#shark rambles

* being on testosterone

* having a minor disagreement with another nby person

* and for someone else having a crush on me

evidently all these things make me an angry abusive man. during the argument, the other person was standing, leaning over a table, getting closer and more in my face as they got frustrated, and i was seated the whole time. and then "well clearly t does make you aggressive" because i . . . held my ground while they berated me?

like. it was the same as the way the first thing out of a skinny/pretty/popular person's mouth when a fat/ugly/weird person dares to disagree with them is "yeah well you're fat/ugly/weird and this makes you a threat to my comfort"

thankfully the rest of my friends have heard this person accuse me of all of this (behind my back, while playing friends to my face) and were immediately aware that it was bullshit

to be fair, this friend is having an episode and we are all aware of that, but normally my friends don't go on a four-day transphobic and intersexist tirade about how all people on t are aggressive and abusive and can't be trusted. like, the anger is understandable bc that's the triggered symptom, but the fact that they reached so easily for such heavy transansrophobia... sigh. i genuinely hope we can repair this relationship, but apparently they've been calling me abusive for months (without addressing anything directly with me at all) and want me and my partner kicked from our community.

it is my celebration necklace

"I found a lump in my boob so the doctors stabbed it seven times."

I've been very private about it but I've had an ongoing breast cancer scare for the past year. I found a lump in my left breast over a year ago but couldn't get it examined because of insurance complications and three months of scheduling delays. They couldn't tell if it was benign or malignant so after the screening, I had to get a biopsy, which meant stabbing my boob seven times (once to numb it, five times for tissue samples, and once to put a titanium tracker in the lump) which I've been recovering from for the past few days.