Something I did today to control anxiety haha, but this is far from the original. I did it remembering how they looked like, but I forgot how to do their hair 😆
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And once again, I remain—one more of those nights, waiting desperately for the dawn, yet moments only twist, the night grows longer and sorrow creeps in. I do not sleep. Thoughts steal sleep from my eyes and keep calling: how I travelled a long road, only to realize now that all that effort, all that longing, all that meaning, has been scattered to the wind? I never understood why my life became so tangled in mistakes. With every rise, I sank deeper. I lost. The fire inside me burns mercilessly—destroys. I am not fierce-tempered, nor am I mad, but no one hears me unless I cry out. No one will ever understand how I can feel so wretched in this position of power, and yet look back with a vague longing at the hard days of the barracks. When there was still a glimmer of hope—for what I wanted to do, for what I wanted to be. I will not look to the sky anymore, yet I am too ashamed to face the earth. Is this what I fought for? Tonight, I threw the Golden Lion badge—once my pride—into a corner. I do not want the badge that weighs heavy on my heart. I want nothing anymore, except to be freed from this loud, deathly silence of the night. I will murmur an old song to the flickering light of the candle, until sleep takes me. Perhaps I will dream of home, of the mountain meadows, of wild flowers, of a white mare with hopeful eyes, perhaps...
My headcanons about Marzbans, ranking systems, relationships, ect
This has been living rent free in my head for a long time and I finally got an eviction notice for it. Also super long post.
RANKING SYSTEMS:
MILITARY RANKING:
There are two types of ranking systems: Capital and Non-Capital. Capital is for Ecbatana's military ranking, as it has a considerably bigger army than the rest of the country, and Non-Capital is for cities, especially more important/bigger ones. For Non-Capital, we have a system similar to the real world, with Commander being the highest rank with 3,500 men. And as for the Capital system, it's also pretty similar to real world ranking. The three highest ranks (Excluding Eran) are:
Every rank is mainly under supervision from only one rank higher. For example, the Erān is responsible for the entire army, but is mostly supervising the Marzbāns. When a soldier gets in trouble, their supervisor can put in a good word in for them, and most of the times soldiers are forgiven by law if the supervisor puts the good word in, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are forgiven by the supervisor himself. This is why it's a common occurrence to see a Marzbān (mostly Daryun and Kubard) running for their life while Vahriz is chasing them with some kind of a weapon.
The minimum age for joining the military is 16, and men are manually drafted into it for 6 months after they turn 18, and they can either choose to stay or go.
GOVERNMENT RANKING:
There is a governor for each city. A city will be chosen to be the capital of it's state, and the governor of it will be the supervisor/manager for the rest of the governors. The only exception is Ecbatana, where the governor of it is the king himself. Governors choose someone they see fit as the next governor, and often it's their heir. People can write complaints to the king, and if the king sees fit, he will choose a new governor for the city. As for small towns and villages, it's a completely different story: it's basically a competition of wealth. They have Khān, which is the same a lord in 19th century england. If they are unhappy about who it is, the only thing they can do is to rebel against the lord themselves, because nobody gives a shit about them. That's one of Pars's problems: no one really cares about smaller areas. Except for Arslan.
The minimum age for becoming a governor is 20, but many become unofficial ones at younger, including Narsus, who became one at 17 after his father died.
MOTIVATION:
I mean... You wouldn't just get in an incredibly risky job without motivation, right?
(QUICK NOTE: All of the backgrounds for characters are headcanons only)
DARYUN: Vahriz. All throughout his life, Vahriz was his idol. And despite Vahriz telling him not to, due to the mental and physical toll, Daryun joined the military and became a Marzbān relatively quickly. He became a Marzbān at the young age of 23, holding the record for the youngest person to achieve that rank.
KISHWARD: A majority of people he loves are in the military. His late father was in the military, the people who adopted him after his dad died were his dad's military buddies, even the people who helped him when he was orphaned and became homeless were mostly soldiers. It was no surprise when he joined the military.
KUBARD: There was no job opportunity for him. His alcoholic tendencies began when he was a teenager, and as soon as his family started getting concerned, he moved to Ecbatana. There, he was homeless and did odd jobs to afford things, mostly including alcohol. Vahriz found him behind a tavern after throwing hands with three people while blackout drunk, saw potential in him, told him he'll make a great soldier if he gets his shit together, and that's when Kubard thought: "hmm... Being a soldier doesn't require much education or anything else" and joined the military, except that he never left drinking behind. Shapur was the only one who was concerned and actively tried to get him to sober up, and now Esfan continues his legacy by stressing over Kubard's alcohol consumption.
SHAPUR: Being wanting to get out of his small hometown while also contributing something to his country. Shapur yearned to see the world, and felt trapped in that small town, so he went directly against his father's order (who was a Khan) and moved to Ecbatana with Esfan, since none of his relatives family members would take Esfan in. After months of livliving paycheck to paycheck, his rank finally was high enough for a decent salary. Shapur wasn't talented at fighting compared to the others, but he was very hardworking, which made up for most of his flaws.
SĀM: His home state. He's a patriot just for Azarbaijan and Azarbaijan only. Before you guys jump me, I have to add that as far as I'm aware, Azarbaijan was a part of ancient pars. He despises Farsi and didn't learn it properly. As a result, when he was sent to Ecbatana, he could barely speak Farsi. He eventually learned overtime, but that didn't erase his hatred for the language. Honestly I would've crashed out too if I found out most of my country doesn't speak the language I do.
KHARLAN: Wanting to see the world. Kharlan didn't have a rich dad, and would've been dead by the time he saved enough money to travel around the world. His solution was to become a soldier and constantly volunteer for deployment. That was how him and Sām met for the first time, actually. He was deployed to Azarbaijan, and his guide was Sām.
VAHRIZ: Being a patriot and wanting to protect his loved ones. Even if he dislikes most monarchs, he loves his country. He's willing to sacrifice everything for it and the people he loves, especially Daryun. As long as he knows everyone will be alive and well, he'll be okay.
BAHMAN: In spite of whoever he knew before he joined the army. He grew up with a bunch of communist rebels who were abusive to him, so he ran away and joined the exact thing they hated the most to make a statement, but unexpectedly, the same thing he used to think was evil became his support system.
SKILLS AND STRENGTHS:
DARYUN: Other than everything mentioned in the manga, he can run really fast. Now, when does this come in handy? When a flip flop (or a brick if you're unfortunate enough) is flying towards you, or alternatively, in the middle of the battlefield. He also tends to make friends super easily, and gets along with almost anyone
KISHWARD: He's amazing at negotiation, and can get along with anyone, one way or another. It's partly because of Bahman's teachings, and partly because he just hates conflict. He's the peacekeeper between Marzbāns, too.
KUBARD: He's barely ever phased by anything. Yelling doesn't work on him, swearing doesn't work on him, threatening doesn't work on him, nothing does. Same goes for physical things, as he can withstand multiple severe injuries without an issue.
SHAPUR: Resource management and stamina. He definitely doesn't look like it, but he can make a loaf of bread last for weeks. He didn't grow up in poverty, but did live in it, as previously mentioned, so he does know his way around budgeting and whatnot. He also has incredible stamina when it comes to walking, running, hiking, ect. There have been multiple occasions where he somehow managed to travel completely alone, or with a badly injured comrade, without a horse and barely any food and water. The reason for why he survived and made it safely back to Ecbatana was because of those two skills.
SĀM: Communication skills and kindness. Aka, the fact that when he first came to Ecbatana, he mostly communicated by cussing people out in Azari. Even now, he can communicate people even without knowing their language. Nobody knows how that works, or how they understand what Sām wants, they just know that they understand. Also, he has a very gentle heart despite how he looks and his status, and truly wishes the best for everyone.
KHARLAN: He can keep his calm during very high tension situations, and is practically built for spying. If you want to torture information out of him, you have to use extremely brutal methods, and even with that, he'll keep quiet most of the times. He's also great at disguising emotions and keeping them in check.
VAHRIZ: Protecting what he sees at important at all costs, even if it means risking his life. He's an incredibly strong willed person when it comes to protection, and the only thing that keeps him going through hard times is the thought of his loved ones.
BAHMAN: Practical thinking and not making things personal. He firmly believes that his personal life and bias should stay out of his line of work, no matter what.
FLAWS AND WEAKNESSES:
DARYUN: He tends to get carried away extremely easily, and often gets emotional where it's necessary for him to keep his cool. Although he's working on it, and has gotten better over the years, he's a bit emotionally stunted and has a history of unhealthy attachments, one of them being Narsus, although they've worked it out.
KISHWARD: Since he's constantly avoiding conflicts, he unintentionally lets people walk all over him. He'll do anything to keep the peace, even if it causes him harm. Also he has a beard but not a mustache.
KUBARD: He's a functioning alcoholic with serious mental health issues that's constantly running away from his problems. He has cycled through many healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms, and has found that alcohol works best. His stamina is also incredibly low, and he's relatively slower than the other Marzbāns.
SHAPUR: He always puts others above himself, so much so that he ends up neglecting his own needs. For example, even when his salary was high enough for him and Esfan to be able to easily afford necessities and even a little bit more, he constantly pushed himself to earn more, and as a result, he felt constantly burnt out.
SĀM: Although he's kind, he's also way too trusting, and is very biased. His gullible nature often gets him into tight situations (tighter than Shapur's ass, according to Kubard), and his biased kindness and gentleness causes people who don't deserve it to get sympathy from him, and people who are actually decent and struggling to not get a single ounce of pity. One of the best examples is how he treats Hilmes vs Arslan (I'm not saying that Hilmes doesn't deserve it but Arslan lowk deserves it way more).
KHARLAN: Amidst of trying to keep cool and quiet, he ends up unintentionally suppressing his emotions. This causes them to build up, and when it's become like an active volcano, he can explode from the smallest inconveniences. Fortunately or unfortunately, this mostly falls towards strong sadness more than strong anger, and it can go as far as crying in a crowd, but at least he's not hitting someone.
VAHRIZ: Unlike Bahman, he mixes personal opinions with work. He's very stubborn, too, and when he sets his beliefs on something, nothing can convince him they're wrong.
BAHMAN: Because of how practical and logical he tries to be, he frequently ends up being completely apathetic. It isn't that he lacks empathy, but avoids it as a way to "do the right thing", which to him is always the more logical option. He also keeps people at arm's length for the same reason.
(Yes I have to include some angst)
CONCERNING TRAITS:
(These aren't necessarily flaws, and if they are, they haven't caused serious trouble, but you should def get them checked out)
DARYUN: He's shouting 90% of the times. He can't control it. When he gets excited/emotional, he unintentionally raises his voice. Oh, and remember how I said he gets carried away easily? Here's a list of not serious but rediculous things he did as a result:
Breakdancing in the fog (they don't have that anywhere else by Daylam Apparently).
Rolling in green wet grass because it's green and wet (a rare sighting in Pars).
Crying at Osreos's funeral like he knew him personally (he didn't).
And many, many more things.
KISHWARD: He's an extremely awkward person. His brain will genuinely malfunction if you give him a compliment. And he also manages to go against every single social rule completely by accident.
KUBARD: Not only is he blind in one eye, he's partly deaf in one ear as well. He will "huh?" the living shit outta everyone around him. He also sleeps like a corpse, and has even slept through a minor earthquake, which the earthquake itself shouldn't have woken him up, but Daryun's yelling and Shapur's screaming should've.
SHAPUR: He has really bad mood swings when he's agitated. He'll be laughing a second and crying the next. Tbh he always has mood swings they're just ten times worse when he's upset.
SĀM: He doesn't believe in violence, but he ABSOLUTELY does believe in swearing. In fact, he has a nasty mouth and is cussing everything and everyone out at the smallest inconveniences. He swore in front of kids so much Esfan learned most curse words from him.
KHARLAN: He's extremely quiet. Too quiet. He accidentally sneaks up on people regularly without intenting to. It has reached a point where people automatically check before they begin talking shit about him.
VAHRIZ: He says cancel worthy things from time to time. It's kinda like your grandpa saying something that would've been acceptable in the 60s, but not so much in the big 2026. He isn't being malicious, of course.
BAHMAN: He keeps people in the dark often, even when there's no need to. Why? He's too lazy to explain it properly.
RELATIONSHIPS:
DARYUN: His best friend, obviously, is Narsus, but he is also pretty close with Kishward. He sees Arslan, Elam, Etoile, and Alfarid as his niece and nephews (although we all know he's way closer to Arslan we love you dad Daryun). Shapur and Kubard are both older friends, with Kubard being more like "your sister's cool boyfriend" and Shapur being "The older kid that adopted you and a bunch of your friends". Vahriz is like his dad ofc, Bahman was like "your friend's mom that you don't see often", Sām was the weird uncle, and Kharlan was... Meh. He didn't hate him, but didn't like him either. Farangis is like his sister, he doesn't really have a problem with Gieve, and Esfan is like a younger cousin. He likes Jaswant and is grateful to be friends with him, hates Shagad's guts, and thinks that Grahze is the coolest person to roam this earth. Dislikes Andragoras and Tahamine because of how they treated Arslan.
KISHWARD: He doesn't have many friends, but the ones he has include Daryun, Kubard, Narsus, and Shapur, who is basically the mom friend. Vahriz is like his uncle, and the closest thing he has to a father figure is Bahman, who he's very close with. Sām, too, is kinda like a younger uncle, and Kharlan is so quiet, in his opinion, that he doesn't know him properly. Dislikes Andragoras and is a bit scared of him.
KUBARD: Isn't really close to anyone, specially aside from Daryun, Kishward, and Narsus. Vahriz, to him, is the old uncle who says something cancel worthy from time to time. He doesn't hate Shapur, not at all, just doesn't agree with him knowing many things. He also finds him a bit annoying, especially because of how much he worries about him, but enjoys annoying I'm very much. After all, Shapur was a good distraction, while it lasted. Is Esfan's cool uncle. He doesn't dislike Gieve, and can't understand why people say they are similar to each other, as Gieve has hobbies and interests while he has none. He's also the cool uncle for Elam, Arslan, Etoile, and Alfarid. Farangis is his drinking buddy and he finds comfort in talking to her, and respects Jaswant and genuinely considers him to be brave.
SHAPUR: Is, again, the mom of the friendgroup. Was closer to Sām, BT not at all with Kharlan. Sees both Vahriz and Bahman as uncle and auntie. Esfan isn't just his brother, he's his first ever child, and although he doesn't want to admit it, he babies Esfa a litte. He has a very soft spot for kids, and if he didn't die, he would've adored Arlsan, Elam, Alfarid, and even Etoile the first time he saw them. If he survived, he wouldn't have minded Gieve as much as Esfan did. But Kubard. He hates that man with a burning passion. Or does he? Because he doesn't push Kubard away.
SĀM: Isn't really too close with anyone, but considers Shapur as a friend. I do not care what anyone says, Zandeh and Hilmes are both his kids. Now, I have to do some catching up wit the manga, but maybe I'll add Irina to that list as well. Although he generally didn't really like anyone in the court enough to get close to, he was best friends with Kharlan. Like, cheek kissing, hand holding, cuddling kind of best friends. But just friends. Yep! Just buddies! Pals! Homebros!
KHARLAN: He doesn't really like anyone, except Sām. He isn't as much in denial as he is, but still believes that even if he does really love Sām, he doesn't love him the same way. Loves Zandeh from the bottom of his heart, but fears that his own issues will rub off onto him, and is scared of getting too close as a result. If he lived, Hilmes would definitely have had become his second child.
VAHRIZ: Daryun is his son and the rest are his nephews. Arslan is his grandkid. Bahman... He never got to see him much in person, aside from the first time they met. He'd been in the army for two years, a job he never knew he'd choose, and Bahman was in for a year, although he'd joined when he was younger. He was an exchange soldier for a while at Vahriz's hometown, and god knows those 3 months were the best time of his youth, dare say his life. He didn't remember duty or soldier stuff from that time, he just remembered hanging out with the one who'd become his best friend. And oh, how much he wished Bahman could've stayed, or he could've went with him, and then he could've spent his youth with him...
BAHMAN: He doesn't get close to people, although there are exceptions. One of them include Kishward. Ever since he showed up at Peshwar, as a scrawny, awkward kid who knew nothing but kindness, Bahman taught him everything he knew. And somewhere along the way, he'd become quiet fond of the younger man. And Vahriz... Well... It's a long story. He was deployed to his Vahriz's hometown for a few months, and those times contained some of the best memories he'd ever made. Most of his time was spent not on fighting and shifts, but messing around with his new best friend and finding out in the best and worst way possible. Words can't describe how much he misses those times...
(I'll prolly create a seperate post for the rest of the cast lol)
MOST MEMORABLE FUCK-UP:
These aren't always their biggest mistakes, or even serious ones, but the mistakes they're remembered for the most.
DARYUN: The time he nearly killed off all of his men by getting his left and right mixed up. He said to charge towards left, which were exactly where the biggest troops of lusetanians were. And then one of the more high rank guys was like "you sure? That's where the enemies are" and Daryun was like "FUCK" and after severely damaging his vocal chords, he managed to correct himself.
KISHWARD: He went to a very important meeting while having the worst food poisoning of his life. Guess who vomited on the king twice.
KUBARD: Back when he became a Yal, he sold his badge to get more alcohol while having really bad withdrawals, and didn't show up for weeks because of the immense shame he felt. Everything worked out in the end tho.
SHAPUR: Fed a dog large amounts of chocolate, which resulted in its death. He didn't know chocolate was bad for dogs at the time, and hasn't forgiven himself for that incident completely, especially because of how much Esfan loves dogs and wolves.
SĀM: Almost called Tahamine a whore right in front of Andragoras. Kharlan body slammed him before he could.
KHARLAN: Accidentally called Andragoras dad in front of quiet a big audience. He nearly moved to another country. Literally.
VAHRIZ: Once he was having a very bad day, and some guy who drove like an animal got angry at him and came looking for trouble, so Vahriz actually threw hands with him. Nearly got fired because of how hard he'd fumbled the guy.
BAHMAN: Came to Ecbatana all by himself to deliver a very important letter, and realized he'd left it in Peshawar.
Anyways, that's the end. Maybe I'll make a follow up or smth idk
Honestly think I have reached the conclusion that I will never get Kubard and Shapur to admit they love each other in fic (not on the cards at all for my current WIP; just something I've been thinking about a bit again). I want to see this but I think I need someone else to write it, lmao.
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I haven't had much time to work on fic lately (life has been chewing me up and spitting me out, some good some bad) but why not give a little status update anyway? For obvious reasons I have really been feeling the Kubard/Shapur. I'm still working on the afterlife fic! But slowly. I've also realised I might want to reference whatever's going to happen next in canon so kind of need to see where that goes.
For now, Kubard's having a great time.
Being honest, though, I think part of the reason it's going slowly is that bits of it feel kind of heavy. And like... I don't think angst suits Kubard but in this setting, maybe...
But the result of that is that I took a break and have been working on the other Kubard/Shapur WIP of mine, and I finally finished that Kubard section that really ran away with me! And I'm about a couple of hundred words into the (final) Shapur section. (I did accidentally sneeze and get Atropatene all over this fic but ended up cutting it out because come on, this is set three years before that battle and I don't need to make it any more obviously haunted by what's to come. Maybe I'll do something else with it, maybe I won't, but I think it was the right decision not to leave it in.)
Shapur really liked that pattern on the wall in the throne room, huh?
(Yes, I know it could just be Arakawa reusing the same pattern but doesn't it feel amusingly on-brand for him? And you just know Kubard would have teased him about it, too.)
