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Why You Should Extend Grace to Shay Carl Butler

By: Megan Wellman

I have been a member of the Shaytards audience since long before their fourth child was born in 2011 (omitting children’s names purposefully). I dreamt of the day I would finally get to meet this family that I had so highly admired and respected. Colette with her positive attitude, and the children who could always put a smile on my face through their comedic charm on days that were hard. They were always there, but this is about Shay. Shay made a profound impact on me. He would make videos of inspiration, telling his audience that their happiness was within their own choosing. They had control of their own happiness. This statement instantly grew to a personal mantra for me. It wasn’t always easy choosing happiness, but it was always the best choice. He would be so encouraging as he would take runs and give motivational talks to his audience. It would always give me the extra push to get things done. I can go on and on with my favorite parts about this dynamic family, but that is far more than I am willing to write. I saw the change that other fans did in the past year with the Shaytard vlogs. It was difficult to experience this change in the atmosphere. The Shaytards videos, whether purposefully or not, began to highlight the wealth that the family had gained over the past few years. This was not the problem; the problem was when fans started to notice the apathy with Shay. Something happened, and dedicated viewers could tell that Shay fell out-of-love with vlogging. He should have stopped vlogging at that point, but that is not the focus of this article.

Shay did some disappointing things over the past year, but the thing that tipped the viewers over the edge was the promise he made on October 2nd, 2016. He promised to daily vlog for five more months and then take a yearlong break. Fans were okay by this decision because they could tell that the family was no longer interested in vlogging (which it’s totally fine- it’s a part of life). This promise did not last very long as the family uploaded rarely and often would upload week old footage. Fans became disgustingly upset and began saying horrendous things to the family. On February 12, 2017, news broke about Shay that was absolutely devastating. Shay had allegedly been having an online affair with a woman. He purportedly engaged in inappropriate conversation with this woman for a duration of three months. The woman released images of direct messages the two had reportedly exchanged on Twitter. Moments later, Shay came out with a statement claiming that he had fallen into alcoholism, which he had struggled with in the past. He attributed all inappropriate behavior, “demons”, to be a result of alcoholism.

I can’t imagine the pain he and his family is going through. Thankfully Shay is seeking rehabilitation, but it will be a process for his family--his marriage to fully heal. Unfortunately, it is like the fans became ravenous and began attacking Shay. This is a time that he needs support, but hardly anyone is extending a caring hand. He professed “happiness is a choice” at one point, and now he claims that he “just can’t do it anymore”. I am ashamed of the way his once-fans responded. They were quick to judge rather than give a hand of support. I know they were hurt, but Shay was humiliated and crushed. I feel nothing but sorrow for this family. I don’t feel judgement or condemnation. How am I to judge a man when I sinned first? It reminds me of the instance where Jesus told the people that those who are without sin, could throw the first stone against the adulterous woman. He was the only one in the crowd without sin, yet He threw not. He is not a God of condemnation, and with me aspiring to become like Him daily, I cannot throw a stone at Shay. “For we do not have a High Priest not able to be sympathetic with our weaknesses, but One Who has been tested against all things in quite the same way as we are but without sin. Therefore, we should come to the throne of grace with boldness, so that we could take mercy and we would find grace in well-timed help.” Hebrews 4:15-16

Shay should be encouraged to go to thrown of Christ with boldness. He should be extended mercy. He should be extended love. Most of all he should be extended grace. Who are you to deserve grace, but not give it to Shay in return? I choose to pray for him and his family. I choose to pray that he finds true healing at the feet of Jesus. That he comes to a state of repentance and find true grace and humility. I also pray for his marriage. Shay and Colette are a beautiful couple with amazing children, their family does not deserve to crumble at the faults of Shay. I pray that they become closer than ever. I pray that the fans would extend grace to Shay in this time of despair.  If Shay chooses to never return to YouTube, then I support him. If he chooses to return, I support that decision. I support whatever helps him live a healthy life with his family. I only want goodness for this family, and I know it will all turn out okay in the end. God bless the entire Butler family, thank you for the impact you have had on my life.