I'm excited to be posting more and always looking for mutuals!

Did something I haven't done in a while. #baking #cinnamonrolls #homemade #todayinthelifeofshan #shanstudies

I didn't even WANT to take pictures on the journey. (You read that right.) I lost my apetite and couldn't eat even half of my plate during dinner, even after it being the first time I'm eating proper food in days (and any food in thirty six hours). I can't fall asleep, even though I'm tired as heck and I'm in my room on my own much much comfortable bed where I've wanted to return to for so long. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm back home with the people I love but my mind is still back at school where certain events took place with the staff that could cause me to be failed this year. And I can't stop thinking about how one of the Physiology assistant professors told us that thirty students had been failed in Anatomy. THIRTY. Out of two hundred. Which means one in every eighteen students has failed. And that's just in Anatomy. The departments have all decided to take their anger from certain unavoidable fallacies this year and be absolutely ruthless during our finals. And none of my classmates deserve any of this, because nothing that went wrong was of their fault at all. But me? I deserve to fail. I'd avoided any kind of studying or academic related activity for literal months, and in addition to that went totally AWOL for two months without an explanation. I wasn't even supposed to be allowed to write these finals because my attendance was so low, but I guessed they overlooked it while issuing out the hall tickets and it wasn't really that big a deal. But now I'm sure they're going to take one look at my attendance and fail me. On second thought, I guess they won't even have to look at my attendance to fail me, with the way I'd performed in these exams. I've accepted that it's inevitable, and I ought to stop worrying about it and constantly thinking about it but...I just can't, no matter how hard I try. #todayinthelifeofshan #shanstudies #examstress #medicalschool #cantstopworrying

This bar of chocolate is my first bite of food since yesterday night. I keep telling myself that I won't skip sleep or skip food, but I keep doing it anyway, all the time. No wonder I was such a mess today morning. I couldn't even say the classification of anaemia. When I first saw my questions I was delighted because I'd studying the exact same ones the night before. But then when the time for the oral viva came, I was mumbling through a string of unrelated words. It wasn't hard to sense that the examiners were really unimpressed with me. And I got into a huge mess I got into with the professors today (long story for another time). . On my way home on a bus (with a male passenger beside me who keeps hogging up more than his share of space and music blaring through the speakers), and it's supposed to take longer than usual because of traffic outside the city. I'm too tired to even be hungry anymore. I haven't slept in more than forty hours and I can feel my mind run out of its reserves of sanity, but I can't fall asleep because today's horrible experiences keep replaying in my head. . I hope at least staring out the window on the journey makes me feel better. #donewithexams #medschool #medstudent #medicine #exam #exams #examstress #examseason #college #collegelife #medicalschool #medicalstudentlife #medicalstudent #finals #finalsweek #anatomy #physiology #biochemistry #practicalexams #blog #blogging #photography #shanstudies

(I hate my phone's camera so, so much. Pictures of some pretty weeds I found growing near a ditch.) . In a sudden and happy turn of events, my family stopped by on their way to the bus station. We ate lunch on campus (a rather late lunch) and I had a great time with them. My siblings and I were quite noisy and obnoxious and got a lot of looks from the other seniors and professors who were chilling around the coffee stall but I was too happy to care! . Alhamdulillah for this wonderful moment to lift my spirits up. I feel so dumb to have been feeling so low the whole morning and afternoon. . Sometimes I feel like I really need to learn to have faith and trust that good times will come. . Now no more interruptions, physical or mental or emotional. Down to finishing off everything for tomorrow's exam. #todayinthelifeofshan #shanstudies #mobilephotography #amateurphotography #flowers #weeds #medicine #medstudent #finals #anatomy #anatomypracticals #anatomyexam #family #siblings #ilovemypeoplesomuch #feelinggood #alhamdulillah