#sharpless

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Happy Birthday, Montana! You would be 31 today. You were 28 when we recorded this on February 15th, 2020. It was almost 9 years ago to the day when we recorded our first song together. That was the first time I met Montana Elliot, your endlessly powerful alter-ego, and I learned that I was actually recording a powerful laser beam that could split open reality and pull everyone in earshot into another world.

Grief eventually calcifies into a reduction. Images, words, and songs to compartmentalize the full human being we miss. We all need to do this to survive, because it’s impossible to replicate a soul. It can be scary to watch these concentrations and symbols of a person stack up, while real and cherished memories of them stay locked in to a fixed amount. It’s natural, required to heal, and understandably harrowing to navigate. Ultimately, it’s deeply comforting. It creates a language for all of us to remember you. Grief also means learning so much more about a person through fragments and memories that don’t belong to you. We’ve all become this incredible coalition of Montana Experts. We’re always researching you and sharing our findings with each other.

These connections and conversations are an essential reminder that none of us are broken for loving you so much. If we were broken our love would drain out and disappear, but we’ve been walking around with our hearts filled to the brim and we haven’t spilled a drop. We continue to pour all of our love for you, and all the love you have for us, into each other. Forever and ever.

YRICS:

Forever and ever and ever.

Woke up tangled up

In every charger that I've ever plugged in

Feeling capable

Of giving love I thought I once abandoned

The window was hot from the sun

And the trees make warmer colors Just to show how long we're lovers

Leaves live up to their namesake

I can wait

I can wait

For as long as it takes

Cause

Can't think of anyone else worth knowing

My hearts a cup that you filled up

And now it's overflowing

Your jawline pressing up to mine

Singing unison

On every line

Two people in love

Just screaming

There are things

Still worth believing in

Can we stay together

Forever and ever and ever

Woke up feeling good

Like any falling brick could bounce right off me

Feeling understood

Like maybe there are secret codes in melody

Twisting the radio knobs

Making static sounds just to turn you around

I see you smile from the back of your head

The most beautiful songs have a sense of humor I guess

Can't think of anyone else worth knowing

My hearts a cup that you filled up

And now it's overflowing

Your jawline pressing up to mine

Singing unison

On every line

Two people in love

Just screaming

There are things

Still worth believing in

Why can bad habits easily come back to life

When something healthy can just drive away at night

Why do I always feel like love is not enough

Why do I always feel like

It's not