“try and get some sleep. i’ll stay right here- i won’t let anything happen to you, i swear.”
her mind has been a tornado of what if’s and various possible scenarios ever since azriel came to the dusk court earlier in the evening. her friend’s arrival was unexpected, but welcomed. the last time she saw azriel was when they bid each other farewell on the day she left for her new court. that was months ago. she was beaming when she saw him, throwing her arms around him in greeting. however, it was short lived when azriel informed her he was aware she was pregnant with cassian’s child. it wouldn’t have been so shocking if it wasn’t for the fact she was hiding her pregnancy; her small bump was barely noticeable with the flowy dress she was wearing and she was using magic to disguise her scent.
no one should have been able to know. what made it alarming though was that azriel came here because she was pregnant. how he knew that when they were in different courts and no one in her court was even aware of it yet unnerved her. maybe his shadows told him or maybe one of elain’s visions, if it was the latter then she feared her sister would have told everyone not realizing nesta wanted it to be a secret. she tried to settle her rising panic, if that was the case surely cassian would have been here right now. or maybe that’s why azriel was here, to be the neutral party between her and cassian.
nesta knew once someone from the inner circle found out they would make an appearance, whether it was to ask for her to return to velaris, reconnect with cassian ( even though he was the one who made his choice about remaining in the night court ), or worst of all try to get her to hand over her baby for cassian to raise. she knew her sisters wouldn’t do something like that, but she can’t say the same for the rest of them, not when she knew how loyal they were to rhysand. he could order them to get her just for cassian’s sake. and she knew he would play it off in a way that would make it seem like it was benefitting her, as if it would be for her own good. it wasn’t as if she was keeping the baby from cassian, not exactly anyway, she simply didn’t want him to change his mind about ruling at her side because a child is involved. all she wanted was for him to choose her, for once, over rhysand. perhaps she was giving cassian too much credit, maybe he still wouldn’t want to stay here even knowing she was pregnant. he’d probably want to raise them in the night court.
exhaustion weighed heavily on her; between being pregnant, being stressed, and getting her court running she rarely slept peacefully these days. her eyes were feeling heavy as she sat with azriel in the drawing room. of course azriel took notice. “try and get some sleep. i’ll stay right here- i won’t let anything happen to you, i swear.” at that her eyes go wide, forcing herself to be more alert. it was still unknown to her whether anyone else in the inner circle knew about her pregnancy. a humorless laugh sounds out of her. “how am i to trust you? i'm pregnant with your brother's baby. how do i know you won’t whisk me back to the night court while i’m asleep or have cassian or rhysand come here? you’re loyal to him, not me. if rhysand orders it you’ll have no choice but to take me back. if i’m awake i can at least fight you off.”