Bird: Ask me why I love you. Raven: Why do you love me, Birb? Bird: *pulls out a 200 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.
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Bird: Ask me why I love you. Raven: Why do you love me, Birb? Bird: *pulls out a 200 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

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Cloud: I hate being touched. Cloud: The last time I touched another person was in 1963. In hand-to-hand combat. Lavii: Bird is literally hugging you right now. Cloud: This means nothing.
Raven: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Bird: *violently studies* Fran: *violently draws* Blue: *violently sings* Lavii: *violently murders* Crow: *violently worries about the previous statement*
Bird: Well, it's time to move onto Plan 2. Flare: Plan B, you mean? Bird: That would insinuate I have only twenty-six plans.
Raven: *gets a paper cut*
Bird, under their breath: Haven't they suffered enough?

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Bird: If I was trapped in a room filled with tiny explosives and my only way out was to eat an entire apple, I would die.
Cloud: How the hell would you even get into that situation?
“A bird in the hand is worth nothing. Birds are not an acceptable form of currency.“
- Bird
Carol: I found this list of names of several politicians and randos, and mine is at the top. Perhaps a future prediction about my success as future governor?
(Five minutes later…)
Bird: Has anyone seen my list of “people to haunt if I die before my future bestselling novels make me into an eccentric but beloved philanthropist”?