i read fanfics about characters i like with sad music and cry over them as static grows and i get a headache again because i refuse to actually exist so instead i pretend i’m fictional and just cry over everything and listen to sad instrumentals all day all night
i wish i didn’t exist . i genuinely debate killing myself often not because i have a solid reason , i just want to be a fictional character and maybe if i died i could be
i know i’m supposed to talk abt this stuff in my google notes or wtv but like idk i wanna rip all of my skin off and get stabbed repeatedly i don’t wanna be alive anymore i hate it here
i constantly wanna go home but i don’t actually know where home is because i’m always in my room . i always feel weird and i constantly have a pit of guilt for idek what in my stomach at all times of the day
maybe i’m overreacting idk but i don’t wanna do this
idk maybe i’ll feel better later after i shower
