#shivcomplex

what a ray of sunshine you are, grey face. thank you so much ! only ten ?? i love all of my writing partners and the endless patience they have with my crazy, procrastinating, caffeine addicted-ass. -- but to eleven (my favorite number. screw ten) souls, i raise a glass.

"Y'lookin' for someone?" Jamie's got a water bottle in hand, half-empty. Sweat's matting his hair to his forehead, his cheeks are flushed red from a workout. That doesn't mean he's not about to be polite, though. Or, well. Try to be polite. The situation might be different if he were speaking to a man.

as always, that familiar voice and its ever - calculated tone send a jolt of electricity up paris' spine. they turn from the sink where they're fixing the cufflinks on their slightly too - big suit in time to catch shiv as she enters the room. it's the first time they've spoken directly to one another all evening . . . a pitfall that comes with pretending you barely know each other when really, you know each other a little too well. just this smidgen of attention obliterates any casualty paris was carrying with them, and they step up to meet her halfway.

❝ you really think so ? ❞ said with a quirk of their brow, as if to tease her. still, the earnestness in their voice betrays them, as does the way they run their hand through their hair. its been slicked back just for this occasion . . . some event with a wide enough reach that both shiv and SILK end up under the same roof. oh, how the world implodes. ❝ i tried to dress up. like, really dress up for once. doesn't come as effortlessly to me as it does to you, ❞

emily would like to lie to herself and pretend she's an expert at all aspects of socialization. there's a strategy to it. she's played other games of a similar ilk, controlled far more dangerous situations, so why should this be any different? this is easier. it should be easier. she's read books on making friends. she's read news articles on recent studies — studies on people her age and their ability (or inability) to make long term connections. so where does all that knowledge go when she talks to people like shiv? why does her mind go blank? why does she put on a face of comfort, and yet feel so confused and anguished inside? why does a conversation with shiv make her feel so messy, so flip-flopped all over the place?

" OH. . . GREAT TO SEE YOU, TOO SIS, " roman's eyes are already rolling. " you know, just straight fucking stoked to see my fucking sister dearest. " — a scowl drops across his lips, looking up at siobhan from where he was perched precariously on the floor. " always a ray of fucking sunshine, aren't we? "

his gaze raises, watching his sister — there was some semblance of fondness underlying the edges of his words, wasn't there? this was siobhan, after all. the two of them were connected in a way that the other roy siblings could never have. and shiv should know that. the years showed that, the steady, awful ticking of time.

" can't a guy relax in peace? jack off to the idea of people working for me? " he scoffs, attention shifting quickly back to the phone in his hand.

if kei wasn't mistaken, it was sartre who said that hell is broadcast television. the limelight was bad enough, but the makeup they used made him itch. at least his slot was mercifully swift, wherein he performed for a viewership of millions for the benefit of one logan roy. nothing to see here, purred the subtext; waystar has the full confidence of its asian partners, and by the way, did you know we're listed on the tokyo stock exchange?

once offstage, a skittish intern handed him something she claimed was coffee, informing him that the croissants laid out were fair game. kei thanked her in the full knowledge he would not be touching a single platter, and crinkled his nose when he drew his first sip. it tasted funny. maybe it was the water here.

though the guts of atn were a plausible place for a roy to inhabit, he almost didn't recognise one when she entered his peripheral vision. last time he saw shiv, she wore her hair long. maybe. either way, he updated the shiv of his recollection to incorporate a sleek bob and fitted suit, and deposited the cup to focus on catching her attention.