#ship:

The Doctor experiences agitation, an experience strongly related to anxiety and hypervigilance due to how it’s carried in the body. Ten shows it very often. (Audio: Pest Control, Audio: The Rising Night, Prose: Forever Autumn, Prose: Sick Building, Prose: The Pirate Loop, Comic: Agent Provocateur, Comic: Don't Step on Grass, Comic: Final Sacrifice, Comic: Ground Control, Comic: Sins of the Father, Comic: Old Girl, Comic: The Good Companion, Comic: Four Doctors, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Smith and Jones, TV: The Shakespeare Code, TV:42, TV: Planet of The Ood, TV: The Planet of The Dead & TV: The End of Time pt.1/pt.2)

We can see this agitation strongly in TV: The Sontaran Stratagem/Poison Sky in the way he bristles strongly at other people often being rude and dismissive to others, including Martha, until she proves herself not a soldier. His relationship to soldiers and Martha will be discussed in more depth later. 

The Doctor has very strong, deep, dysregulated  and overwhelming emotions, and Latimer can notice these emotions when he feels The Doctor’s consciousness:

“Latimer: Because I've seen him. He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun.”

(TV: Family of Blood)

One of these overwhelming emotions includes strong episodes of the fight response, anger, which is also related to the above-mentioned agitation. (Prose: The Last Dodo, Prose: The Pirate Loop, Prose: Peacemaker, Prose: Shining Darkness, Prose: Prisoner of The Daleks, Comic: The Weeping Angels of Mons, Comic: Old Girl, Comic: Revolving Door, Comic: Four Doctors, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: The Lazarus Experiment, TV: The Doctor's Daughter, TV: Journeys End, TV: Waters of Mars, TV: The End of Time pt.1/ 2 & TV: The Day of The Doctor)

The Doctor shows anger at the sisters when he thinks they hurt Rose:

“Doctor: And I'm being very, very calm. You want to be aware of that. Very, very calm. And the only reason I'm being so very, very calm is that the brain is a delicate thing. Whatever you've done to Rose's head, I want it reversed.”

(TV: New Earth)

The Doctor’s anger, along with grief, drives him to be able to save Lazlo:

“Doctor: just you watch me...Laszlo, just you hold on. There's been too many deaths today. Way too many people have died. Brand new creatures and wise old men and age-old enemies. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now, I am not having one more death! You got that? Not one.”

(TV: Evolution of The Daleks)

An example can be seen when he faced the Vashta Nerada. We see how his anger comes out when people he likes are hurt, even if he just met them:

“Doctor: These are their forests. I'm going to seal Charlotte inside her little world, take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts' content. Anita: So you think they're just going to let us go? Doctor: Best offer they're going to get. Anita: You're going to make 'em an offer? Doctor: They'd better take it, because right now, I'm finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all. You know what? I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. And she never gave in. And you ate her.”

(TV: Forest of The Dead)

Another strong emotional experience Ten has is depressive moods. (Prose: Wooden Heart, Prose: Forever Autumn, Prose: The Pirate Loop, Comic: Silver Scream, Comic: The Fountains of Forever, Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook, Comic: Music Man, Comic: Revolving Door, TV: Fear Her, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of The Daleks, TV: Utopia, TV: The Doctor's Daughter, TV: Waters of Mars & TV: The End of Time pt.2) A very common experience for people who have gone through deep trauma, a manifestation of negative self-beliefs and a freeze trauma response.

We can see an example of this in how The Doctor explains his life to Lazarus:

“Doctor: I'm old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone.”

(TV: The Lazarus Experiment)

We can see more of the depression in how The Doctor is described as :

"I have never seen a man look so sad and so angry before”

(Prose: Ghosts of India)

And he describes his own experience with how trauma affects him:

“Doctor: I've seen more suffering in my life than you could possibly imagine, but it never gets any easier"

(Prose: Ghosts of India)

We can see how Ten’s depression worsens over his life through the change between Ten’s conversations with Martha in TV: The Doctor’s Daughter:

“Martha: Yeah. And you'd think it'd get easier. All those things you've been ready to die for. I thought for a moment there you'd finally found something worth living for. Doctor: Oh, there's always something worth living for, Martha.”

(TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)

And then The Doctor’s lack of response to being asked if he has a reason to live. Showing how the depression has worsened over time, and the losses and trauma within this regeneration have started to catch up to him :

“Doctor: Jackson, you've got your son. You've got a reason to live. Lake: And you haven't?”

(TV: The Next Doctor)

A Judoon, The Doctor works with, once mentally described The Doctor: 

"Judon: Although he seemed uninterested in military matters, the Judoon was sure that there was some conflict in The Doctor's past ... There was sadness and a bitterness that just occasionally an observant viewer could spot."

(Prose: Judgement of The Judoon)

Gabby can see his depression in waves of emotion. (Comic: The Arts in Space) And can tell he’s old and has been through a lot. (Comic: The Lost Dimension)

We see a deep level of depressive emotions at the end of his life come through in his conversation with Wilf:

“Doctor: No one. Travelling alone. I thought it was better. But I did some things. It went wrong. I need [The Doctor starts crying.] Wild: Oh, my word. I'm sorry. Doctor: Merry Christmas. Wilf: Yeah, and you. Doctor: Look at us.”

(TV: The End of Time pt.1)

This combines with the later discussed guilt, but shows how much hurt overall The Doctor is carrying at this point.

Coming from an overlap of flight and fight, recklessness, freeze, depressive, and dissociative episodes, The Doctor can be suicidal. 

In TV: The Runaway Bride, we see The Doctor kill the Racnoss Queen and her babies and be stuck in his mind, and he stays there locked into watching what is going on. Donna has to break him out; we know he would be unable to get out and would have died without her. Showing a degree of suicidality as he was willing to die unless someone was there to pull him out, watching his own destructive behaviour was more important than anything worth living for.  (TV: Turn Left)

When faced with Daleks having killed an innocent man, The Doctor impulsively runs out in front of the Daleks, begging to be murdered to get them to leave the normal people to live:

“Doctor: Daleks. All right, so it's my turn! Then kill me! Kill me if it'll stop you attacking these people! Dalek 3: I will be the destroyer of our greatest enemy. Doctor: Then do it! Do it! Just do it! Do it!”

(TV: Evolution of The Daleks)

Later in another confrontation, The Doctor stands in front of The Daleks on the chair, setting himself up to possibly be killed if the Daleks had acted faster. (TV: Evolution of The Daleks)

When attempting to destroy the Sontaran ships he wants to be the one to use the device to blow up the ships, killing himself. It shows that he is reckless with his own life and willing to die. (TV: The Poison Sky)

When faced with saving the people in The Library, he wishes to save them and is willing to kill himself:

“River: Lux can manage without me, but you can't. (River punches the Doctor, knocking him out. A little later, River is twisting some wires together.) Computer: Autodestruct in two minutes. (The Doctor wakes up.) Doctor: Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on, what are you doing? That's my job. River: Oh, and I'm not allowed to have a career, I suppose? Doctor: Why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs? River: Spoilers. Doctor: This is not a joke. Stop this now. This is going to kill you! I'd have a chance; you don't have any. River: You wouldn't have a chance, and neither do I. I'm timing it for the end of the countdown...”

(TV: Forest of The Dead)

He deals with extreme levels of grief after having lost all his companions over time and the trauma of the Time War. (Prose: Peacemaker, Prose: Prisoner of The Daleks, Comic: Fugitive, Comic: Music Man, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Journey's End, TV: The Next Doctor, TV: Waters of Mars, TV: The End of Time pt.1 & TV: The Day of The Doctor)

The Doctor grieves for the Time Lords and feels terrible pain around what he’s done and what he’s seen done. This makes his relationship to The Master take on an almost desperate edge that is different from classic Doctor/Master relationships. 

“Doctor: I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other.”

(TV: The Sounds of Drums)

“Doctor: Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate. Come on. The Master: And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you? Doctor: You've got to. Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons. Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else. Regenerate!"

(TV: Last of The Time Lords)

A way this grief manifests is how he discusses the Time Lords with Martha at the beginning of series three:

“Doctor: I lied to you because I liked it. I could pretend. Just for a bit, I could imagine they were still alive, underneath a burnt orange sky. I'm not just a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. The Face of Boe was wrong. There's no one else. Martha: What happened? Doctor: There was a war. A Time War. The last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation. And they lost. They lost. Everyone lost. They're all gone now. My family, my friends, even that sky. Oh, you should have seen it, that old planet. The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song.”

(TV: Gridlock)

Ten also paints a view of Gallifrey in the most beautiful terms of how beautiful it is, the most wonderful parts of the world, avoiding the harmful parts of the society. The Doctor holds this mythologised view of the Time Lords as a version of grief:

“Doctor: ... A Time Lord is so much more. A sum of knowledge, a code, a shared history, a shared suffering. Only it's gone now, all of it. Gone forever.”

(TV: The Doctor’s Daughter:)

Another specific Time Lord-related grief he has is for his children. We’re not aware if they died in the Time War or before; either way, we know that their being torn from him hurt. {He already had children, Davies, It’s F’ing Canon Davies}

“Doctor: Donna, I've been a father before. Donna: What? Doctor: I lost all that a long time ago, along with everything else. Donna: I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? You talk all the time, but you don't say anything. Doctor: I know. I'm just. When I look at her now, I can see them. The hole they left, all the pain that filled it. I just don't know if I can face that every day. Donna: It won't stay like that. She'll help you. We both will. Doctor: But when they died, that part of me died with them. It'll never come back. Not now.”

(TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)

He then loses this new child, made to relive the grief. (TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)

He gathers more grief throughout his time, like losing Donna to the Metacrisis. (TV: Journey's End) Afterwards, he visits Charlie Chaplin due to Donna wanting to go there (Comic: Silver Scream). The Doctor gets lost in the past and calls people the previous companions' names. He keeps past companions’ things, like Donna and Turlough.  (Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook) The Doctor relates to the grief of a society who lost a large portion of their families to an explosion. (Prose: The Eyeless)The Doctor’s grief over all of his friends drives him to feel overwhelming emotions, and he considers being able to see them one more time to be his reward. (TV: The End of Time pt.2)

Loneliness permeates The Doctor’s experience of life and has since The Doctor was much younger, and has only grown through the Time War.  (Prose: The Slitheen Excursion, Prose: Prisoner of The Daleks, Comic: Fugitive, Comic: Don't Step on Grass, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: Last of The Time Lords, TV: Partners in Crime, TV: The Planet of The Dead, TV: The End of Time pt. 1/pt.2)

Douglas Henderson notes that he can tell The Doctor is lonely, hoping that the TARDIS keeps him company. (Comic: The Big, Blue Box) The Doctor explains the loneliness he goes through in his life to Rose when she brings up how he has left past companions behind:

“Doctor: You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.”

(TV: School Reunion)

Reinette reads the memories of Ten and can see into his childhood  and can see how loneliness: 

“Reinette: Oh, such a lonely childhood...Oh, Doctor. So lonely. So very, very alone. Doctor: What do you mean, alone? You've never been alone in your life. When did you start calling me Doctor? Reinette: Such a lonely little boy. Lonely then and lonelier now. How can you bear it?”

(TV: The Girl in The Fire Place)

An alien called the Isolus's drive to return home, and how isolated it must feel is something Ten is able to relate to:

“Rose: You knew the Isolus was lonely before it told you. How? Doctor: I know what it's like to travel a long way on your own.”

(TV: Fear Her)

Gabby can tell that The Doctor is lonely (Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook). The Doctor is described as his TARDIS being his only constant companion, one he doesn’t fully resent, but does show that he has suffered long spells of loneliness from other friends (Prose: The Eyeless)

Loneliness became a very strong force for The Doctor after his companions all chose to leave him. Ten describes this to Lake:

“Lake: Tell me one thing. All those facts and figures I saw of the Doctor's life, you were never alone. All those bright and shining companions. But not anymore? Doctor: No. Lake: Might I ask why not? Doctor: They leave. Because they should. Or they find someone else. And some of them, some of them forget me. I suppose in the end, they break my heart.”

(TV: The Next Doctor)

The Doctor feels guilt due to believing he chose genocide  of the Time Lords and Daleks and the other actions he took during the Time War, and decisions he has made since. (Prose: The Eyeless, Comic: The Weeping Angels of Mons, Comic: Sins of the Father, Comic: Music Man, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of The Daleks, TV: Last of The Time Lords, TV: Planet of The Ood, & TV: The Doctor's Daughter)

When faced with Daleks, he is forced to remember what happened during the Time War and directly deal with his memories. Being confronted with an actual Dalek again, he has to keep his act together, but the guilt and pain come through as he states simply the situation he is in, and quips with the Daleks:

“Black Dalek: How did you survive the Time War? Doctor: By fighting. On the front line. I was there at the fall of Arcadia. Someday I might even come to terms with that. But you lot ran away!”

(TV: Doomsday)

In Comic: Endgame, we see The Doctor show feelings of guilt over having dismissed Adam during his Ninth incarnation, offering him forgiveness after Adam gives his life to rectify his kidnapping of The Doctor’s companions. 

The Doctor feels deeply guilty for what happened to Martha during her time with him.He’s finally able to recognise that he was deeply unfair to Martha, putting her through hell. Her relationship with him caused her family to be abused. This guilt is fully warranted as he did act poorly; we can see it as part of a pattern of behaviour. Ten shows casual cruelty and pays for it:

“Donna: Still on your own? Doctor: Yup. Well, no. I had this friend. Martha, she was called. Martha Jones. She was brilliant. And I destroyed half her life. But she's fine, she's good. She's gone.”

(TV: Partners in Crime)

When three regenerations of the doctors are brought together, the Twelfth Doctor notes that Ten feels guilt and is obsessive:

“12th Doctor: I think he [Tenth Doctor] might actually be seeking punishment”

(Comic: Four Doctors)

We see how much guilt he feels over past lives actions, how shameful he feels about who he could become. He can’t deal with what he did during the Time War without wanting to lash out at himself in his other regenerations. He was able to accept himself enough to offer kindness to the War incarnation and, by extension, save Galifrey, but it took time and effort to go past the anger and guilt. (TV: Day of The Doctor)

Later in life he experiences guilt over his extreme actions, like breaking the laws of time and driving Adelaide to suicide due to meddling in her life:

“Doctor: I've gone too far. Is this it? My death? Is it time?”

(TV: The Waters of Mars)

“Doctor: ...I thought it was better. But I did some things. It went wrong.”

(TV: The End of Time pt2)

Ten talks with Wilfred about The Master’s violence, along with his own. 

“ Doctor: And that's how the Master started. It's not like I'm an innocent. I've taken lives. I got worse. I got clever. Manipulated people into taking their own. Sometimes I think a Time Lord lives too long. I can't. I just can't. ” 

(TV: The End of Time pt. 2)