#sevenyears

To Maggie (thegraytigress), 

I miss you every day. I wish you were with me on the day I returned to my writings. It felt so good to come back on the same day I left (November 28th). The way I was going to tell you was in an anonymous ask, instructing you to make sure you were in a room by yourself because I had good news for you that was going to make you scream.

I finally became independent of my parents! Yes! This was something I wanted to do since I came home from college and even more seriously when I was forced away from writing a year later. My return to writing was bittersweet. It was great to be back, but sad because I knew you weren’t there to celebrate with me. Because of that, I dedicated my story “A Love Misplaced” to you. Then again, that was the plan from the beginning because you were helping me get it right.

I wish you were here to be my beta reader. It was a bit of a challenge to write some of the scenes. I guess it’s because I knew the importance they had to the story as a whole. There were a couple times I thought about giving up, but I pushed through and as a result, I came up with some of the most heartfelt conversations between my characters. I learned something during “A Love Misplaced”; it’s easier to write a small section at a time and not stress about trying to write one whole chapter in one night.

I concluded “The Final Mission”, which was the last story in my Romanogers series a week ago. To say I am relived to be done is an understatement, and that’s mainly because of the four-year hiatus I was forced to take. It has been quite a journey with this series, and it got even better when I had someone to share it with and talk to each day.

I wish you were here to talk about all the new MCU content we got in the last few years: Infinity War, Endgame, Black Widow, Hawkeye. I wish you were here so I could share with you my initial reaction via emojis. I wish you were here so I could talk about a really good Black Widow comic book I started reading and am now anxiously awaiting the final two issues.  I wish you were here to talk to you about work and social life. I’m working my dream job and am seeing someone. I wish you were here to talk about my book. Its going great. I even became friends with a cardiologist.

I hope you are doing well. I am so sorry for what happened to you that led you to leaving the fandom. I wish I could’ve been there to talk to you. I wish I could’ve checked tumblr a little more often. Maybe I could’ve caught you before you left. I know you stopped talking to me in 2018, but I want you to know I would’ve tried to help you, or at least been a sounding board for you. I also want you to know that I am still praying for you.

Maybe one day you will come back to the fandom and we can talk again. I have a lot more stories planned in my head that I want to write and I’m sure you do too.

Your friend