#shitty behavior

It's a family wedding. Sean and I are there together. It's my chunk of the family. Before this story begins, please know that dad's phone went off mid-ceremony, and it was a rooster crow, and my baby brother quipped, "Must be the dowry," and it was very, very hard to keep quiet enough to not cause further interruptions in the ceremony.

We manage it, and then there's about half an hour between the ceremony and the reception. It's all in the same space, so the bride and groom exit to get a little down time while the rest of us just chit chat and what have you.

There's a dance floor in the space. Very soon after the ceremony, a toddler starts running in a circle on the dance floor and yelling at the top of its lungs.

This was when I was still living in an area where "When are you having children?" was considered a reasonable question to ask a stranger and "you'll change your mind" was considered a polite way to answer my response of "literally never."

So, I'm fucking annoyed from moment one because toddler screaming is like an electric shock to my brain and I have already been through a few people asking about kids and doing the, "Oh, but you'll change your mind" when I told them I'm not having kids.

Just deal with it, I think to myself. When the reception starts, the kid will get pulled off the dance floor, and it'll probably fall asleep in five minutes.

The reception started.

The kid was NOT removed from the dance floor.

The kid kept screaming and running DURING the first dances. There was no sign of anyone stepping forward to get that kid off the goddamn dance floor.

"What sort of fucking rude person does this?" I hissed to my mother as Sean went to the bar to get me something fortifying. "It's the first dances! Why is no one getting that kid off the floor?"

"Honey, be quiet," my mother hissed in return. And, yeah, my voice carries, but it sure as shit was not carrying over the yelling kid.

"I will NOT be quiet," I replied, still hissing. "I'm not gonna make a scene, but it's fucking rude to not get that kid off the fucking dance floor."

"Excuse me," a woman says to my left, "that's my child."

She was definitely not expecting me to turn to her and say, full voice, "Then get him off the fucking dance floor. This isn't about your kid."

"GAYLE." My mother said.

"Excuse you?" the lady replied, absolutely shocked I'd called her on her bullshit. She'd been standing next to me for several minutes talking to other people. I'd assumed she was just another guest. Not the actual mother of this child who was not being supervised.

"Get. Your. Fucking. Kid. Off. The. Dance. Floor." I snapped. "It isn't cute to let your kid do this."

"GAYLE," my mother tried again even though there is no question she knows it doesn't work. Because it has never worked.

"Get him off the floor, or I'll do it," I said to the woman. "And you'll find out how rude I can be."

Kid FINALLY got pulled off the dance floor. Lady glared at me the rest of the night. I had a couple of people who had overheard me (including my mom) try to tell me I'd been rude, and I refused to bend.

"Seems ruder not to corral your kid during someone's wedding," I replied every time.

"And what about if it was your kid?" I got asked.

EVERYTHING SUCKS

in these days you can’t hide shitty behavior and getting proof of that type of behavior is beyond easy on social media with screenshots.

finding out about someone’s dark past used to be rare and only happened after they died and/or a victim comes forward

i read call out posts more and more and i’m honestly losing all hope for popular artists online

anyways i just want to say, i have blocked the creator of the black sun au and will continue to watch rottmnt but do not condone the actions of some of the crew members

i will never be like all these horrible creators 

i do make fanart for cartoons and adult fanart for the same cartoons but i tag, tw, and ban minors from interacting with my adult content. and i intend to keep my art accounts like this until the end of time

if something bad happens in a fandom i post about feel free to dm any call out post that come out (only one’s with proof tho)

I identify as (among other things) a feminist. I am guilty of being downright horrible to women, mainly throughout my teen years. TBH, it's a bit difficult to recount all the awful in one go, and to do so I think would trigger quite a few people I know. (And for those who use "trigger" as a joke, I'm using it in it's proper context here).

I say all this because I deeply regret it. Every fucking thing. I can explain it, contextualize it, whatever, but at the end of the day, it is what it is, and what it is is shitty behavior. If I could tell my dumbass teenage self to be better, I would. What I can say is that I understand what I did in the past was wrong, and no part of me can conceive of doing any of it again.

People can DM me if they want. If you feel uncomfortable around me, I understand. I just can't live with myself like this. I apologize for not being as wholesome as I appear to be, and I apologize for my shitty younger self.