#shaunposting

Why do you write Shaun as Transgender? Did the actor come out?

Michael being a trans guy, Stormy being nonbinary, and they both casually talk about it while Shaun is hanging around like a ghost. Shaun is always quiet; as though there's nothing that could be added, as though there's so much to say but nothing coming out. They both notice, of course, but they never say anything, they just give Shaun a warm smile, an invitation if it's ever wanted. And Shaun is terrified to tell them. Shaun is afraid of being anything other than what people told her to be growing up. She realized who she is at some point in adulthood, but she's been quiet about it. She's always second-guessing, doubting herself, worried she'd intrude or that she doesn't have a right to talk about it- and when she finally says something, late one night when they're all on the couch... she is shocked.

the transfem allegory with shaun andersen is not even a joke or a headcanon i made up for fun, it makes complete sense. reacting to everything with anger or dismissal because if you start to actually let yourself think and feel for yourself outside of it, you're afraid of what you might find. anger keeps everything else away, it's a gut reflex, it keeps you from ruminating, it keeps you safe. you feel like you're dying if you dig too deep so you deny, deny, deny. you lash out and hurt both yourself and the people you love most, because if you get too close to someone they want to know you, and you don't know you. you cut off your hair when stormy died, because it didn't feel safe to even lightly touch that part of yourself ever again. you cut everyone off, telling your own brother, your flesh and blood who has been through unimaginable hell, that you don't need him, that you'll do everything yourself, because you only need yourself and your own toxic self loathing and denial. you can put it all into a neat little box to never analyze, to never think about. you're strong. you don't need to think about it, you're fine.