. Old looking, too, but Sirius had clearly had it cleaned until it shone and eventually you recognized it as one of the rings he practically never took off: a moonstone ring that looked pale white or bright blue depending on the light, set in a pretty silver. Sirius’s fingers clearly weren’t the same size as yours so he must’ve had it altered somehow. Magic was your best guess but with how dedicated he was to this “joke” it wouldn’t surprise you if he had somehow got it physically altered. 

You wore it. Say what you would, and you did like to remind him you two weren’t actually able to get legally married, he still called you his fiance and you still wore the bloody ring. It was a nice ring, and you figured once this joke was over you would hand it back (or if the joke went too far). You were beginning to wonder how exactly this joke was going to come to an end, if ever. 

And then it happened. You had more recently begun making friends with the Gryffindor girls in your year seeing as you were spending a lot more time with the Gryffindors in general. It provided a much needed break and an easy out from “quality time with your fiance.” 

“You know, I think he’s taking the joke seriously,” Lily finally said. You two were already well aware of each other given you both avoided the marauders starting first year, even if that had since changed for you. 

“He doesn’t take anything seriously, despite the name.” You said, but glanced over along with the other girls. Sirius was positively beaming as he and the guys looked over something. He looked over, met your gaze, and winked.  

“I think he likes you,” Mary argued. “A lot.” 

“No way,” you countered but you didn’t have much evidence that was recent, from before you and him had started being partners for that project. You were even beginning to wonder if some part of him meant it. An actual being "promised" to each other until you were old enough to actually get married. But that was ridiculous. Still.... 

Remus shot you a pitying look as Sirius got up. Remus had clearly felt bad for you throughout all this and had been trying to check in on you whenever he could get you away from his friends. You assured him you were okay with all the joking and you were having fun with this. Remus was the one thing convincing you Sirius couldn’t possibly mean this as more than a joke. If anyone would know and would try and warn you, it would be him. 

Sirius strolled over holding some bits of parchment. You told yourself it was probably nothing but he looked a little too pleased as he handed them over. “Of course you’re all invited. Please let me know if you need more for your friends, dove,” he said, winked at you again as he returned to join the guys again. 

Think about it

Think hard

i’m not a huge fan of any of the ships sirius is usually involved in, but in my opinion—sirius is simply too…broken to even THINK about having a romantic relationship. he’s on the run from the Ministry, he’s just escaped after 12 years of literal hell on earth—only to be trapped in the house of his traumatic childhood; not to mention he has to deal with the fact that the entire Order and one of his close friends wholeheartedly believed he was a mass murderer and that he would really betray james.

oh, also—it was his idea to switch secret keepers. something totally non consequential that would have nooooo effect on him in the presence of magical creatures designed to dredge up your worst memories and torment you with them xD

at this point, harry really is his only purpose in life. and he can’t even focus on THAT properly because of how absolutely miserable he is.

sirius black is such an interesting character, and part of the appeal to me is just how doomed by the narrative he is. for all intents and purposes, sirius also died on that terrible night in 1981. he has no prospects, his entire life was stolen from him, and he can’t even fulfill the one purpose he has anymore because he was so intensely fucked over twelve years ago. his entire life, his escape AND his death…was just…pointless. and that’s so fucking tragic it makes me want to curl up and die. and also read a million fics about the short period of time he DID have with harry.