#shadow black

I wish I could sleep like I did. The greedy way I spread myself in a bed, arms and legs splayed. Unafraid of taking space and using it. I used to be unwakeable, heavy weight against my pillow wet with spit. The spellcasting doesn’t help with sleep, the whole world still undimmable.

I just finished Shadow Black (Book 2 of the Spell Slinger series by Sebastien De Castell) and, I know there is very little content for this series in general (can I hear a big whoop from the spellslinger fandom?) But people seem to say nothing about Revian? Like, he's Seneira's betrothed, sure, but he was more than that, wasn't he? He was a clever boy, smart enough to figure Kellen out, he fought for a girl, not to impress her or make her fall for him or anything but rather because he genuinely just wanted her to be okay. We know he didn't love her romantically but platonic love can be equally as strong and I am really glad for this demonstration of that. Also, (MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT) he was used and manipulated by old fools with so much influence and power that they became lazy with it, to the point where they did not even go and do their own dirty work, but instead infected CHILDREN (teenagers are still children, if you can't legally buy yourself an alcoholic beverage in the UK, you are still a child) and made them into spies and cannon fodder for what? I have yet to find out.

My body had capacity. My legs kept me awake at night, growing. Bone stops making a way for itself—I am no longer this expanding thing, opening up and towards. What conjure can you make for that. Not needing height but wanting my body to gesture towards some other future.

My body was plastered in black and red freckles, hair like stitching, cracked rivers of skin. This has not changed. These parts still make my body and yet, this body is not my own, held by other’s eyes just enough that sometimes I look at it unacquainted.

I do not bide my time, I do not wait patiently for their mouth to lick my bones, suck the cream marrow from them, though they do. Know that all of their plates are learning. I will find the way to make teeth and to open my mouth for them. Their hunger is not the only one brimming.