#sh addict

MASSIVE trigger warning for sh and general gross wound stuff (no pics but still)

NOW FOLLOWING THAT IMAGINE

The thunderbolts going on their regular mission and John gets hit with something, Bucky and Yelena says it’s not lethal and he believes them on a whim. Some stuff on the mission goes to shit, the girls are blaming John, even alexei is shaking his head at him WHICH NEVER HAPPENS??? John feels like shit, terrible, and over all fucking awful.

so he does what any person with a severe sh addiction does when they get back, locks himself in his room (not like they would care, they’re all still mad at him) and whips out his pocket knife, yes the same one Lemar got him that has his initials engraved on the handle bar. He starts on his thigh then his wrists, at some point one cut scares him since it’s a bit too deep then expected, he finishes up and wraps them (even tho u knows that they will heal in minutes) puts on a long sleeve and fucks off with his day

and let’s think about, maybe the thing he was hit with WASNT non lethal, in fact it was very lethal, to him at least.

because he notices, the sting of the wound, the way he cant feel the skin stitch itself back together again, something is very wrong

he finally realized how bad it was when during dinner (or the ones he didn’t actually skip) Bucky catches a glimpse of it, an angry red line carefully peaking out the hem of John’s long sleeve shirt.

that’s when all hell breaks loose when Bucky suddenly lifts up John’s sleeve and the horrors are released