why did he tian become obsessed with guanshan?
i think it's about his family, especially his brother.
his obsession with mo may be an attempt to "rewrite" the childish scenario of his relationship with his brother.
he tian grew up in a family in which love was a currency. his domineering brother and, probably, cruel father taught him that in order to receive love, you need to "earn" it: through submission, success, or sacrifice. this childhood trauma turned his obsession with guanshan into an attempt to replay the past. he tian unconsciously projects two roles onto mo:
1. the brother he wants to "defeat"- to earn his love by dominating and controlling guanshan;
2. the vulnerable child version of himself - craving unconditional love. that’s why he tells mo: "i’ll give you everything, you owe me nothing". he’s begging for the love he never received.
he tian tries to "buy" guanshan's love with gifts and control, as if saying: "look, i'm good! love me!" but when mo resists, he tian snaps into rage - it’s his inner child panicking: "it’s happening again! no one loves me!" he’s stuck in an illusion: "if i try harder, i’ll earn love" (just like he dreamed as a kid).
this creates a toxic cycle: he tian mimics his brother’s dominance (to avoid losing mo) and suppresses guanshan, hoping he’ll choose him willingly. but the harder he pushes, the less genuine their connection becomes.
he tian and jian yi
therefore when mo appeared, he tian's feelings for jian yi cooled down. he felt at ease with jian yi. i believe he tian immediately recognized that jian yi was in love with zhan zhengxi, so he simply enjoyed their friendship. with guanshan he felt like a child being rejected once again. consequently, his feelings turned into a crush.
guanshan and he cheng similarities:
both treat resources as substitutes for safety. for he cheng power/control = protection for loved ones. for guanshan money = fake autonomy + security. both prioritize resources over feelings.
he tian and he cheng
he tian just wants love. but he’s forced to act like he cheng in their relationship because she li made him feel weak without his family’s resources. so now he flip - flops between two roles: the controlling brother and the needy child. dominance vs desperation. he throws tantrums for attention but defaults to aggression.
he grows from a child who hated his brother for failing to give him love into a man who understands why his brother did what he did. but it doesn't completely heal him from his trauma.
why does guanshan stay with he tian?
guanshan’s world runs on two rules:
- aggression = communication (attack first or get devoured);
- resources = safety (money, power, strength are his only "allies").
guanshan grew up thinking:
- tust no one. hit first or get hit;
- feelings = weakness.
he’s hyper - tolerant of violence because he uses it himself as armor. he probably has a high pain tolerance.
when he tian bombards him with "care", mo sees a familiar archetype: a predator disguised as a savior. his resistance isn’t just about freedom - it’s a ritual of self-respect: "i won’t submit to him, like i didn’t submit to she li." that’s why he constantly warns he tian not to control him.
but deep down mo can’t distinguish control from care.
indeed, he was brought up by a caring mother. however i think that even her love for him seemed to him like a responsibility, rather than a genuine display of affection.
so mo never truly gets angry at he tian’s actions - violence and coercion are his normal. he doesn’t grasp boundaries or his own feelings. to him emotions = weakness. "strong people don’t need others", he thinks. but he tian breaks this logic. guanshan’s constant anger? it’s really self-directed rage.
therefore I maintain that their relationship will be difficult without guanshan's personal growth. neither of them will experience true happiness. to be with a man like he tian: rich, powerful, gorgeous - mo must first develop self-confidence. he must stop suppressing his emotions and honestly acknowledge his desires and fears. without his personal growth, their relationship will stay miserable.
the core conflict
he tian wants love from someone who prioritizes survival over feelings. guanshan wants autonomy and to provide for his family, not be a "burden". their priorities clash.
the fear
they’re both terrified to lose each other. if he tian asks: "do you love me?" - he risks rejection. if guanshan admits his fears - he has to choose: stay or leave. neither’s ready for that conversation.
their cycle:
1. guanshan says "i don’t need you!"
2. he tian buys him stuff or yells.
3. guanshan pretends to hate it… but feels wanted.
4. repeat. forever.
