I do not think I'm going to be able to make the anniversary update of Games of Divinity since it's really long/intricate/I don't want to rush it but here's Furina discovering RPF Imagine Fics for the soul.
Neuvillette could tell Furina's mood by her footsteps long before he could sense her emotions and the short, staccato of her heels on marble outside his door heralded the coming of a storm. Sure enough-
Bang!
Furina all but kicked down his door, slammed it behind her, and stood in front of it fuming for a moment.
"...yes?" Neuvillette asked, glancing over the top of his legal brief as he waited for Furina to calm down enough to give voice to her simmering rage.
"I would like to propose new legislation," Furina said, hand clenched around a flimsy paper booklet. "Regarding the production and dissemination of...of...pornography in this country!"
"...pornography," Neuvillette echoed flatly, watching Furina pace back and forth in front of his death. "And what sort of...pornography would you be referring to?"
"Only the sort that could morally bankrupt our country lead impressionable young ladies down the path of lurid vice!" Furina insisted, clutching the booklet in her fist. "I-I have discovered a brochure detailing all manner of inappropriate fantasies about notable public figures; figures of great power and dignity that should not be reduced to mere...titillation!"
Furina's face was crimson, but it seemed that anger wasn't the only cause. "May I see?"
"No!" Furina snapped, yanking the booklet away from him. "N-No, you just have to trust me; don't you trust me, Neuvillette-"
"You have used that particular trick on me too many times; I'm not falling for it again," Neuvillette sighed. "Has the...subject of these fantasies raised a complaint?"
"Well...no, but-"
"Is this something being mass-marketed and sold against the subject's will?"
"Not that I'm aware of, but-"
"Is there anything particularly slanderous or obscene about the text?"
"I don't know; you're the legal expert you tell me!"
"Then let me see it."
"No!" Furina hissed. "You must take my word for it that i-it is most...out of character."
"Out of character?" Neuvillette huffed. "Say no more; I will erect a guillotine in the city square at once."
Furina's eyes narrowed. "I should never have taught you to be sarcastic."
"Well, the villainy you teach, I execute," Neuvillette said. "It's about me, isn't it?"
Furina's wide-eyes told a story her stammering mouth tried to deny. "Y-You?! Ha...how silly. I-I'm sure you have your fair share of admirers like those...wretched women in the Iudex Enthusiasts Guild, but-"
"But coming down on a group of bored hobby writers is bad for publicity," Neuvillette said, rubbing his eyes. "You are already catching flak for that 'no pets shall be named after Lady Furina' edict you passed last month."
"Excuse me if I don't want to share a name with a pot-bellied pig!" Furina hissed. "Are you suggesting that you're fine with people writing all the intricate ways they want you to-"
Furina opened the book. "Softly nibble the corner of their neck whilst grinding against their-oh I can't read anymore!"
"So long as it isn't rubbed in my face, I think it's tolerable," Neuvillette shrugged. "Loathe as I am to paraphrase Rex Lapis, being famous means being the subject of gossip...some of it lurid, of course."
"Why did I even appoint you Iudex if you won't Iudex when I want to!" Furina huffed, throwing her hands up. "Fine! But when the population of this country plummets because people are too busy fondling themselves, don't come crying to me!"
"I promise I won't," Neuvillette said, watching Furina storm off and slam the door behind her.
"Imagine Iudex Neuvillette peeling the robes off his broad shoulders, his eyes taking in your form as you spread out on the bed as he says "Now I will show you what happens to impudent young ladies who misbehave in my court"...ugh, he would not say that..." Furina muttered, glaring at the pages of the pamphlet as she sat tucked up against the headboard of her bed. And yet, despite her muttered criticisms, she had pored over all three pamphlets she had found tucked in the seats of the Opera.
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..if I wrote a shitpost bookmultifandom fanfic inspired by Saiki K where Y/N is a regular person who ends up getting thrown into several universes (it'll be at least 10 for each book, key word each since I'll probably only write a second one if people like thr first one)—and all of the characters immediately fall in love with them upon seeing them and act ridiculous over them for literally no reason (and Y/N is very nonchalant, aware that the characters like them, but is tired, annoyed and just wants to be left alone and maybe to go back home—)—what should be the first universe Y/N goes to?/j
(This is a fic mainly meant to make fun of the silly nature of old Reader fics from the 2010s, specifically Wattpad ones.)
I see the remnants calling Cloud "Mother" and raise you "Cloud and Jenova role reversal au"
"Mother," Sephiroth purred, on his knees with his face pressed sideways up against Cloud's torso. His eyes were big and hazy and reverent, pupils blown so wide they seemed like fathomless black circles.
"Oh FUCK no," Cloud swore, trying to pry the silver-hair loon off of him. When his hands failed, he tried to use Tsurugi as a prybar. That failed too. "Does this mean my severed head is floating around somewhere?" Cloud bleated, pulling with all his might. "What did I ever do to deserve this!"
"Don't worry, Mother," Sephiroth cooed, and Cloud swore he was purring. "I won't let anyone take you ever again. We will be together forever."
Cloud screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Unfortunately, no one was around to hear him, Sephiroth refused to break his adoring embrace, and he didn't have the necessary range to perform the ol' one-two-manual-dimension-switcheroo.
He profusely thanked the universe two hours later when he was finally hurled away to the safety of a universe where Sephiroth immediately attempted to stab him.
If that Sephiroth was confused as to why Cloud was so overjoyed to be the victim of an attempted shishkebab-ing he didn't mention it.
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for a prompt- the ghost king is defeated bc he didnt heed the warning about stairs
Renny if it weren't for the fact we're related I would have murdered you years ago. The Cain instinct strong. Anyways. A shitpost. I'm just gonna let autocorrect have this for the hell of it.
This gets no readmore. Enjoy.
"I can't wait to be a huge piece of shit all day and ruin all these ghosts lives" pariah dark said, carrying a stack of bones belonging yo his skeleton army
But then sifflebt the ghost boy came up from behind in his ecto suit and tripped him
"CURSES I AM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE SYAIRS" screamed pariah dark
Danny phantom laughed like the little shitty teenager boy he was "I WARNED YOU ABOUT stairs PARIAH. I TOLD YOU DAWG!!"
Pariah tumbled and tossed down the seemingles unending stairs in his keep that existed for some reason
"IT KEEPS HAPPENING YOU BLASTED GHOST CJILD!!!"
Danny watched with a sadistic grin as the ghost tyrant continue to Tumblr down the stairs, crunching his old cronchy ghost bones as he went over and over.
"I told you man I TOLD you about the stairs!" Danny shouted as pariah dark rolled to a stop in his sarcophomogos of forever sneep
Daniel phaniel quickly pushed it closed as pariah screamed in pain and agony and vlad helped him lock the box of evil
Everyone of the ghosts clapped for the ghost boy, he felt his EXP go up and dinged to level 100 ghost king. Skulker have him a high five.
Characters/Pairings: Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Chen, Ziggy; Luka Couffaine x Marinette Dupain-Cheng
Rating: T / PG-13 / Teen
Summary: In which Ziggy is a sleep snacker and mistakes Luka’s bun for her favorite vegetable, or: the Identity Reveal no one in the Kwami Betting Pool saw coming.
Author’s Notes/Warnings: …there…y’all I don’t even know how to explain this one beyond *gestures at the LBSCers* MY PEOPLE. (Somehow, in no particular order, this is a Dammit Quick, Min, Laurel, and Toothless Me. 😂) Princess Heartmaker is being Difficult, so I ran with a shitpost plunny to shake it off. 😂
“…Ziggy Likes Broccoli”
It had started as an accident.
Or…well.
It was kind of an accident? It had originally started as a…not a punishment, not really. A…training method? Sort of?
Or…at least…the behavior or training or whatever that had led to the Incident in Question, which was an accident, was…a punishment. Years ago, back when Marinette had first found herself Guardian of an entire Miracle Box full of mischievous little kwamis who didn’t understand the basic concept of if I can’t trust you while I’m here how can I trust you when I’m not? and had resorted to threatening the kwamis with ‘yucky’ food like broccoli, which had only worked until a certain mischievous kwami realized she loved broccoli, which had led to the Miracle Box Time Outs, which…
…the point!
Her point.
The Incident in Question tonight – her boyfriend Luka waking her up in the dead of night because he was screaming and frantically batting at his head like he had fleas or lice or a kwami chewing on his hair – had all started well before she had asked Luka to move in with her.
