#shiverstep

Airpaw has graduated early, after moons of being diligent in his training and passing and early assessment, now named Airswift. He feels proud of himself, although he sees his sisters are somewhat jealous of his early promotion.

(Airswift, warrior, male, 11 moons. Charismatic.) (Redstar, leader, female, 80 moons. Strict.) (Deerpaw, apprentice, female, 11 moons. Righteous.) (Cottonpaw, apprentice, female, 11 moons. Bold.)

Wanting to keep the peace, he pads to up his sisters and says that he's really sorry they're not with him. He points out that Redstar and Riversnow were in the medicine den for a while, and that didn't help their training. Cottonpaw perks up upon realizing that, saying they'll get there eventually and congratulates Airswift, but Deerpaw just stares at her paws.

(Airswift, warrior, male, 11 moons. Charismatic.) (Deerpaw, apprentice, female, 11 moons. Righteous.) (Cottonpaw, apprentice, female, 11 moons. Bold.)

Blackpaw is apprenticed to Riftgorse, and Shadepaw was apprenticed to Perchwatcher. Both young cats seemed competent and eager to teach, especially Perchwatcher, and Riftgorse's outgoing personality might help Blackpaw feel more confident in herself.

(Blackpaw, apprentice, female, 6 moons. Insecure.) (Shadepaw, apprentice, male, 6 moons. Competitive.) (Riftgorse, warrior, male, 19 moons. Charismatic.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 16 moons. Responsible.)

And as for Nectarpaw - the molly hesitantly asked Redstar before the ceremony if she could learn to be a mediator like Olive. Redstar asks Olive, who happily agrees to take her on.

(Redstar, leader, female, 80 moons. Strict.) (Olive, mediator, female, 77 moons. Calm.) (Nectarpaw, mediator, female, 6 moons. Charismatic.)

...However, when Redstar, Barleywave and Olive had a chat over fresh kill, Olive made a passing joke about Redstar trying to play matchmaker with her daughter. Barleywave laughed, but Redstar is very confused.

(Redstar, leader, female, 80 moons. Strict.) (Olive, mediator, female, 77 moons. Calm.) (Barleywave, warrior, male, 50 moons. Playful.)

---

"Very subtle of you, Redstar. I didn't expect you to play matchmaker with my daughter."

Redstar lifted her head up from her meal, looking perplexed. A flicker of defensiveness passed through her until she saw Olive's warmhearted expression.

Barleywave was tending to the stew boiling over the fire, and he let out a mrrow of amusement. "Oh yeah! Good eye on that one, Redstar," he purred.

She paused for a second, before her blue eyes narrowed in confusion. "...What?"

Olive's ear twitched. She looked at her quizzically. "...Wait, was that not on purpose?"

"...I repeat, what?" Redstar emphasized.

Olive blinked back with surprise. "Oh! I'm so sorry. Did you not notice Riftgorse was always offering to join patrols with Perchwatcher? Really, he was always finding some kind of excuse to spend time with her."

Barleywave's whiskers twitched. "I thought you at least would've noticed Perchwatcher saving him chipmunks - he said those were his favorites and she's made sure to catch a few since then."

"...No?" Redstar's face scrunched. "Wait, how am I involved in this again?"

"Well, you gave Shadepaw to Perchwatcher and Blackpaw to Riftgorse. We assumed you did that on purpose," Barleywave replied.

Redstar looked at him blankly, still not understanding. Barleywave gestured vaguely and rambled, "Like, you know! Two apprentices will have to learn things together and all that, so their mentors will have to hang out together at the same time, and all that…"

"That's not what I had in mind at all."

Olive's whiskers twitched in amusement. "A happy accident, then."

Redstar sighed and rolled her eyes. She never understood romance.

---

Iciclepool and Hopechase have been sickeningly lovey-dovey all week, bonding with each other as they stand watch over their children playing.

(Iciclepool, queen, female, 77 moons. Ambitious.) (Hopechase, warrior, female, 103 moons. Playful.) (Hazelkit, kitten, male, 1 moon. Charming.) (Ghostkit, kitten, male, 1 moon. Shy.) (Mulberrykit, kitten, female, 1 moon. Quiet.)

Shadepaw got yellowcough, before passing it to Tree. Both are confined to the medicine den. Shiverstep offers to help groom a spot that's been bothering Tree, especially since they're sick.

(Shadepaw, apprentice, male, 6 moons. Competitive.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 52 moons. Ambitious.) (Shiverstep, cleric, female, 21 moons. Loving.)

---

Shiverstep was not feeling well at all for the past few weeks. Physically, she was fine. Mentally, she felt like the universe hollowed out her spirit.

Ever since she last saw Rootgrove at the Half-Moon Dome, she felt like she was just waiting for something bad to happen all the time, and it often did. Her greencough. The Gardener. Riversnow's injury. Her mother's stillborn kit. She didn't know what would happen next, and it made her anxious.

The only cat who seemed to lower her anxiety whenever they spoke, was Tree.

Tree was a kind cat. She was grateful for their presence in her life. Ever since she was an apprentice, Tree enjoyed the company of the medics. They liked coaxing answers to herb-related curiosities out of her and Windfur, and rarely rejected joining an herb-collection patrol. Tree became a regular presence near the medicine den, and Shiverstep enjoyed it. She eventually realized it meant a lot to her. Windfur and Brackenfreckle were reserved cats, and didn't do small talk. Shiverstep didn't realize how isolated she felt while working, and while others were certainly happy to speak to her, she felt like only her mother, and Tree really sought her company. 

Tree was always interesting to talk to - they always had a story to share. She loved new stories - and Tree always seemed to have one. It started small, during her time as an apprentice - they gave her brief fables they heard from their own family, and into her adulthood, they delved into more mature or complex subjects. She cherished them all. 

She remembered fondly teaching them one of her many nursery rhymes for the uses of honey, and after Tree jokingly butchered the melody and added their own lyrics, the two cats shared a genuine laugh. Tree purred, their whiskers twitching with mirth.

"Thank you for entertaining my constant curiosities, Shiverstep."

"Of course. You're always welcome to talk, Tree," she replied.

"I'm happy to hear it! I presume every medic is tired of my same old stories at this point."

"Oh, no! I enjoy them a lot." Shiverstep's tail raised high. "I always like hearing stories."

"And I'm glad to have a friend willing to listen to them," Tree answered with a purr. Shiverstep's heart swelled and her tail flicked, feeling a surge of excitement. All at once her thoughts were scattered - a friend. Did she have a genuine friend before? She blinked slowly at them, and for the rest of the day, she felt lighter. There was someone in the Clan who genuinely called her a friend - something, maybe, that she was missing.

She cherished her memories with Tree a lot. When Sparrowkit failed to be resuscitated, and those beyond StarClan didn't - maybe couldn't, in retrospect - respond, she held onto simple truths to grant her comfort. Her name was Shiverstep. The sun would rise in the morning. She was alive. And Tree was her friend.

Which is why she couldn't help but feel anxious when Tree caught yellowcough.

They only started showing symptoms shortly after Shadepaw. They couldn't make it five steps out of their den without coughing, prompting Windfur to confine them to the medicine den. Riversnow was relocated back to the warrior's den on strict bed rest, in order to prevent a sickness outbreak.

It wasn't too bad, at first. But both Tree and Shadepaw's symptoms worsened over two days, and it hurt to see them try and force their breathing.

Shiverstep was trying to keep a brave face. She set her clay teapot over a small stove she prepared in the corner of the medicine den. She hoped that hot steam would help relieve the sinuses of her Clanmates - a brew of lungwort and tea leaves would help. At least, she hoped. That's what helped with yellowcough, right?

"Wishing well, wishing well, I have a wish to wish you well, I need an herb, to tame a bug..." she muttered to herself under her breath.

"I need a sign, to cure the lungs?"

Shiverstep startled as she heard Tree rasp this flatly from their sickbed. They gave a slow blink in reassurance.

"Heard it from you before," they said simply. Shiverstep's ears flattened at how haggard they sounded. She felt a pain roil in her chest.

"You should be resting," she meowed.

"I am, though."

"Sleeping, more precisely."

"A bit hard to do that right this second," Tree replied. They turned away quickly before bursting into a brief fit of coughs. Shiverstep's heart tightened with worry.

"Are you okay?"

"Well, as okay as I can be," they answered before tucking their paws beneath them. Tree's tail flicked as they tried forcing air out of their nose. The sound came through restricted and taut. They groaned. "Appreciate your nose while it's working."

"I will. I understand the pain," she answered, remembering her greencough. Greencough affected her throat more than her nose, but it still blocked it for quite some time. With renewed eagerness, she returned to the boiling pot and grabbed a clay bowl. She carefully took a piece of leather cloth and draped it over the handle of the pot before grabbing it by the teeth and gently tilting it into the bowl.

"Making tea?" Tree asked.

"Yes," Shiverstep answered. She glanced at Shadepaw at the back of the den. The apprentice was asleep - a good thing, she thought. He complained for several hours about not being able to sleep without breathing from his nose. Now his mouth hung open, his body having surrendered to exhaustion. "I was going to offer some to Shadepaw, but he's sleeping now. Maybe later." Shiverstep gently put down the pot, and nudged the bowl of tea across the medicine den floor, until it was by Tree's head.

Tree slowly leaned down, but Shiverstep placed a paw on their forehead. "Oh! Be careful, it's very hot right now. The steam should be nice to inhale, though," she said with a small smile. Tree gave a grin in return, one that made Shiverstep's heart swell.

Tree rolled their eyes. "Yes, ma'am," they teased.

"Ma'am? Forgive me for preventing you from burning your tongue," she piped up. Tree let out a brief mrrow of amusement before placing their muzzle near the bowl's edge to breathe the steam. After a few moments, Shiverstep's tail twitched.

"Is there anything else I can do to help you?"

"Well…" Tree started, then stopped, their green eyes pensive. Shiverstep waited eagerly, but they shook their head. "No, nevermind. Not a good plan."

"What is it?" the cleric pressed.

"I think there's a mat next to my right ear, but it's really not a good idea for anyone to get near my face at the moment," Tree replied sheepishly. "I've been trying to find a way to get it out myself."

"I can help!" Shiverstep nearly jumped behind them. Tree recoiled away from her.

"Shiverstep, no, I'm sick. You'll catch this."

"Tree, I'm a cleric. It's my responsibility to help patients, even if it also puts me at risk," she protested.

"Shiver, come on, be reasonable. It's just one mat."

"Tree, do you remember the story of Finchquill?"

"Ah, don't start with that one," Tree groaned.

"But it's a good lesson! Sometimes a small sacrifice can mean the world to another," Shiverstep meowed. She tried to reach down, but Tree swatted her paw away.

"By that logic, I should make sure you're not sick, even if I have this annoying mat," Tree argued.

"Tree, I'm in the medicine den most of the day. Between you and Shadepaw, if I catch it, so be it. We have enough lungwort to last."

Tree hesitated. The tip of their tail tapped against the floor. "...You sure?"

"I'll make it quick, Tree. Promise," Shiverstep offered with a smile. After a few more seconds, Tree sighed, then brought their head back down to the steaming tea.

"Okay. Be careful," they warned.

She didn't need to be told twice. Shiverstep brought her paws near the back of their ear and searched for the mat. When she found it, she began grooming it out, gently passing her tongue across to dislodge the tangled hairs. Little by little, she used a claw to gently cut away the knots.

Tree seemed to relax, closing their eyes and finding brief rest. Shiverstep continued to work, allowing her mind to wander.

Tree was kind to be worried about her. But she wanted Tree to be okay. If this would help, she would do it.

…It was nice. Tree's fur was dense with the smell of pine, earth and river water. A slight tinge of campfire. Shiverstep's ears turned warm. Tree was…was like the memory of the forest around them. Despite the monsters out there, it still stood around them - tall and defiant. Stable. Strong. Even in leafbare, where the forest trees were silent and resting, there was the promise of return in spring. Tree was loyal to other cats. They protected Riversnow from Stone. They protected the camp from tendrils. They saved her from the Woodcrawler…

Shiverstep's thoughts went quiet as she kept working through the mat, until finally, she managed to cut it away completely. She gently pulled the mat out and threw it in their disposal basket. Softly, she said, "All done."

Tree let out a grunt, their eyes narrowed open. "Thanks. I appreciate it a lot, Shiver."

Shiverstep's heart thundered. "You're welcome."

"...So, think I can drink this now?" Tree asked, pointing their nose to the tea.

"Oh! Yes, it should be ready."

Shiverstep sheepishly tended to her herb stocks as she heard Tree gently lapping the tea.

---

Cloudthunder approaches Tree, gifting them with a meal made of their favorite prey. For some reason, Shiverstep feels a pang as Tree seems receptive to Cloud's gift.

(Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 54 moons. Loyal.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 52 moons. Ambitious.) (Shiverstep, cleric, female, 21 moons. Loving.)

---

After a few more minutes of silence, Shiverstep heard the sound of footsteps approaching from the outside. She assumed it was just Windfur, and kept minding her tasks.

She was surprised when, after the sound of the drying ferns parting, Tree spoke.

"Oh, Cloudthunder!"

Shiverstep veered around to see the pale grey and white warrior that had entered the den. The smell of roasted mouse and stew wafted from a small basket she carried in her mouth. Cloudthunder's copper eyes beamed. "Hi Tree. And you too, Shiverstep," she meowed with a small bow. "It's lunch time!"

"Oh, is it?" Shiverstep chirped, hiding her nervousness. She…she forgot.

"Yup! I know you're busy, so I brought you some roasted mouse, if you'd like. It has a hint of portabello," she said, putting down the basket and unravelling a small leather wrapping. Cloudthunder pushed it towards Shiverstep with a twitch of her whiskers. "You and Windfur are always getting lost in your work. You should join us next time."

Shiverstep's heart sank. She guessed she had been fairly stressed lately. She took a bite out of the mouse. "Thank you, Cloudthunder. I'll try."

"Good. I also brought some for Shadepaw, but it looks like he's sleeping," she said as she pulled another bundle of leather. Shiverstep gingerly took it and tucked it away from her herbs, near the tea kettle.

"I'll make sure he has some," she reassured.

"And for you, Tree," Cloudthunder lifted a bowl from the basket and pushed it over towards them. Tree brightened, their pupils dilated with curiosity.

"Oooh, is this a recipe of yours?"

"Oh, I wish," Cloudthunder purred, her tail twitching. "Barleywave was on cooking duty today, but Daffodilpaw helped! I requested a soup or stew using bits of vole today, just for you."

"Vole? My favorite, just for me? Aw, Cloud," Tree let out a brief purr, before being interrupted by a series of coughs. They looked embarassed, shaking their head out. "Oof! Sorry."

Cloudthunder winced. "Nothing to be sorry about, Tree. I'm sorry about your yellowcough, that must be awful. Figured this soup would help make it a bit more bearable."

"Ah, soup and tea, I'm a spoiled cat today," Tree joked.

Cloudthunder mrrowed in amusement before glancing at Shiverstep. "How's your stash of lungwort?"

"Um…fine. Windfur and I collected a lot of it before the frost started to set in," the cleric answered.

"That's good. Let me know if you need anything else. Snow might come in soon, I feel," she meowed. Shiverstep nodded. She turned away and decided to take a few more bites out of her food.

Tree practically slurped the soup they were gifted, causing Cloudthunder to laugh.

"Slow down there, Fleetfoot," the molly teased.

"And allow a gift from such a pretty molly go to waste? Be reasonable," Tree quipped with a wink. Cloudthunder's skin turned pink under all her fur, scoffing and batting away at the air dismissively.

"Oh, stop that, you know I can't swat at the sickly," she retorted, failing to hide a grin on her face.

"Great StarClan, whatever will you do now? I guess you'll have to tolerate my compliments," Tree chuckled.

Shiverstep slowly turned away, resuming her herb counting. She listened to Tree and Cloudthunder share flirty banter before they shifted to more polite conversation. Tree turned away to avoid spreading sickness, and Cloudthunder recounted recent events and procedure changes that were being considered. Tree congratulated Cloudthunder on her son's early graduation. Cloudthunder beamed with pride for her children.

Shiverstep slowly tuned the conversation out. Her heart sank. For some reason, her appetite went away. She stared at her half-eaten food and slowly wrapped it up, not wanting Cloudthunder to see it. Eventually, Shadepaw stirred awake from the noise, and Shiverstep gingerly gifted him the roasted mouse and a bowl of her tea. Shadepaw just glared at Tree and Cloudthunder in annoyance, as though wishing they would banter elsewhere. Shiverstep didn't tell Cloudthunder to leave, though. She…she made Tree happy.

Finally, Cloudthunder must've realized she dawdled too long. She wished goodbye to Shiverstep and Tree, her tail held high as she left. Tree curled up in their bedding, letting out a prolonged purr before eventually falling asleep for a sunhigh rest.

Meanwhile, Shiverstep felt her heart sinking. She felt…strange. Why did she feel almost…sad? She didn't get it.

Cloudthunder was a good cat. A pang of guilt coursed through her. Why did she feel like this?

After a few moments of numbness, Shiverstep hissed quietly to herself and shook her head. StarClan, what was wrong with her? Cloudthunder was just being kind to everyone. And yes, she spoke with Tree for a while. Why did that matter? Tree was a good cat to be with. She liked being with Tree, of course others would too. And, yes, sure, Shiverstep wasn't an ignorant kit - she knew what flirting looked like. Great StarClan, so maybe Tree had feelings for Cloudthunder! That was completely reasonable and totally fine, it's not like Shiverstep hadn't seen them act like this before. So why was she acting like she -

She…

Oh.

Oh no.

Shiverstep went outside and stared at a wall for twenty minutes. Brackenfreckle saw Shiverstep today but didn't get to say hello. Shiverstep seemed...busy.

(Shiverstep, cleric, female, 21 moons. Loving.) (Brackenfreckle, healer, female, 19 moons. Grumpy.)

---

Cottonpaw and Perchwatcher do their best to include Owlpaw. Owlpaw wants to just hide, but Morningspot said something dumb about effort, or trying, or whatever...

(Cottonpaw, apprentice, female, 10 moons. Bold.) (Owlpaw, apprentice, female, 7 moons. Adventurous.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 15 moons. Responsible.)

Cats in camp are taken aback when they see Owlpaw yelling at Perchwatcher before storming off. Perchwatcher seems stunned and Cottonpaw looks wary.

(Cottonpaw, apprentice, female, 10 moons. Bold.) (Owlpaw, apprentice, female, 7 moons. Adventurous.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 15 moons. Responsible.)

Morningspot scrambles to apologize to Perchwatcher for Owlpaw's beahvior. Perchwatcher is too embarassed to care.

(Morningspot, warrior, female, 22 moons. Nervous.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 15 moons. Responsible.)

Owlpaw is shocked when Morningspot isn't mad with her. Morningspot does, however, ask that she walk away entirely and tell her instead next time it happens. She also asks that she say sorry to Perchwatcher for yelling, when she's feeling less angry.

(Owlpaw, apprentice, female, 7 moons. Adventurous.) (Morningspot, warrior, female, 22 moons. Nervous.)

Riftgorse, Branchsnarl and Perchwatcher go on a hunting patrol together. The two toms comfort Perchwatcher for what happened in camp...but they do put something tactfully that Perchwatcher needed to hear.

(Riftgorse, warrior, male, 18 moons. Charismatic.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 15 moons. Responsible.) (Branchsnarl, warrior, trans male, 15 moons. Ambitious.)

Shadekit tried to come up with a plan to sneak out of camp with Blackkit. It's interrupted by Hopechase. Blackkit is secretly relieved.

(Hopechase, warrior, female, 102 moons. Playful.) (Blackkit, kitten, female, 5 moons. Shy.) (Shadekit, kitten, male, 5 moons. Unruly.)

By the end of the moon, Iciclepool goes into labour. The woods are successfully warded off, but...

(Iciclepool, deputy, female, 76 moons. Ambitious.) (Shiverstep, cleric, female, 20 moons. Loving.) (Windfur, cleric, male, 34 moons. Lonesome.)

----

It worked. They succeeded. They rebuilt their wall, prepared their torches, and circled the den. The tendrils ducked and weaved like stubborn scavengers desperate to pull meat from a mountain lion's catch, but the flames challenged their resolve. Still, they were desperate. Hungering.

Deerpaw and Riftgorse were bruised by the Living Tendrils swiping at their feet and wrapping around their legs. Morningspot and Cloudthunder had the torches knocked from their grasps, and both mollies resorted to biting into them and pulling away with all their strength. Airpaw drove a torch through the one his mother had grasped. Daffodilpaw joined her sister as she witnessed her stabbing the torches at the holes the tendrils emerged from, both cats trembling with adrenaline.

Two tendrils weaved through into the den. Before any cat could act, a wrathful caterwaul emerged from the nursery. There was thrashing and contorting, until one of the tendrils retreated like a terrified dog. The other let out an alien screech as it was pulled taut. It writhed and writhed, until the black, vengeful shadow that was Hopechase was practically dragged to the entrance. She dove her claws into it one last time, her single white paw painting itself black with their blood. Only when it hissed and pulled back with more ferocity did she finally let go.

It took a few more minutes for all the stragglers to finally determine their prey would not die easily, cutting their losses and retreating into the woods. Cats yowled with triumph.

By all accounts, they won. They succeeded.

So why, as they gathered around a small funeral pyre, did this still feel like a failure?

*******

Iciclepool had a bad feeling. Perhaps it was that gut feeling, that deeply-seeded fear that caused her to hesitate in stopping her duties and telling the clan about her pregnancy. It was so unlike her. When she was younger, she failed to stifle her joy at her past pregnancies. Cats gently warned her to lower her expectations - to no avail. Every single one of her kits were so loved and wanted. When Cliffstep was still by her side - oh, stars, she wished he was still here - she purred and spoke gently to them as she felt her kits shifting and kicking on occasion. She could count the sets of feet after a time, and know how many she would have. And Cliffstep was so loving, so attentive - curling around her and his future family with warmth and care.

None of them ever survived past six moons.

Shiverstep was all of her hope, all of her love she could never give to her children. She cherished every second the little kit curled by her side at night and padded after her in camp. She cried with relief as it hit her that finally, finally, nothing would take away her baby. Redstar wouldn't send her on a cruel trial. No tendrils would come. She could watch her child grow, and become such a beautiful molly. And oh, she did. Shiverstep was such a kind, beautiful, wonderful soul. Was it so wrong for her to have hope? To see another kit of hers grow up again?

She should've listened to Hopechase. Oh, stars, why didn't she listen? Hopechase voiced her concerns when Iciclepool told her what she felt. The look in her eyes made her feel so ashamed. She didn't want to tell the medicine cats. She didn't want them to confirm her worst fears. Hadn't she suffered enough? Was she wrong to hope and pray they would all survive this time?

Three. In the time she carried her babies, she felt at least three kick. But in total, in nights where she would press her paw around her stomach, thinking of names, she felt the round bundles curled against her. Four. One never stirred.

Hopechase and Shiverstep had been her only solace in the past few days.

"Everything will be alright, love. StarClan is watching over you. Cliffstep. Rapidpaw. Valleypaw. Your sister, and all of our lost friends and family. They want us to succeed. I know they must." Hopechase had looked at her with those bright blue eyes, with an intensity that mirrored a cloudless sky. "And I will defend our family with everything I have."

Separately, Shiverstep spoke with determined intensity. Bags formed under her eyes, but a glint of hope shone within them. "I promise, mom. I promise that nothing will happen to you. To them. I have help. From…from StarClan. Clanmates." It sounded like Shiverstep stopped her list short, a name on her tongue that she refused to speak. "We're going to be okay. If something bad happens, I'll find a way."

Only Windfur seemed to pierce through her soul, returning the dread Iciclepool felt.

"...I…I don't want to fail you," Windfur meowed, his voice tight. The implication weighed heavily on their shoulders.

"...It won't be your fault. Please…please don't blame yourself if it happens." Iciclepool's voice cracked. She felt like a wounded doe, desperate to hide her injury. She inhaled, froze her pain beneath a sheet of ice in her body, and straightened. "I've lost kits before. This is nothing new to me. I will survive."

"...I don't want you to have to."

"But I will."

And she did.

As she heard the yowling, burning and thrashing outside, as she felt her mate looming over the nursery entrance, as she met her contractions with familiarity and listened to Windfur and Shiverstep's guidance, she prepared. She heard Windfur call for Brackenfreckle to be on standby. The distant sounds of roots tearing through the earth and cats hissing echoed.

The first cried out. A grey molly.

The second did not. A brown molly. The noise outside accompanied her dread. Shiverstep was removing the liquid, drying the fur, her blue eyes intense as she rubbed it between her paws.

In the tension, she was forced to deliver the third. Windfur quickly removed debris near its face, and it screeched in protest. Iciclepool released a laugh of dismay. A black tom.

Shiverstep still worked. She gritted her teeth as her rubbing intensified.

"Shiver," Windfur began sharply.

"I'm fine," Shiverstep retorted, failing to hide her fear. She pried open its mouth to search for debris. "Come on. Come on. Please."

Iciclepool's heart was rotting. Burning. Falling off its tendons.

She barely registered her beloved mate screeching and throwing herself at tendrils that dared to approach.

Iciclepool bit down as a final wave of pain came to her. She whimpered. Windfur refocused his attention and quickly helped deliver the last. It let out a continuous set of mews, refusing to quiet until it felt its mother. A brown tom.

Windfur pressed around rapidly. "That's…that's it."

Iciclepool nodded. She curled around her newborn kits. She stared as she watched Shiverstep - her eldest kit - still trying to stifle life back into the newborn. The world around her spun and blurred. Cats yowled in triumph. Iciclepool saw her mate pad up to her with a shine in her eyes, only for them to dim as she saw Shiverstep trying to resuscitate a newborn. Windfur didn't step in to stop her. He just stared with an unreadable expression.

Time passed cruelly. Shiverstep's ears folded further back. Her eyes were wide with fear. Her breath quickened. She started mouthing something inaudibly.

Brackenfreckle entered boldly, looking at Iciclepool and her three healthy kits. Her expression fell as she looked at Shiverstep.

"...Is it…?" she started. She wisely decided not to finish her thought.

Shiverstep choked back a sob. She breathed air through its nose. She began small, rhythmic compressions on its ribs. Her mouthing became desperate whispers.

"Please. I call to you. I call to you. Please. Please."

"Shiverstep," Iciclepool whimpered, unable to bear her daughter's despair.

"Please," she repeated. She blew air into the kit's nose again, turning it over and rubbing its back rigorously. Her lips curled back and her teeth gritted. "Help. Help. I need…" She choked back a sob as her fleeting hope turned to despair. "What do I do?" she mouthed. She broke and pressed her head against the newborn kitten.

Iciclepool couldn't bear it. She stumbled to her weakened feet, despite Brackenfreckle's brief protest and her kits' whining. Shiverstep looked away as her mother approached her, and reluctantly fell apart as Iciclepool sadly dug her teeth into the cleric's scruff, pulling her towards the nest like one of her newborns. The young cleric sobbed, and Windfur reluctantly took the newborn away from Shiverstep. The marbled molly forced herself to her feet, following Iciclepool back to her nest - lest she were dragged.

Windfur's dark blue eyes were unreadable as he stared at the newborn. He started doing light compressions with his paw.

Iciclepool allowed her remaining kits to suckle, and she forced herself to purr with comfort as Shiverstep buried her head into her shoulder.

Her heart still withered.

Eventually, cats peered in, asking questions. Brackenfreckle uneasily tried to shoo them away. Redstar herself was getting agitated at being denied entry.

"Redstar, just…give us a moment. Please," Hopechase called back. The emptiness in her tone must've silenced the leader.

Iciclepool watched Windfur continue trying to revive her stillborn kit. His expression was like stone, but she knew that desperation roiled within him. She glanced at her mate. Hopechase held her breath. Refused to look at her. Shiverstep trembled, repeating strained and near-silent, "I call, I call, please, please answer," muffled against her mother's shoulder.

Iciclepool's copper eyes stilled. She bit back a wail as the memory of her past flashed before her. Every kit stolen by a tendril. Every apprentice trial Lakestar commanded on her children. Every baby she never got to see grow.

StarClan...Please...please let this be the very last one. No more. My heart can't do it again. I just can't.

Softly, she whispered, "Hopechase...let her go, love."

Hopechase objected meekly. "No."

"Hope."

"I can't." Hopechase stared at the stillborn kit in desperation.

"Honey. It's okay." She strained to place her paw on her mate's. It felt wet like mud. "Let her go."

After a time that felt like a thousand seasons, Hopechase's ears flattened, she closed her eyes, and dipped her head. Her voice trembled.

"...Sparrowkit?" The request was earnest and pleading, and Iciclepool failed to swallow the knot in her throat.

"Yes."

Hopechase lifted her head back up. "...It's okay, Windfur. Let her go."

Windfur ignored her, his pupils dilating.

Hopechase slowly rose to her feet, padding up to him with a lowered tail. "Windfur."

Nothing.

"Stop." The warrior placed her paw on his shoulder. Only then did the cleric slow his pace, before finally stopping. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, before gently putting her down.

Hopechase picked up Sparrowkit by the scruff, bringing her over to Iciclepool.

"...I can tell the Clan what happened, if it helps." Brackenfreckle offered. "...I'm sorry for your loss."

Hopechase breathed deeply. "Yes. Thank you."

As Brackenfreckle padded out, and Hopechase curled herself behind her mate, Iciclepool silently groomed her children - Shiverstep included, who still lay defeatedly by her side.

The mother felt conflicted as she stared down at her five children - one gone, one grown, three born. Her sorrow was like purifying rain over a burning forest; emollient. She gave a few, tender licks on Sparrowkit's head, her voice still trembling.

"Look after your sister for me, won't you, Rapidpaw, Valleypaw?" She inhaled sharply. "I love you. So much."

---

After a somber funeral, Hopechase and Iciclepool sleep in the same nest with their new babies, cherishing them and making silent vows to protect them forever. They give them names - Mulberrykit, Ghostkit and Hazelkit.

(Hopechase, warrior, female, 102 moons. Playful.) (Iciclepool, deputy, female, 76 moons. Ambitious.) (Mulberrykit, kitten, female, 0 moons. Quiet.) (Ghostkit, kitten, male, 0 moons. Shy.) (Hazelkit, kitten, male, 0 moons. Charming.) (Sparrowkit, female. StarClan cat.)

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