#singerjensen

‘don’t come out, it’s still too soon’, whispered the frost to the bravest leaves, already spreading their green arms. ~ ‘but how else would we know what awaits us if we don’t go and introduce ourselves? this way at least the winter will know us when she comes to pick us up, and her touch will be gentle and comforting. ~ if we meet our fears, then there’s nothing to dread - the unknown is the only true threat to our peace.’

angels are watching over you, mary whispered to her little boy. * but she knew the heaven was deaf and blind to her prayers, so instead of an angel she gave dean a little brother; and they watched over one another until the very end.

do not tell me I can’t remember past just because these eyes I currently wear didn’t witness it. * I am dust, remnants of the stones of my birthplace. I an rain, falling and rising and falling again, giving life where there’d be none instead. * my laughter is the laughter of stars once young, and my dreams are dreams of hundreds, thousands that were before me. * do not tell me I am too young to remember: * I am of this earth and of this universe, and just because I choose to be young and live in now, doesn’t mean the paths I’ve never seen don’t whisper to me.

the skies will begin to break down and the migratory birds will forget to move, bewitched by your reborn smile. the sun will shudder for a moment and I’ll break, just a little, just for a moment. ~ when you return. ~ it will make sense then, this scream running through my veins, rushing to the surface, exploding in the squeeze of my eyes as well as that of my arms, both unwilling to let go ever again. it will make sense, then. ~ right now there’s a train churning its way through my stomach, and my throat can’t let loose the wild animal from within - it would do nothing but hurt, lonely and half-crazed. ~ but when you return, ~ we will feast and flood the streets with tears and fears finally relieved. so I can do nothing but hold on, and imagine all that’ll be when it finally happens. when you breathe life in me once more. ~ when you return. ~ [hurry home]

blink. ~ there’s a car and something’s not right, she hasn’t been that young in ages, but then the boy shows up you and you light the skies together and you understand. it’s your destiny. your salvation. your endgame. ~ blink. ~ there’s a home, the last home with the actual roots you remember, and there’s a woman, and you’re allowed to be a child again. you look the boy in the eyes and wonder how were you ever so innocent. you wonder just what is in your blood that’s damned. ~ (could you bleed it out?) ~ blink. blink. blink. ~ it’s not your blood. no. it’s your whole existence - all you ever wanted was to love, to have home and someone by your side, but that someone wanted a different home, different someone. he’d had different love to offer you. (the right kind. the Right kind.) ~ damned, it whispers to you. damned. and it’s not only you, it’s the whole place, filled with possibilities that’ll never be yours. ~ heaven, they call it. ~ you kinda preferred hell - there was no light in it in which the shadows would hide.

watching you leave, I could do nothing but keep quiet. while my hands trembled and my heart shook in its box, I could do nothing but keep quiet. although I’ve seen the way you look at me, * how did you think I wouldn’t notice when I notice your body changing even before it happens? how could I not notice your wandering hands, always a moment too long kept on mine, your body, always a touch too calm under mine, * the way you orient not by the sun or the north but by me? * and I could do nothing but keep quiet. * didn’t you see how weak I was, how weak I still am, how completely spineless I become whenever you whisper my name? * but you also wanted normal, you wanted home [wasn’t I home enough?], you wanted anything but this surname. you wanted the meadows at midnight, but you also wanted a warm embrace of the still strong afternoon sun - they just aren’t meant to go together. * so I did nothing but kept quiet, while you took my heart and my home on your way to tomorrow.

Your new icon is gorgeous!

take a bite out of my back - who knows when tomorrow will come and if it’ll be equipped with a warm meal. if the end is near, I’m proud to be your last supper. all of me belongs to you anyway, and when have I ever left you hungry? * [cannibalism? haven’t we been taking parts of each other since forever? * labels aren’t doing anything but trying to stereotype us, but I’m afraid we were never good at conforming to the standards.] * make a feast of me; let’s celebrate what time there’s left for us the best way we know - exchanging flesh and blood. take a bite out of my back, I’ll bite the smile from your mouth, and we’ll wait out tomorrow sated and calm, whenever it comes.