Thoughts on feeling diffident...
I was going to post this on my personal blog but I thought, I should post it on here to express how I feel about diffidence/bullying/comments and all other ways that friends, family and strangers try to make us feel down about ourselves. This is not necessarily about our bodies, but our personalities and beings.
For a person to be able to affect your mood, the way you feel about yourself, the way you carry/perceive and value yourself - they have a lot of power. They have power over you. You give them that power. Especially, with strangers. It's like, I don't know you, NEVER met you, and I don't care about you, but yet I deeply care about what you think of my thighs, my face, my stripey jeans, my look. Butttt, I woke up this morning to get dressed, not for you, but for ME. Because I liked the way I looked in the mirror, but when I come outside, I change my mind because I am fearful that you might give me a few odd stares or make a comment about my decision to flaunt my existence.
You don't deserve that power over me. I refuse to let people deny me, my right to exist. I refuse to let complete strangers affect my mood. I refuse to believe that I should be accepted by everybody. I don't want to be everyone's cup of tea, I would question my uniqueness. I refuse to let ''friends'' force me into depression because they are openly displeased about my look. No way. I want to know that when I live this life, I live it for me, not for you, not for him, or her, or them. I have been through too much, experienced so much, worked so much on myself for me to let people's views/comments/stares affect me.
I will carry myself boldy - my personality, my body, my being, my perspectives, my views, my sense of humour and my love for mac and cheese. I refuse to let people strap their jealous, envious, hateful and rotting anchor on my foot. You did not birth me, you did not go through the pain that my mother did to give birth to my amazing, wonderful being. I need to realise that me being here took work, who I am today took work. I am enough, and perfectly fine being me.
So no, I don't care about what you think of me, I don't care about your comments, because you are most likely trying to make up for your own deficiencies which makes things even worse. I won't carry your burdens. I'll keep it moving. I do not live for continuous external validation - the only and most important validation I need, is from myself.
This isn't to say that people won't make comments or stare or whatever, this is to say that you should never let it affect you. You will not please everybody, and that is perfectly fine. Don't give them the power. You are unique, and that's the consequence of being unique. But flaunt that uniqueness like no other.
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ALSO.
If you feel intimidated because of another woman's beauty or confidence, then you need to work on your own confidence. Every woman is unique, and remember that beauty is not solely based on the outer, but also on the inner. Let's not judge beauty by looks because there is more to a woman. Appreciate other women's beauty, and appreciate yours. Call a woman beautiful without starting to pick on yourself. Confident women do not hate on other women. We live in a sad and superficial society whereby women (even babies) are pitted against eachother - competing for attention. If you want to begin this journey of self-love, please remember that confidence is not about competition:
''Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.''
