( This catchline does of course have me thinking of IR's ' The story of destiny begins ' poetry quote & illustration
In fact , quite frankly - majority of Later Bleach media , is blatantly derivative of Early Bleach content )
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One of my favorite parts of Bleach is that for every rule it "breaks", it justifies it.
"Only Captains have Bankai" and then Ikkaku uses it...yeah, he's keeping it a secret.
"Why doesn't he use it again?" Bankais don't come back when they break, so his Bankai was basically ruined forever.
"If Bankais break, how do Renji and Komamura--" Kubo challenges you to count the segments (lol) and points out that Komamura's has a built-in tradeoff weakness.
"Zaraki only learned Shikai and then got Bankai in less than a week--" Yeah, because he spent his whole life walking around with his Bankai sitting on his shoulder. As soon as he learned her Actual Name, the two of them were bonded enough to have Full Power.
"But it takes ten years to--" Yep. Zaraki's body gets torn apart by his Bankai, and Rukia nearly freezes herself with her own Bankai. Renji's Bankai also takes a lot of time to charge and move around, so even he's not fully done with his weapon.
There are so many rules and pieces of lore that get tweaked as the story progresses, and it's fun.
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They say revenge is best served cold. In Shinji Hirakoâs case, after a hundred years of waiting, it wasnât just cold. It was frozen solid. Just like that fish Hachi shoved into the fridgeâthe one Shinji found two years later, still there, still judging his poor life choices.
The Vizards, especially Shinji, had waited far too long for this day. And finally, their public enemy number oneâSĹsuke Aizenâhad shown up in the World of the Living with his shiny new army of Arrancar.
The long-awaited moment of vengeance was deliciously real.
And yet, standing face-to-face with his former, traitorous lieutenant, Shinji had to admit heâd imagined this moment being a bit less of⌠an awkward class reunion, and more... well, an epic final battle.
Aizen did not look like Shinji remembered him.
Every time Shinji thought about the evil bastard (and he didâoften, and never fondly, not since that guy turned him into his little science project), he pictured those nerdy glasses, that bland, boring face, and the crime of a haircut. In shortâa man with all the personality of a wet napkin.
Even that hideous caricature Hiyori had drawn, the one the Vizards used as a dartboard, had more charisma than Lieutenant Stick-Up-His-Ass himself.
But the Aizen standing before him today? A completely different sight. Slicked-back hair, overdressed, glowed up like a bride at a cheap wedding party. Mr. âIâm Too Good to Look at Youââlive and in person.
Shinji nearly burst out laughing.
Seriously, did this guy design his outfit just for world domination?
Also, no way heâs getting those bloodstains out of that white coat when theyâre done with him.
But enough about fashion. Shinji hadnât come here to talk trends (though he couldâthe man had style).
Without further ado, he released his Shikai. Sakanade spun around his hand, humming with anticipation.
Aizen only watched, his eyes somewhat glassyâcold, like that same frozen fish. Just slightly more alive.
But something was off. Up close, Aizen didnât look so great. And it wasnât just the over-styled hair. No.
Glassy eyes. Red nose. A bit of sweat on his forehead.
Wait a minuteâŚ
Is he sick?
Shinji blinked.
No way! Must be another one of his illusions, right?
Because, come onâevil doesnât get sick. Colds donât touch people who play god. And besides, back when Shinji was his captain, the bastard never even sneezed once. No scratches, no bruises, not even a paper cut. The guy was perfection incarnateâlike a smug little marble statue.
Evil doesnât catch colds. Evil doesnât sniffle. And yet Aizen was standing there, looking like shit.
If this wasnât an illusion, if Aizen was actually under the weather... Oh, Hiyori would never let him hear the end of it. He could already hear her yapping: âBeating up a sick guy? Real classy, Baldy!â
So how was he supposed to get revenge with dignity now?
âHey, Aizen?â Shinji asked, trying not to sound too awkward. âYou sure youâre up for this? You can still surrender, yâknow.â
âWhy would I do that?â he asked, voice weirdly nasal.
Then he sniffledâloudly, like it was all part of his plan.
No way! That wasnât an illusion. That was an honest-to-god runny nose!
âI dunno,â Shinji shrugged. âMaybe because youâre about to snot all over your pretty coat?â
Seriously, who shows up to a war with a cold? This was a battlefield, not a walk-in clinic!
If Shinji were still his captain, heâd order Aizen straight back to Las Nochesâunder a warm blanket, with tea, honey, and a deep sense of shame.
But of course, Mister God Complex just had to show off.
Fine by him. Shinji hadnât waited a hundred years just to call in sick now.
Sakanade spun faster, filling the air with that sweet floral scent. Pink mist surrounded them both.
âI donât sense any difference,â Aizen said, smug and congested. âHas it gotten colder?â
Shinji snorted. âNo, genius. Thatâs your fever. But donât worry, things are about to change.â
Aizen shivered slightlyâchills, not fear.
Shinji stared in disbelief.
Then sighed.
âSmell that?â he asked. âNice fragrance, huh?â
Aizen stared at him. âCanât smell anything.â
He sniffed again. Louder this time.
Silence fell.
Long, awkward, and unhealthy.
The Inverted World shouldâve kicked in already. But Aizen just stood thereâstill sick, but perfectly fine.
Shinji didnât get it.
Because nothing happened.
Absolutely. Nothing.
And that was a huge problem. Normally, the scent triggered the flip of your senses. But apparently, sinus congestion beat his Shikaiâs logic.
Thenâ
âA-aaah-CHOO!â
Aizenâs sneeze, dramatic. Because of course, he had to be dramatic. And Shinji almost said âbless youâ by reflex. Almost...
Instead, he hissed, âOh, go to hell, you jerk!â
Neverânever in the history of ever had a common cold canceled out Sakanadeâs power!
And of course it had to happen with SĹsuke freaking Aizen!
âHowâd you know?â Shinji growled.
Aizen gave him that same superior, all-knowing look.
âI anticipated this,â he said coolly. âEverything is going according to plan.â
Then he smirked, though the drip under his nose sort of ruined the effect.
âOnly idiots donât catch colds,â he added.
Shinji knew exactly who that jab was aimed at.
What he didnât know, what he couldnât possibly know, was that Aizen was lying through those smirking, chapped lips.
