#simon kelleher

The kisses are light this time, just slow movements, but even those seem to affect Simon greatly. He pushes me lightly, and I push myself onto my hands and look down at him. 

“What's wrong?” 

“Just, can we take a break.” He sounds weary.

“Why?” I know why, I can feel it as well as see it. But teasing Simon is easily one of my favorite things to do. He crunches his nose at me.

“What, do you not want to stop? I know I’m an amazing kisser.” He jokes back at me, one of his hands goes to my thigh, I feel his thumb rubbing against my jeans. 

“Maybe I don’t. I guess it’s such a crime to enjoy kissing my boyfriend.” He laughs at me, but I roll off of him onto my back.

He rolls to his side and looks at me. “What do you want for Christmas?” He’s back on this again. 

I sigh at the question, he’s been asking me for two weeks now. With the holiday soon coming he’s been going all out, having already gotten Janae and Maeve plenty of presents and treats.

“The same thing I wanted the last time you asked, and the time before that, I just want to be with you.” As corny as it sounds it’s true. Christmas is just another holiday where I’m left feeling alone again, having Simon around helps more than he can know. 

Simon is not at all satisfied with the answer.

“I’m not that great, so you’ll need to tell me soon so I can get you a real present.” I laugh at him, he’s now leaning on his elbow looking down at me.

“You’re amazing, the only thing I want is to just spend some time with you okay?” If I were being completely honest there is something I want from him. I want to go further, all we’ve done since Thanksgiving is make out and then once he gets hard we stop. I know he’s trying to be considerate but I want more. 

But I can’t tell him that, the embarrassment would kill me.

“What about you mister? What would you like?” 

“I’m gonna copy you, I just want to spend the day with you.”

“Cheater, only I can ask for corny things, I did it first.” He laughs again. “Well then maybe I’ll give you myself for Christmas, wrap myself up huh?”

Simon is silent at that, a bit a flush still on his skin. “You wouldn’t have to.” Is what he says.

That was days ago now, my plan is in full action. Simon is going to come over Christmas Eve, my brother working again that day. It’ll be perfect for us to get alone time, Janae has been all a flutter over this whole thing. 

She said she feels like a ‘proud mother’, watching her kids grow up. I just shook my head, I couldn’t have anticipated Simon's mood though. Just like before Thanksgiving he’s been grumpy and short tempered, and again it’s because of his mothers expectations.

We’re alone at lunch today, Janae and Meave off doing something together.

“You okay?” He has this pensive look on his face, he’s watching everyone in the cafeteria intently.

“‘M fine.” He mumbles out, I reach for his hand on the table and grasp it. 

“You’re so not fine. You look like you’re trying to route an escape plan.” He huffed a laugh, the first one I’ve heard all day.

“I just hate this shit, everyone here is so fake. They all think this is the best part of their lives, like this school is where they are their best. I just wish we could leave it all, just be free of this shit.” He’s been cynical all day, so the mini tangent doesn’t shock me, I just put my hand on his.

“Only one more year Simon, then we will be.” I try, but he just scoffs at me and takes his hand away, I try to mask the hurt I feel at it. I turn my attention to the room then too, watching everyone else have fun, laughing with friends at tables all around us.

“Are you worried about your mom’s party?” He looks down at me, I see his jaw jump and it confirms my suspicions. “I could go with you?” He sighs and puts his face in his hands.

“No, we talked about this already. I don’t want you there, because then I’m forced to show off another thing. So that I’m forced to be this perfect version of myself again.” He practically spits it out. “It’s already such bullshit, I’m not gonna do this with you.” 

I can’t deny how his words sting. “I was just offering to help, Simon.”

“Well it doesn’t really help.” He says, and I feel like I’ve been doused in ice water. 

“You’re being an asshole.” I spit back at him, the bell rings before he has the chance to say anything and I leave him there. The entire rest of the day I feel livid, after my last class I see Janae by the cafeteria.  She bounds over to me, all high energy.

“Are you pumped? Only a couple day’s left till you can seduce your boyfriend.” 

“My boyfriend is being an asshole, so no I’m not really pumped.” She deflates in real time.

“What happened?” I tell her about lunch, and she looks just as pissed as I feel. “Well, what are you going to do?” She asks, and frankly I have no idea what I want to do.

“I’m going to see if his car is still here, we just need to talk. And hopefully he’s calmed down since lunch.” I bid Janae goodbye, and nervously walked out the building.Talking to Janae had taken some time, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d left without me. 

My heart is going about a mile per second as I make my way to the parking lot, scanning the lot I see his car, with him standing next to it.

“You’re here?” He looks puzzled almost. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because I was an asshole to you.” I tilt my head a little frowning at him.

“That doesn’t mean that I won’t be here Simon.” He looks emotional, then he clears his throat and gets in the car and I follow. 

“I’m sorry.” He says once we’re in the car. I look at him, he looks sad, like he had that day in November. 

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have called you an asshole.”

“I deserved it.” 

“You can make it up to me then, by coming over on Christmas Eve. Then I can give you your present.” He laughs and agrees. He drops me off at home before having to go back home himself.

The next couple days feel hectic, getting myself ready for having him over, while he is dealing with helping his parents prepare for their party.

It’s time before I know it, and me and Simon are yet again laying in my bed. I’m wearing the same outfit as Thanksgiving, and he’s kissing me. Heavy just like he had on Thanksgiving, and it all just feels right. 

I weave my fingers into his hair, and I tug like I had that day. He backs away from me, but my fingers are still in his hair keeping him close to me.

“I don’t want to take a break today.” I whisper against his lips, and he groans. He puts his head into the nook of my neck. 

“You can’t say things like that.” 

“Like what?” He brings his head back up to look into my eyes. 

“Things that make me frustrated.” 

“You mean hard?” He groans again, I huff a little laugh. 

“That’s just not fair.” He groans out into my neck.

“What isn’t?” 

“That you can always know when I’m hard, but I never know if you're feeling just as frustrated.” I laugh, and he just looks annoyed. “What could possibly be funny about this?” He sneers out.

“Simon, I'm always ‘frustrated’ when we do this. Every make out session leaves me feeling like putty.” I admit to him, he just looks shocked. “Thanksgiving was the worst, you were all over me, and then you made that sound when I pulled your hair and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days.” I ramble to him.

“So don’t think this is one sided, I’m just as turned on as you are when we’re doing this.” The confession sparks something in him, before I know it he’s kissing me again. It’s rough, and he gets closer to me.

His hand which was on my hip slips to my thigh, and he tickles them under my shorts. It feels like my skin is on fire, the heat I’m feeling in my gut, he leaves my lips to go down to my neck. His lips on my neck distract me from his hand getting higher and higher up my shorts, I jump a little when I feel his finger at the waistband of my underwear.

“Is this okay?” He whispers, his head coming up from my neck. He looks desperate.

“Yes.” My response is immediate, my own hands going to my shorts to tug them down. He sucks a shaky breath in once they're off, I’m left in just my panties and shirt now, I should feel exposed I think. But Simon’s gaze is intoxicating, his pupils blown, heavy breathing.

He puts his hand on my hip, I can see him straining against his pants. 

“This doesn't seem fair.” It slips out, and he’s snapping his head to me. “I mean, I’m all exposed.” I get to my knees in front of him, we’re nearly eye level. “I would like to even the score.” He smiles, but jerks a little when I put my finger through the belt loop of his pants.

“You're a tease.” He pants out, he watches me shakily undo his belt. 

“Is this okay?” I ask him as I have my fingers on the button of his pants.

“Yes.” It comes out shaky, his breathing is harder now. I undo the button and take the zipper down, it’s now I realize that I’m breathing just as hard as he is. I look up at him, we lock eyes, then he’s kissing me again. It’s a pleasant distraction from my own nerves, his hands are back on my hips as he holds me close.

I take the chance to slip my hand into his pants, his response is immediate. A strangled sounding groan leaves his mouth against my own, his hips jerk as I palm him. He’s hard, and it feels different than I thought it would have, much much better than I could have imagined. He’s panting against my neck as I rub him, he slips his hands to my behind and grabs it, the hum I let out makes his hips jerk again.

I move the one hand not in his pants to his chin, I force it up and kiss him again. The action does something to Simon, he takes his hands to my stomach and pushes me back down onto the bed, my hand slips out of his pants. He looks down at me, and after he rids himself of his pants he’s back on top of me. He’s between my legs, his hands on my sides, and his lips all over my own.

One of his hands moves down to my underwear, when he finally skims his fingers over me I gasp against his lips. He presses his pointer against my center, and it makes me squirm and I can feel how wet I am as he presses again. The first stroke he does lands against my clit, and the sound that comes out of me is light and airy against his lips. 

He pulls back to look at me, his eyes look over my entire face then to my torso, finally to where his fingers were on my underwear. I look at him as well, my eyes land on his member which is twitching against his own underwear. 

“What do you want?” He asks, one of his hands on my hip with the other on my knee which is resting against his thigh. 

“I want you, I want you to keep going.” His grip on my hip grows tighter and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I want to touch you too.” I add on, and he looks like he’s about to combust when it comes out.

“You’re not being fair.” He breaths out, his eyes are still closed tightly. I shift out of his grasp and grab his shoulder to push him down, now he’s on his back and I’m looking down at him. He opens his eyes finally, and for a minute we just stay there like that. I break first, with my hands going down to him again, his breath hitches and I palm all of him. He’s still in his button up shirt, I undo the buttons one by one, and once it’s all done I help him shrug it off. His chest is smooth as I run my hands down it, I rest my palm on his chest, I can feel his heart beating.

The rhythm is fast and erratic, his chest is heaving up and down, it gets worse when I lean down to kiss him. Starting at his neck and working my way to his collarbone and chest, when I glance up at him he looks dazed. I sneak my hand into his briefs and I can feel the vibrations of the sound he makes against my lips on his neck. It tickles my lips and I graze my teeth against his neck, he feels better in my hand. He’s hot, I can feel him twitch, and feel his hips jerking as I move my hand on him. 

When I kiss him again he moans on my lips, and It shoots right through my own core. We stay like that, kissing each other while I move my hand over him. His hands are in my hair again, gripping me close to him, and with a particularly deep groan he’s pulsing in my hand, with something sticky over my own hand. I pull back from his face and watch him, he’s panting, and his hips are still moving against my hand.

When he stills I take my hand away from him, and look down at my hand. My fingers have him smeared on them, the sticky white substance. He finally opens his eyes and looks at me, I’m still breathing heavily where as he seems to have calmed down, the look on his face makes my heart skip a beat. It’s something soft, something loving, and he’s back in my hair pulling me down to meet his lips. This time the rhythm is slow, nowhere near the erratic kisses like before.

He moves me to my back and he’s back on top of me, his hand this time traveling inside of my own underwear. And the feeling of his fingers against my bare core brings a gasp out of me, he relishes in it, soaking it all in. He’s taking my panties off and I help him get them down my legs, he moves to my shirt. I take it off for him, and again he looks starstruck as he looks down at me completely bare to him.

His eyes are everywhere on me, from my chest to my core. He comes back to kiss me, his hand returning to my heat, his lips traveling down to my neck and further down my chest. When he kisses my chest I arch, his hand comes up to my chest then, he’s grabbing at me, the feeling mixed with his fingers on my clit send me on fire. His fingers graze my entrance and he looks into my eyes.

“Please.” I all but whimper it out, and in seconds he’s pushing his fingers inside of me. Anything I felt before is nothing compared to how he feels inside of me. A moan wrangles out of me and Simon continues to pump his finger, he comes back to my chest and I feel him around my nipple. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt, the pressure finally breaking in me, my hips moving on their own. It feels like an out of body experience, as it all breaks and I say Simon’s name over and over again. He moves his finger quicker than, kissing my neck and grabbing my hips with his other hand.

When I finally catch my breath he moves his finger from me. I feel like jelly as I lay there with him still on top of me. 

“This wasn’t my original plan, it was supposed to be more romantic.” He lifts his head to meet my eyes. “I was going to excuse myself, then come back literally wrapped in a ribbon.” He registers my words, in seconds he’s laughing. 

“That was your plan?” He’s still laughing, and I feel embarrassed. “That’s adorable.”

“Laugh all you want, but it was the only thing I could think of to get you for Christmas.” He’s looking down at me with a fond look on his face. “You're kind of a hard person to shop for.” I joke with him.

“Am I now?” I nod at him. “If I’m hard to shop for then you’re impossible to shop for.” He moves off of me and leaves the room. I take the opportunity to at least grab my shirt. When Simon comes back he has his bag in his hands, he’s digging into it and he pulls out a little wrapped box.

He hands it to me, I narrow my eyes at him and start to open it. It’s a bracelet, with two paw pendants on it. It’s perfect, I run my fingers over the jewelry and look back at him, he looks nervous, as if I might throw it back at him and end this all. I lean in and kiss him instead, and he returns the kiss. 

“You know it’s really not fair, you got to keep your underwear on.” I smirk at him, he looks bewildered.