》Tags/warnings: MDNI,highly suggestive, needy reader,emotional reader, Seungcheol in all black(YES THAT'S A WARNING!.. MAMA 2024 cheol never really stopped haunting me.) Also, use of absurdly sweet nicknames for reader. THEY ARE SO HOT, BUT ALSO SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY.
Masterlist
You're ogling at this point. It's obvious and you don't even care,you're blessed with the man of everyone's dream. Who's currently going around the room talking with everybody, sneaking glances at you when he feels you staring. He arches an eyebrow at you, and your response is just staring at him,tilting your head slightly as you lick your lip. He knows what you're doing, and he knows you aren't doing this purposely either. He knows the power he has over you. But he also knows you can control it better, without making it so obvious to everyone who might notice you staring at him.
He walks towards you after a while, black shirt,black tie,black pants, sleeves of his shirt rolled till his forearms. His walk holding authority, an aura that naturally comes with him. Your eyes are literally drinking him up.
He extends his hand to you,urging you to get up from the sofa. Your eyes sparkle, as you place your hand in his and get up.
He leads you to the balcony of your friends house and crowds you to the railing, caging you in between his strong frame and the railing. "You should behave, princess."
"What did I do?" You retort,your eyebrows shooting up.
"Oh, we both know what you did, no need to pretend. I think half of our friends saw you eye fucking me."
"Sue me for having a hot boyfriend then. " you shrug with a sigh,and he lets out a surprised laugh. "Baby, I know you can do better,hmm?" He lifts your chin with his fingers. "How about you behave till an hour, and we will go home earlier. If you fail.. then, well,Sadly we will have to stay here longer."
"Noo." You whine. "Then better behave." He removes his hand from your chin,giving you a fake sympathetic look with a shrug, and leaves.
He just leaves you standing there in the balcony,so much for your anticipation of atleast a kiss from him. You breath out a shaky sigh, followed by three deep breaths to calm yourself from what just happened. And to not think about him and 'behave' as he said. You smoothen your cherry red satin gown,shaking your head, as you go back to sit on your previous spot.
You pick up a champagne flute to keep yourself busy. "Ahmm ahmm" your bestfriend clears her throat dramatically, from where she's sitting beside you. "Whattt" you growl at her. "Damn, don't throw your claws at me just because your boyfriend didnt let you hit." You nearly choke on your drink. "Are you insane?" You scoff, "Stop spewing nonsense and drink some water,you reek of alcohol,you drunkard." You say snatching her drink from her hands, putting it on the table. "Uh-huh, and even in my drunk state i noticed your miserable, loser ass drooling over your boyfriend." She slurs out,annoying you further. "Fuck off,soyeon." Your face sets in a frown. She laughs at your misery,as you chug that champagne down your throat.
No, you don't overdrink, you know he's watching you even when you're trying to avoid looking at him. That doesn't last more than few minutes though, you keep glancing at him every now and then. But atleast you're not eating him with your eyes now.
You're just..admiring his beauty now,subtly. Not wanting to regret losing your control and staying at the party for longer.
He walks to you again after twenty minutes or so. May be he took a pity on you,seeing you sulk and frown.You look up expectantly. Only to meet with his sly smirk,"A dance, please?" He extends his hand again,like a deja vu. Your lip quivers with a smile, with a small roll of your eyes, you take his hand.
The touch of his hand on your hip burning into your skin, as he sways you softly to the music. "Glad you remember I exist." You say begrudgingly,not meeting his eyes as you stare ahead at his chest. He laughs, tilting your jaw to make you look up at him,"When did I ever forget you, my angel."
Though,you know he was just playing his game, keeping you on the edge, purposely staying physically away from you,even if he had his eyes on you the whole time, but that doesn't mean you can't be upset over it. "I dont know,may be when we entered the party, or how you sat total of ten minutes besides me, and then stood over there for seventy minutes to talk with literally every-fucking-one in this party." He chuckles again, despite himself. "Oh you counted?" Now he's just getting on your nerves.
"Fuck off,cheol." You roll your eyes. "Careful princess,i think i told you to behave." He says firmly, voice dipping an octave lower. You shiver under his hold,licking your lips,you sigh. Dropping your head on his shoulder, "sorry." You whisper. He kisses your hair,with a featherlight touch, his hands caressing your hips. He hums. "I didn't mean to upset you,doll. Just be a good girl for me,you know I'll take care of you well,don't you?" You clutch his shirt in your hand,heart racing, as you nudge your nose in his throat,to inhale him and calm yourself down."yes" you nod. He caresses your head. "Good girl. Let's go then?" You pull back from him to see if he's just messing with you again. He smiles,"No,I'm not messing with you. Let's go say goodbye to mingyu and others."
The whole drive home is spent in silence. He keeps looking at you,but you don’t look at him,staring out the window for your own sanity, and, well, also,because,you can't help but feel upset with him. He sighs,reaching for your hand, squeezing it. "Look at me." You gulp,but still turn your head to look at him. "Are you mad at me?"
"I-" you sigh "a little bit. We could've just left early, but instead you wanted me to suffer. When all I wanted was you. And more than that..I just.. I don't know I'm feeling weird, you know,i just finished my periods two days back,that's why may be ..i got emotional all of a sudden,sitting there waiting for you." His heart dips at that. "I'm sorry,baby. I didn't know you were feeling like that." You shake your head "It's fine.. how would you know." But he thinks he should have known. How could he not notice the subtle shift in your mood. He should have just taken you home sooner.
He removes your seat belt, helping you out of the car. Doesn't leave your hand the whole elevator ride and leads you to your shared apartment. Bends down to remove your heels for you. And picks you up in his arms, as you clutch to him like a koala.
You bury your face in his neck,peppering kisses, as he closes the door of your bedroom and presses you on it, he lets out a hiss,when you nibble on his skin. He grabs you by your nape to pull you back.
You look at him hungrily,he swipes your glossy lips with his thumb and dives forward. He kisses you senseless,wet and sloppy. As you mewl under his hold, he bites your lower lip and sucks your tongue,both of you moaning at the sensation.
He walks you to the bed,still kissing you, as if its him who was starved of you. May be he was, only he knows how he held himself back in that party, when you were looking at him like you wanted him to take you right then and there.
He puts a knee on the bed lowering you down as you pant. You stop him with your hand on his chest,before he fully lowers you down. He is confused for a second,but then you're sitting up and removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt hastily."fuck,cheol-i cant- I need to feel you, I need our clothes off,please." You try to breath. "I got you,my love,breath for me." He says,removing his clothes for you. You turn your back to him, "the zipper." He opens the zipper as you slide the dress down, throwing it on the floor. He grabs your cheek, giving you a harsh kiss as he lowers you down again.
Your hands are all over him, he's like a need that keeps burning,no matter how long it has been to your relationship, the fire won't cease between you two. You compliment each other so perfectly,that everyone who knows you two knows that you were meant to be. It's written all over you,it's written in between the small moments shared between you. It's written in your eyes,when you look at each other,even after five years of being together. The fire doesnt cease,it keeps increasing, if anything.
He's worshipping each inch of your body. Squeezing you,gripping you,imprinting himself on you as he knows you need right now. The sounds you let out fueling him on.
"Fuck,baby,you're so responsive today." He says squeezing the flesh of your thighs, as he hooks your knee on his back. Pressing himself on you. You moan again,at the feeling of his weight on you.
He takes care of every need of you. Whispering sweet praises in your ear. "You look so fucking beautiful today,how do I get to have you,angel."
"Only you can have me." You say,digging your nails in his back.
He groans,"God,baby,youu- are gonna kill me like this."
"Did I tell y-you,you looked hot today." You let out.
"No,but was pretty sure,the way you kept stripping me with your eyes." He says with a broken laugh.
He peppers your whole face in little kisses, once you both come down from the high. Sighing and basking in each other's warmth. He knows,if he gets up, you won't like it. So,he loops your arms on his neck and grabs you by your thighs, you still whine. "Gotta clean your make up and shower,baby." He says,rubbing your back while walking to the bathroom.
He does as he promised. Even dresses you up in his shirt, giving you a glass of water. He does this everytime, but it still feels a little warmer this time. He's being extra careful,taking care of you.
You pounce on him making him fall on the bed with a laugh. You take his face in your hands,squeezing his cheeks a little, your eyelids almost touching his,the way you're looking into his eyes. "I'm fine, stop overthinking it. It happens,it'll happen again,you just have to keep loving me like you do, got it?" He lets out a sigh.
You know,ofcourse you know him that well. "Yeah, I love you, I'll always love you." He nods taking one of your hand to his lips kissing it. His puppy eyes shining up at you. "I'll be better at noticing what you want."
"Oh,you noticed what i wanted just right." You say trailing your hand down his stomach. He groans,"Stop joking for once,seriously." But he still laughs at your shenanigans. Trying to hold your hands when you try to tickle him. "Hey-no-" he giggles.
He locks your arms in a hug,as he cuddles you, both of you panting from your tickle attack."I love you,baby." You say nudging his nose with yours. He smiles,pecking your lips. "Love you,angel. Now, Sleep."
Authors note: Being a couprang is a health hazard, a hug to my fellow couprangs. Hope you love this.
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The rain had stopped falling, but the cold still clung to the air like a second skin.
You were late.
Again.
Your phone buzzed with unread messages, most of them from the group chat stern reminders from Woozi, two short texts from Hoshi, and a long paragraph from S.Coups that you didn’t have the energy to finish.
It wasn’t because you didn’t care.
It was because your fingers were shaking too much to tap the screen.
And your vision? Blurry enough that the letters swam.
You hadn’t eaten in days. Nothing would stay down. Your head felt like it was cracking in half, and your body had been on fire all night. But the company had made it clear no breaks this week. Not even for a fever.
Come or lose your part.
So you came.
By the time you reached the practice room, makeup melting, hoodie soaked with sweat, and shoes dragging on the floor, you were already fighting not to crumble.
The moment you walked in, the room went silent.
Seventeen was already mid-practice synchronized, sharp, intense.
And then it stopped.
All eyes turned to you.
"You're late again," Woozi said first. Cold. Blunt.
"Seriously?" Hoshi’s voice rose, disappointment coloring every syllable.
"We’re all working our asses off here, and you just show up when you want?"
You swallowed thickly, throat burning raw. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
"That’s not good enough."
This time it was S.Coups, standing still in the center, jaw tight.
"You know how much this comeback means. What are you even doing lately? You skipped meals, practices, and now you think showing up late and saying sorry fixes it?"
You nodded slowly, eyes down.
Apologies poured from your mouth like whispers, but they only made the tension thicker.
No one noticed.
No one saw the pale color of your skin, the way your hand trembled on the bottle of water, or how your breathing was shallow.
Because they were hurt. And tired. And they assumed you just didn’t care.
So you danced.
You pushed yourself through the warm-up.
You pushed through the choreography.
Even when your vision blackened around the edges. Even when the floor spun.
Even when your chest seized up and it felt like something inside was trying to claw its way out.
Until your body gave out.
It started with a cough.
Then another.
Then blood splattered on your hand, your sleeve, the studio floor.
"Y/N…?" Seungkwan’s voice was the first to shift from anger to fear.
You staggered back, dizzy, trying to breathe trying to stay and then everything dropped out from under you.
The last thing you heard was Mingyu yelling your name and the sound of chaos exploding behind him.
Hospital Room – Hours Later
The beeping was soft.
Too soft for the way your body hurt.
You felt like you’d been cracked open, like your lungs had turned to glass.
Your eyes fluttered open slowly.
The light was dim. You were warm. And there were voices—low, urgent whispers.
"She was pushing herself so hard and none of us noticed."
S.Coups. He sounded wrecked. Guilty.
"She was coughing blood, hyung. Blood. We yelled at her like she was lazy or didn’t care."
That was DK.
"She hadn’t eaten in days. She was hiding how sick she was just to practice."
Jeonghan. You could hear him pacing.
And then the room fell silent again when they realized you were awake.
Your eyes met Woozi’s first. His face was pale.
He looked like he’d been crying.
"Y/N…" he whispered, stepping forward but stopping just short of your bed. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Your throat ached, and your voice was barely above a whisper.
“Would it have changed anything?”
They all froze.
Because you were right.
They’d been angry.
Frustrated.
So wrapped up in the pressure, the stress of the comeback, the perfection they hadn’t seen you.
Tears welled up in your eyes, exhaustion overwhelming everything else. “I didn’t want to be the weak link. I didn’t want you all to hate me.”
And then
A hand reached out.
Hoshi. His eyes glassy, jaw trembling.
"You’re not the weak link."
"You’re our member. Our family."
One by one, the others approached quiet apologies, soft reassurances, fingers gently brushing your shoulder or hand.
Seungkwan placed a small bento box next to your bed. “We made sure it’s soft food. You’re not leaving this bed till you eat.”
Mingyu set a fuzzy blanket over you. “From the dorm. It smells like home.”
And S.Coups… knelt by your bedside, head bowed low.
"I’m sorry we made you feel like you had to destroy yourself to stay."
You didn’t cry then.
You just nodded. Let yourself feel seen. Let yourself feel loved.
The room was still full of guilt and regret.
But also warmth. Care. Healing.
And you knew
This time, you wouldn’t have to push alone.
first actual ..... x reader fic but idk if it went well.. ✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
sorry for making it so short!₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
english is not my first language so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes!
idk what happened but i was sure someone requested this !₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
thank you for the idea!
The sound of keyboard clicks fills your apartment while you lay sprawled half asleep on his bed, the room is dark and the only source of light came from Vernon's monitor and RGB keyboard. His voice echoes in the room as he speaks to his chat.
"Yo chat, should I go to bed?" Vernon mumbled lazily, leaning back in his chair, making it creak beneath his weight.
"My girl is sleepy and I think I should log off before she gets mad at me for staying up this late"
He glanced back at you before looking at his chat again, the comments already exploding with people begging him to play one more game
"Okay then, one more game" he hummed quietly into the mic, adjusting his posture to sit straight as he started yet another round of the game he'd been playing all night.
You let out a tired groan from his bed, burying your face deeper into his pillow, the fabric had a faint scent of his cologne.
Vernon glanced back for a second, his headset almost slipping off as he smiled softly at your sleepy form
"See? she's already mad"
the chat flooded with messages telling him to go sleep
"Relax chat, I'll survive" he mumbled, running a hand through his hair as he continued playing
Not even ten minutes later you felt the mattress dip slightly beside you
"You lost already?" you mumbled sleepily
"Nah" Vernon replied, pulling you into a warm hug from behind "I just like you more than ranked."
Woozi X Reader || “She stopped waiting. He finally looked up.”
The corner seat by the café window had always been your favorite. You liked how the light hit your sketchbook there, soft and unbothered. You swirled your coffee with the tiny wooden stirrer, watching the foam dissolve as you flipped to a blank page. No messages from Jihoon. Not that you expected one.
It wasn’t like you were angry. You had stopped waiting for him to change, and instead changed something in yourself. You picked up hobbies you used to shelve. Said yes to group texts you used to ignore. You weren’t lonely. You were starting to remember who you were before late studio nights turned into cold dinners and silence.
You didn’t want to leave him. But you couldn’t keep putting yourself on pause either.
So you pressed play.
“Hey y/n, u free?”
You glanced at the empty chat for Jihoon.
“Always!!! Whats up”
Jihoon pushed the door open and immediately knew you weren’t home. The light in the kitchen was off. No keys on the hook. No leftovers on the stove, labeled with a sticky note describing whatever H/c- korean blend you came up with.
He dropped his bag and checked his phone. Nothing from you. He opened Instagram. Your story was mid-laughter, a group selfie: your eyes crinkled, cheeks flushed from laughing.
You looked…happy?
When was the last time you smiled at him like that?
He stared longer than he meant to. Then he texted: home?
Soon :)
He typed and deleted five different responses. "Where are you?" sounded too much. "With who?" sounded worse.
He locked the phone and stared at the ceiling.
A week had passed since then. You had come home full of tipsy giggles, hand clutching your oversized leather jacket. Nothing but a sloppy kiss on his cheek to explain your absence. You twirled your way towards the bathroom, yelling out “night Woozi baby” joyfully before the door slammed heavily. Followed by an offkey performance of “96ers,” muffled by the shower.
“Goodnight,” he muttered.
He didn’t mean to follow the crowd, but the gallery was on his usual route home and the idea of returning to the apartment knowing you weren't there didn't sound very appealing to him. He pulled his mask up and stepped into the modern space. Glancing around before pausing—you were wearing that brown jacket he liked. A sketchbook in hand. Head thrown back in laughter at something some guy with dyed hair said.
Jihoon approached slowly.
You looked up and smiled, surprised. "Jihoon? What are you doing here?"
"Didn’t know you were into this stuff," he said, looking around at the art-covered walls.
You shrugged. "You didn’t ask."
That hit a little too clean.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. "He your new boyfriend?"
You blinked, eyes wandering to your classmate who started to chat up a nearby artist. "That guy? No. He’s in my class."
"You’re taking classes?"
"Yeah," you said, matter-of-fact. "I’ve been doing a lot lately."
Another week passed before Jihoon worked up the courage to ask questions.
You got home before him. For once.
He walked in around midnight and paused when he saw you at the table, headphones in, editing photos.
"Can we talk?"
You didn’t look up right away. You finished cropping the image before sliding one side of your headphones off. "About what exactly?"
He hesitated. "Are you... pulling away?"
You let out a short breath, barely a laugh. "Is that what this feels like to you? Pulling away?"
"It feels different."
"Good," you said, more sharply than you meant to. "It is different. I’m not rearranging my life around your schedule anymore. That’s not distance. That’s dignity."
He sat down across from you slowly, unsure.
"I noticed," he said. "And I don’t like it."
You leaned back in your chair, arms crossed. "Why? Because I’m not home like a porch light every night? Because someone else is getting my attention for once?"
His eyes flickered. "Because I miss you. Because it’s not the same."
You narrowed your gaze. "It’s not supposed to be. You can’t keep showing up late to your own relationship and expect me to be waiting by the door."
"That’s not fair—"
"No," you cut in. "What’s not fair is me shrinking myself so small you didn’t even notice I was disappearing. I used to think love meant patience. But I’ve been patient enough, Jihoon. I’ve been invisible."
He looked stunned, but didn’t argue.
"I looked up today," he said quietly, voice breaking a little. "And you weren’t there."
You stared at him, jaw tight. "I was never gone. You just didn’t look up soon enough."
There was a long silence.
Then he reached across the table, not grabbing—just resting his hand open, palm up, in the space between you.
"I’m looking now," he said.
You looked at his hand, then at him. There was no apology in your eyes, but there wasn’t anger anymore either—just exhaustion. And care.
You didn't grab his hand, but what you said next was enough.
“Thank you.”
The next week, he didn’t just text. He showed up.
He brought you coffee. Walked with you to your workshop. Asked questions and actually listened.
One night, you were painting at the kitchen table. He came home late, again. But instead of retreating to his studio, he pulled up a chair beside you.
You didn’t stop working, but he stayed close, watching.
"I like this you," he said after a while.
You paused. Wiped a smudge from your cheek.
"This me was always here."
He took your hand. This time, you let him.
Back to the beginning. I'm not completely sure what my first fic posted here was, but i know it was a Woozi one. and in honor of that i wanted my first re-published fic to be my fav Woozi fic ive written.
hey bestie! sorry this took a minute to come out! hopefully i interpreted this correctly, so i’ll be ranking them by dick size, but if this isn’t what you were looking for, please let me know and i’ll rewrite it! :’) thank you to my svthub darlings for helping out with this one! 🤍
to me personally lol, i think all of them are carrying a lil something down there 😋 please feel free to (respectfully!) discuss your opinions on this cause this was fun to write!
big boys (long & girthy, or long & a little slender - regardless, just their tip will have you seeing the back of your eyelids)
-seungcheol
-wonwoo
-mingyu
-seokmin
-junhui
-joshua
-jihoon
-seungkwan
-chan
-soonyoung
-vernon
-minghao
-jeonghan
average joes (not too big, but they’re not small and short either 👀)
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the type to proudly ask for kisses, not at all shy. just like "where are my kisses hm", he'll say, standing at the doorway. you quickly peck his lips as otherwise you'll be late, but that's not enough. "that's not a kiss babe, that's a peck", he'll explain, blocking your way. "so, the same thing", you reply, looking at him. "what no it's not", he says, taking a step forwards, his hand snaking around your waist as he pulls you in for a kiss that leaves you breathless. "now that's a kiss", he mumbles against your lips, a mischievous smile playing on his face.
dokyeom, vernon, jun, dino
he'll like subtly ask for kisses like maybe just pout his lips a bit extra and maybe point to his cheek as he asks for a kiss or two. he'll kiss your temple and your cheek, thinking you'll kiss him back but you don't and he's so confused. finally asks for kisses and you laugh softly as you finally kiss him.
wonwoo, joshua, woozi, minghao
he'll be extra clingy and affectionate while asking for kisses, holding you hand and giving you the warmest hugs as he holds you, whispering about how he wants kisses in your ear with the softest smile on his face <3
“You said that you were going to be able to pick her up from school today… What? What do you mean you’re in the airport?! Where the h- … You can’t just promise her something and then not follow through with it. She’s been looking forward to seeing you all week. Yeah… Yeah okay… Bye.” With an exasperated sigh he hung up his phone, finally looking in your direction as he came up to the classroom door that you were standing outside of. You had heard the entire conversation, something that he was well aware of judging by the sheepish look on his face as he looked at you, but it wasn’t something that you would pry him about. “Sorry about that… And I’m sorry that I have to bring her in so early, I’m just so busy and-” You held up your hand, shaking your head as you looked down at his daughter. You knew who he was and you knew what he did, everyone knew what he did, and that’s one of the main reasons he had to bring his daughter to the classroom early.
“If you need me to keep her after class a little longer that’s fine. We can watch movies and I have a whole cabinet full of snacks and games that we can play too.” You said, hoping to ease his visibly worried mind, and as if your words were a ray of sunshine for him, his all too familiar smile that you had seen all over television screens and on YouTube had spread across his face again. He let out a sigh of relief, placing his daughter’s hand in your own before kneeling down in front of her and pressing a quick kiss against her forehead.
“Be good for Ms. Y/N. Me or one of your uncles will be here to pick you up as soon as we can.” He murmured to her, his tone completely different from the annoyance that had filled it while he was speaking on the phone. “Thank you so much…” He said as he stood back up, his eyes meeting yours for only a second before you both looked away from each other, your eyes averting to anywhere but the others. “I’ll try to be back as soon as I’m finished working. I’m really sorry if this is an inconvenience for you and, please, just let me know if it is. I can try to find a babysitter it’s just really hard and-”
You tsked your tongue, shaking your head once more at his worried ramblings. “It’s quite alright, really. Chohee is wonderful, and… well, I don’t really have anyone to go back home too after work so, I don’t mind at all. Don’t have the guys or yourself rushing over here to pick her up either, I’d rather you or them get here safely than to hear that something awful has happened on your way over. Plus, if she gets hungry, I’m sure I can order something and have it delivered to the classroom, as long as it’s okay with you.”
He nodded quickly, and you could almost see the weight that your words had lifted off his shoulders, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’re truly a lifesaver. Thank you so much. I’ll call the school and let them know when myself or one of the guys are on their way. Thank you again, so much.” He smiled at you before quickly lowering his eyes to his daughter who was still looking up at him with what looked like stars in her eyes. “Remember, be a good girl. Next time I’m off I promise you and I will do something super fun together, whatever you’d like. I love you, Chohee, I’ll see you after school.” He kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed them to the top of her head before nodding to you once more and turning to walk away. He was a good father, he was trying his best to make the best out of everything, he was doing his best to give his daughter the best, but you could see how hard it was on him and it made your heart ache to see him so stressed out.
“What do you mean Hajoon isn’t getting her? She promised that she’d pick Chohee up from school and have her this weekend…” Jeonghan said from across the table, his head tilted in confusion at Seungcheol as he tried to make sense of what had just been told to him. They were going to be shooting a new music video this weekend, it had been set up that way for weeks because Seungcheol had specifically asked weeks in advance to make sure Chohees mother would pick her up and keep her for the weekend. “So now what?”
Seungcheol shook his head, his fingers drumming on the table as he let out a loud sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t even know how I’m going to pick her up from school today. I’m so busy and I’m trying my best to be a good father to Chohee all while being a good leader for the group and it’s just getting more and more difficult.” His arms folded on the table in front of him and he quickly dropped his head down onto them, grunting quietly, unable to fully contain his frsutrations. “I don’t know what I’d do if her teacher didn’t offer to stay after with her every time I needed it.”
Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, more interested than confused now at the sudden mention of Chohees teacher that he had never gotten to meet yet. He hadn’t even heard about you before, and everytime Seungcheol stayed later at work, he had just assumed that his mother had picked up Chohee. “Wait… She’s being watched by her teacher? Isn’t she in preschool? She’s only four… Do you really trust her teacher to look after her that way? Wouldn’t you want your mom to get her instead?” Of course Jeonghan was worried about Chohee, she was basically his niece and he loved her as such. He was there when she was first born, waiting outside of the delivery room to finally meet her and congratulate his best friend on the birth of his first daughter. Since that day, he’s been there for everything, including the trainwreck of a breakup that left Chohee with Seungcheol who was trying to keep himself together while keeping everything else in his life together at the same time. It was the lowest any of the members had ever seen him and none of them wanted to see him that low ever again.
“At this point, I trust Chohees teacher more than her own mother.” Seungcheol stated matter of factly, pushing himself away from the table and standing up. “I can’t just keep handing her off to my mother every time Hajoon changes her mind about being a mother.” He pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation, the smile that is usually worn on his face was completely gone, not a trace of it seen in his features at this point. “I’m sorry, I just need to figure out what I’m going to do this weekend with her… Maybe I can get my mom to help watch her on Saturday and then I’ll get her Sunday…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he turned to walk out of the lunch room, offering a small wave to Jeonghan who was still sitting at the table.
It’s not even that he was just worried about the weekends, he was worried about the summer and what he’d do when he couldn’t take Chohee to school anymore. Thinking that way had him feeling even worse though, like he was the world's worst father because he depended on his daughter's teacher to watch her just so he could go to work. It’s like he had to make a choice between being an idol or being a father and it wasn’t a choice that he ever thought he’d have to make. This wasn’t how he thought his life would go, he didn’t even think he’d have a kid yet, and while he didn’t think of Chohee as a mistake, he knew that she had come too early in his life, and she had come to him from the wrong person, but he couldn’t just give her up.
The way that he had met Hajoon wasn’t one that he’d want to tell his daughter, not until she was much older anyway, and that should have been a sign in itself that the relationship he thought would bloom just wasn’t obtainable. He should have seen the sign, but after a slightly tipsy one night stand and an exchange of numbers and then two months without a single text from her, he had gotten one. He didn’t believe her at first, he didn’t want to believe her because he still had his entire career, his entire life in front of him, but she insisted and he believed her. Throughout the entire pregnancy it seemed like things were going perfectly, he really felt like everything would be fine. Hajoon seemed to have settled down, and for the next six months of the pregnancy, it was like all of his worries flew out the window. He never would have thought that once Chohee was born that Hajoon would walk out like it was nothing, like she wasn’t leaving anything behind. His heart had been torn to pieces and he felt completely helpless, holding his only 2 month old daughter in his arms as he watched the woman that he thought he would make his wife walk out the door.
All sense of trust walked out the door with her, as if she packed it up in the bags she rolled behind her and now he couldn’t see himself with anyone else. How could he possibly trust anyone after what had happened to him? It was the longest con, and for what? He was left with a child who had won his heart the second he saw her, but he knew that his job would keep him from being the father that she deserved to have. Was it fair to keep her with him even if that was the case? He wasn’t sure, but all he did know was that he was trying his best, he was doing everything to give his daughter the best and to love her as much as he could when he was around, it was the only thing he felt like he could do. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d be a single father, yet here he was.
Even still, no matter how hard things got for him, there was nothing in the world that he’d trade his life for. He knew that one day he’d become a master at balancing his home life and his work life, it was a matter of time, and at some point he’d get it right. He truly loved his daughter, and when things would get hard or when he felt like everything was falling apart around him, all he had to do was look at her and see her smile and it helped him calm down, it made him see that things weren’t so bad, she was the light that he needed.
As he climbed into his car he let out a small sigh of relief knowing that he’d soon see his daughter, and while he was unsure of what he was going to do this weekend to make sure that she’d be watched and cared for, he knew that he’d be able to figure it out once he calmed down. He tried really hard not to let the stress of everything get to him which was easier said than done, but he found that it was easier to stay calm and let himself think when he had Chohee with him. He didn’t want her to see him upset or stressed, he didn’t want her to think that it was her fault that he was feeling that way.
He finally pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket, turning it on for the first time since he’s been at the office. One notification popped up on his screen that caught his eye, his heart freezing momentarily only to start racing once more as his fingers fumbled to type in his passcode. It wasn’t often that you called him, it was so rare that right now seemed like the first time you had which only had him panicking more as he dialed the number back and shoved his key into the ignition. His entire body was shaking as he put his car into drive, the ringing sound still coming through his phone which was on speaker in the center console, the silence that followed each ring only had his stomach sinking deeper as he raced towards the school.
“Hi, Seungcheol. This is Y/N, I was just…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, the sound of your voice coming through his phone had him immediately cutting you off, his mouth spilling out a slew of questions faster than you could even answer them, his main question being if Chohee was alright, if anything had happened to her. All he wanted to know was that his baby was okay, and then the sound of your giggling filled the silence of his car and he didn’t know whether to relax or be annoyed that you apparently thought his worrying was funny. “There’s no need for you to worry, Chohee is alright. We’re watching Finding Nemo. I called earlier to ask if it was okay if we had a little popcorn while we watched it, but she insisted that it was okay, so we had it anyway. It’s been an hour since then, so… I’m sorry for worrying you in any way. I just wanted to be sure…”
Popcorn. You had called him to ask if popcorn was okay, and now he was the one laughing, albeit sheepishly, at how worked up he had gotten. He had every right to worry about his daughter when she wasn’t with him, but he also had the tendency to overreact a little bit, something that he was highly aware of and something that he immediately felt bad about once he knew that everything was alright. “No, no, I’m sorry for coming at you like that… I just got a little panicky.” He let out an awkward chuckle, running his hand through his hair as he continued driving, feeling himself relax more and more the closer he got to his daughter. “Has she been good though? I know I’m pretty late picking her up, I’m sorry. I hope that she hasn’t given you any problems.” Usually Chohee would get fussy if he didn’t pick her up on time or if she was left with anyone a little longer than she was used to, it was one of the reasons he couldn’t leave her with his own mother longer than a weekend.
“Problems? Not at all. Chohee has been an absolute sweetheart, I really don’t mind having her stay after.” You said, and he could hear the sound of quiet crunching as you popped another piece of popcorn into your mouth. “She’s actually taking a small nap right now because the movie ended, I hope that isn’t going to affect her going to sleep tonight.” Shocked was the only way he would be able to describe the way he felt right now. Chohee rarely allowed herself to fall asleep at nap time unless she was at home in her own bed, and he was the one that had to get everything set up and just right so that she’d actually fall asleep. His mother would always call him, asking him how he managed to get Chohee to sleep, as if it were impossible to do, yet here you were accomplishing it as if it were no big deal. “I’m really going to miss having her around once summer break comes around.” You said, but your words had Seungcheol thinking way too hard, the gears of his mind whirring as it filled with questions of what he’d actually do once summer came.
“Summer break…” He murmured, unsure of it his phone even picked up his voice for you to hear, but he didn’t know what else to say. The two words were looming over his head like a dark cloud. Of course he’d try to do as much as he could with Chohee while she was on break, but it would be even harder for him to do his job when he always had her, and he really didn’t want to place the responsibility on his own mother either. “So uhm… Are you tutoring or anything this summer? Are you doing any extracurricular classes?” A part of him was interested, but the other part of him, the part that felt awful for even questioning what you were doing during the summer, that part of him wanted to know if there was any way for you to watch Chohee during the summer as well.
You hummed softly before responding, giving him a soft no that sent his hopes barreling into a downward spiral. “I don’t really have anything to do during the break. I actually need to find a part time job to fill the gap that’ll be there… and so I can pay my bills…” You paused momentarily before clearing your throat with a few quick coughs. “But if you need some recommendations for some tutors or some extra fun little classes that I think she’d love, I’m sure I can send you some of the information to sign up for one of them.” He hated the idea of it, putting Chohee into the care of someone that he doesn’t know at all. There was something about you, hearing you talk, having an actual conversation with you and hearing the way you spoke about his daughter that made him certain that his daughter was safe with you. He couldn’t just hand her off to another teacher and expect them to be as good with her as you are. It wouldn’t be that easy, he knew it wouldn’t, not only because of his own feelings towards the matter, but also because he knew the way that Chohee was.
“Yeah… Yeah I’ll think about it.” He murmured, nodding his head slowly as he stared out the windshield of his car. There was nothing to think about though, he had already thought enough about it. He wasn’t just going to put Chohee in some random class for the summer or make her join some extra activity that she’d most likely get bored of within the first couple days anyway. Like Jeonghan had said earlier, she’s only four, and being that young meant that her attention span wasn’t going to allow her to stay focused on something much longer than a week tops before it didn’t catch and hold her attention anymore. “I’m almost to the school by the way, I’ll be there soon.” He said quickly, trying to fill the silence that had taken over the car when you hadn’t said anything. He didn’t even wait for your response before his finger came down on the little red button to end the call. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly he was going to do, all he did know was that he needed to figure something out before the summer, and there was one thing, one option in particular that was stuck in the forefront of his brain, he just needed to make sure it was doable, then it would become his one and only choice.
The parking lot to the school was practically empty aside from one car, one car that he could only assume was your own since you were the only one in the building. Seungcheol parked quickly next to it, rushing out of the vehicle and running down the sidewalk to get to the little side door that led into the classroom that he had dropped his daughter off earlier that morning. He didn’t notice at first, but the closer he got, the more he could see that the door to the classroom was already propped open, the sight of it initially causing his heart to sink as he picked up the pace. It wasn’t until he got right next to the door that he realized your head slightly peeking out of it with one of your fingers pressed against your lips. “She fell asleep watching Nemo and… Well she just looks so peaceful while she’s sleeping and I know how babies get when they’re woken up from naps and they’re not ready to face the rest of the day yet.” You giggled softly, trying to muffle the laughter in the palm of your hand as you walked back into the class alongside him. “I really hope you don’t mind that I let her sleep though, it might be kind of hard to get her to bed tonight…” You murmured sheepishly, standing next to your desk and fumbling through the papers that were strewn about it.
He watched you intently, and while most of the time he’d look at you as nothing more than Chohees teacher, it seemed like he was seeing you in a new light with a new set of eyes. There was a glow about you that he couldn’t quite place his finger on. Maybe it was the way the corner of your mouth twitched up into a small smile as you looked over the drawings that the other kids in the Pre-K class had made, drawings that he couldn’t quite make sense of himself, but you saw in the scribbled art something that only you could see. It could have been that, it could have also been the way that you talked to him, the way you talked about his daughter, the way you treated them both as if they were humans, as if she wasn’t the daughter of a k-pop idol, as if he wasn’t a k-pop idol himself. To you, he was just Choi Seungcheol, the father of Choi Chohee. “Don’t worry about her bedtime, she knows when she needs to sleep at night.” He said, trying to match the quiet tone that you were keeping with him, not wanting his daughter to wake up just yet. “Do you uh… do you keep sleeping bags and stuff in your class for all the students?” He questioned, noticing the pretty pink floral cot that his daughter was sleeping on, a fluffy pillow tucked under her head and a plush animal snug within her arms under the blanket.
You hummed softly, shaking your head as you continued sorting out the papers. “Ah… no… I uhm, I brought it in because she usually stays a little later than the rest of the class and we watch movies… I know how uncomfortable the floor is… so I just got a little cot for her. I hope that’s alright.” Finally looking up from the papers, your eyes met his own and he didn’t know whether he was in love or in awe, maybe a bit of both, at how much you seemed to care about his daughter. “I’m sorry, I should have asked before I did that… I just wanted her to be comfortable…” You said quickly, apparently taking his silence as disapproval.
His hands moved up in the air as he shook his head, not disapproving what you had told him in the slightest, more so, he was in disbelief. You seemed to care more about his daughter than her own mother did, and you surely did more for her than her mother did, it was just something that shocked him. “Thank you. I probably say that way too much, but you really don’t know how much it helps, how much it means to me that there’s someone like you that cares about Chohee as much as you do.” There was nothing else he could say, he wanted you to know how appreciative he was of everything that you did for his daughter because it truly meant the world to him, but he also felt the need to get closer to you building up inside of him.
“Oh…” You whispered, the word coming out as more of a breath than anything else, and he could tell that his words had made you flustered. “It’s really no problem at all. She keeps me company while I’m going through papers and work and stuff, and it’s been a while since I’ve had company while watching a movie.” You let out a sheepish giggle, finally finding the paper that you were apparently looking for and handing it to him. “Here, she drew this. She wanted you to have it and she said something about hanging it on the fridge with all her other drawings… In not that many words but, I understood what she meant.” The paper was slipped between his fingers and it took a couple seconds for him to understand what was going on in the picture, but the neat writing of who was who in the picture helped him catch on rather quickly.
Three stick figures were lined along the page, one was shorter than the rest and he immediately knew that was his daughter without the help of her name and the arrow above her head. His stick figure was standing next to his daughter, the stick arms connected as if he were holding her hand in the picture and he couldn’t contain the small smile that he felt pulling at his lips when he saw it, but the smile immediately fell when he saw the other stick figure. It was on the complete other side, and he could only assume that it was a representation of Chohees mother, it even had the word mom written above it, although it wasn’t often that Chohee even saw her mother. There were two squares in the picture too, which must have been a representation of his house and her mothers house and the longer he looked at the picture, the more it felt like his heart was breaking. “Thank you…” He whispered, and before he could continue, both his and your eyes shot up at the sound of Chohee stirring in the little sleeping bag.
“Daddy!” She cheered as her eyes blinked away the sleep and finally focused in on him, her tiny legs scrambling to kick away the sleeping bag blanket and push herself up to run over to him. His arms immediately outstretched to catch her in them, swooping her up and holding her against his chest as her own arms wrapped around his neck.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see you smiling softly at him, your head bowed towards your desk trying to make it seem like you weren’t watching, but he knew you were. “Let’s get going. I’m sure Ms. Y/N wants to get home and get some sleep too. Tell her goodbye, and you’ll see her in two more days.” He said, gently setting Chohee back down on her feet, taking a step back to let his daughter go. He wasn’t expecting her to run over to you, her little arms wrapping around your legs and clinging onto you as a small pout formed on her lips.
“You come home too…” She said, trying to hold back the whine in her voice. “I love you…” It was shocking to say the least, hearing his daughter say those words to anyone other than him and his own family, and it seemed like even you were shocked to hear them. Your eyes darted between him and Chohee as you tried to think of what to say. “Please…” Your lips parted slightly only to shut again, unable to think of what to say in response, your eyes meeting Seungcheols as if questioning him on what you should say.
“Cho… Honey… Ms. Y/N has to go home… to her own home and eat and get some sleep.” He tried to say as sweetly as possible, hoping that his daughter would understand as he tried to softly pry her off your legs. “You’ll see her again soon.” He said, lifting her up into his arms and snuggling her against his chest, the quiet sniffles coming from his daughter as she buried her face in his shoulder were heart shattering, but he didn’t know what to do. “I’m so sorry for that… She never does that. I’ll see you Monday morning…” He said quickly to you, turning around to head out the door.
“Let me know if she’s alright when you get home. If she wants, if it’s alright with you, you can call and I’ll talk to her on the phone if she’s still upset.” Not even her mother would have done something like that for her, but you were offering. He nodded his head, giving you a small smile as he walked out of the classroom, his heart and his mind torn on what to do. Of course he wanted his daughter to be happy, but he obviously couldn’t just move you into his house to make her happy. He was sure that the only reason she was acting this way today was because her mother was supposed to pick her up and ended up letting her down. She wanted to feel some type of motherly bond with someone and that person just ended up being you today. He’d just have to explain to Chohee that you were her teacher and nothing else, or maybe she’d just forget about it anyway and he wouldn’t have to break that news to her in the first place. Even still, he might have been able to come up with a solution for what his daughter was going through, but that still left him with his own thoughts and his own emotions that he didn’t quite know how to handle.
Chohee sat in her carseat in the back row of the car, her head bowed as she focused on his phone that he had handed her to keep her occupied while he drove. “So… Did you have fun today?” He questioned, wanting to know all about her day, not only because he felt like it was his job to know these things, but also because he was intrigued as to why she acted the way she did when he had to take her home. Chohee hummed softly, nodding her head in agreement, a motion that he would have missed if he hadn’t been at a red light and looking at her through the rearview mirror. “That’s good. What movie did you watch?” He pressed further, and while he had already been told by you, he wanted to hear what Chohee had to say.
She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she placed the phone off to the side, her arms folding in front of her chest as she looked straight at the back of his head. “Nemo. I like the fishies. I had popcorn. We cried at the ‘ginning of the movie… mean shark ate the baby fishies. But first I did my work with everyone else… Then they went home. I got to play outside two times on the slides though. I drew a pretty picture for the kitchen too.” She had gone through what seemed like the complete itinerary of what her day had consisted of, telling him about it as if she were an adult herself. He hated the idea of that, the thought of her growing up, knowing that he’s missing out on a majority of everything that happens in her life because of his job. “She said I call her if I upset…” Seungcheol hadn’t thought that she would have caught what she said, he didn’t think she’d actually want to do something like that either, but he knew that there was a reason Chohee was bringing it up. “I upset enough…? I wanna talk to her…”
His eyebrows lowered over his eyes as he took the turn onto his homestreet, glancing at her through the rearview mirror as she grabbed the phone off the side seat and began swiping across it again. “You don’t have to be upset to call Ms. Y/N, she just thought that maybe you’d want to talk to her more if you were upset already.” He explained, not wanting his daughter thinking that she needed to be sad or upset in the slightest bit just to talk to someone. “And I want to talk to you first when we get home. I barely get to see you because I’m working so much. I miss you, honey bunny.” And that was the entire truth. He felt like when he was away from her, an entire half of himself was missing. She was his everything, she’s who made him who he was now, and when he wasn’t with her he just didn’t feel like himself. The most he wanted when he did get to see her was to have a couple minutes with her before she ran off to play with her toys.
She reluctantly agreed to talking to him, the sound coming out as more of a huff as he pulled into the driveway, her tiny hands already working at the car seat straps that held her in. It seemed like she was growing up too fast and it felt like he was missing all of it. “What we talking about?” She mused, hopping out of her seat once he had pulled the keys from the ignition, leaning over the center console to look at him. “You wanna talk about Nemo?” The question was so wholesome, so sweet, and while it wasn’t exactly on his list of things he wanted to talk to her about, the way she asked it was far too adorable to say no to, so he simply nodded, climbing out of the car and quickly making his way around to the back to let her out.
From the moment she stepped foot onto the pavement outside of the car she was talking nonstop about the movie. She spoke of it as if she had never seen it before, although he was sure that Seungkwan or Joshua had watched it with her already. She went through the entire plot, her entire body moving animatedly as she sat next to him on the couch, a chubby cheeked smile spread across her face as she spoke. He couldn’t bring himself to cut her off, she was so excited, so he listened intently, nodding and humming softly whenever she paused and looked to him to make sure he was still listening. It took almost half an hour for her to finally finish telling him about the movie, and by that time he had almost forgotten what he really wanted to talk about. He wouldn’t have remembered it if she hadn't brought it up. “Are you going to hang my art on the fridge, daddy?” She asked, looking down at the tiny corner of the white paper that was sticking out of his pants pocket.
He nodded quickly, pulling the paper out of his pocket and unfolding it carefully to lay in his lap. “Tell me about the drawing first.” He said, trying to keep his voice light and cheerful so she wouldn’t get upset, although seeing it himself had him swallowing back the lump that was slowly building in his throat. “I know that that’s me and you… right?” She nodded in agreement, beaming proudly up at him as she pointed to the two stick figures that depicted the both of them. “You did a really good job on us. I really like the way you colored the house pink and yellow, it’s super pretty.” Her smile somehow grew wider at the compliment, her eyes turning into crescents from her puffy cheeks pushing up against them. Now it was time for the hard part, he had to ask about the other stick figure, the one that was so distant from the other two. He didn’t want to upset her, but he didn’t want her to feel like she had to bottle up any of her feelings that she might have about her mom, he wanted her to know that it was okay to talk about it.
Before he had the chance to utter the first word in the question, her tiny little finger came down on the smaller square next to the stick figure that was labeled as her mother, but her smile never faltered like he thought it would. “And that’s my classroom…” Her finger slid to the stick figure, tapping against it repeatedly with what he could only assume was excitement. “And that’s mom… You call her Ms. Y/N… That’s weird. Can I call her? When is she coming home?”
As hard as he tried, he couldn’t contain the expression of shock that spread across his face when she said it, and his expression was only a visual of a quarter of the shock that he actually felt from hearing her say it. “Well… That’s…” He didn’t know what to say or how to respond to such a thing. Chohee knew who her mother was, at least he tried to make sure that she did. Then again, it wasn’t really something that he could control if his daughter felt that kind of connection to someone other than her own biological mother. It wasn’t exactly his fault that Hajoon wasn’t ever around and he wasn’t going to try to tell Chohee that the way that she was feeling was bad… He’d just have to explain to her that you weren’t her mother. “Do you call Ms. Y/N mom when you’re at school?” He asked, sheepishly and almost afraid to hear her answer, and he let out a soft sigh of relief when she shook her head no. “You do know that… well… she’s not actually your mom… right, honey?” He gnawed on his bottom lip nervously as he watched her face, her little legs dangling and swinging over the edge of the couch as she looked straight out into the room, deep in thought.
“Hmph…” She grumbled, swinging her legs faster, kicking them against the bottom of the couch in frustration as she tried to understand her own thought process. “But… Mom not around… so… Ms. Y/N…” She said your name mockingly in the way that Seungcheol would say it, and he was taken aback to say the least at how sassy she sounded. “She like my mom… but I know… she not…” It was as if saying it made her realize that the words were true, and that realization had a tiny frown forming on her face, her bottom lip jutting out as she pushed herself off the couch and sulked into her bedroom leaving Seungcheol on the couch feeling utterly confused and conflicted on what to do.
“So let me get this straight… You’re going to ask her teacher over for dinner?” Jeonghan repeated what Seungcheol had just told him. Now that Chohee had left to spend the weekend with his mother, he felt like he could really talk about what was going on and how he felt, but he couldn’t talk to you yet, he needed to talk to one of the other members first. They were like his brothers and he wanted to hear from them if they felt like the choice he was thinking about making seemed right, not only for him, but for Chohee as well. “Did you try to explain to Cho that her teacher isn’t her mom, that she’s just a really nice lady?”
Seungcheol groaned in frustration, pacing around the length of his bedroom, his legs unable to keep still now that he was left alone with all of his thoughts. “Of course I did. It’s not really easy to tell a four year old that the way they feel isn’t correct… Plus, I mean… with the way that Hajoon is, do you really expect Chohee to look at her as her mother?” Jeonghan mumbled something that sounded like a you’re right into the speaker, but before he could say anything in response, Seungcheol continued. “And, it’s not like anything is going to come of it, I just need to talk to her, have a legitimate conversation without a bunch of kids or Chohee around.” He wasn’t exactly lying about the first part, but he wasn’t really telling the truth either. He didn’t really know what was going to happen, but he knew that something had sparked within him when he saw the way you were with his daughter, he knew that he was fond of you, but he wasn’t sure if it was just because of the way you cared for Chohee or if it was something else.
Jeonghan sighed heavily, his lips making the sound of a raspberry being blown before speaking. “It’s up to you what you want to do obviously… You’re a grown man, you’re a father, and I know that you’re going to do what’s best for Chohee, at least, you’ll do what you think is best for her, but I also don’t want to see you in another situation like you were in before. We lost you for a while, and it’s not even about the music or the group, it’s the fact that we don’t like seeing you like that. We’ve known you for a while, you’re a brother to all of us, we just want you to take care of yourself, do what’s best for you.” He knew how the others felt about Hajoon, he knew how much they worried about him after everything that happened, but something about you, the way you looked at him, the way you looked at his daughter, he knew that if anything were to really start between the two of you that it would be different, it would be better.
A bit more chatting and a quick goodbye and the call with Jeonghan was over. Now Seungcheol had to make a decision, make a choice that could affect himself and Chohee in either the best or the worst possible way. If anything went downhill, that could be the difference between you being so sweet and so kind to his daughter, it would be the difference between you looking after his daughter when he or one of the other members were running a little late. Was it a price that he was really willing to pay? His surety was running low, he didn’t feel so sure about anything right now, but he knew that he couldn’t afford to lose you. It wasn’t just himself that he was looking out for either, but Chohee and her feelings. He couldn’t just worry about himself anymore, he had to take care of his daughter, he had to make sure she was happy, and any change in your demeanor towards her, she would pick it up.
It would be so easy if it were just himself that he had to think about, but then again, in that case he would have never met you anyway. Chohee would always be his first priority, and her happiness came above all else in his life, which is why this decision was only becoming harder and harder to come to. If things went well, if everything went without a hitch, the final outcome could make Chohee so happy, something that he loved to see. His daughter's smile was priceless to him, there was no amount of money in the world that would amount to how proud he felt when he saw it and he could only imagine how wide her smile would be if things went smoothly. It was that pride that he wanted to feel, that swelling in his heart when she’d beam up at him, the need to make his daughter happy that had him making the final decision on what to do. Maybe it was crazy of him to go out on a limb like this when there was so much more at stake than just his heart and his daughters happiness, but not being crazy never got anyone anywhere… Hell, being crazy and stepping out on that limb is what had blessed him with Chohee in the first place… what’s the worst that could happen?
4 Years Later
“Are you glad that it’s summertime now?” Chohee asked as you both walked towards your car, the warm breeze that brought along the promise of vacation and a much needed break blew against you and Chohee as you walked through the parking lot. “I think dad has to work a lot though… He doesn’t get summer breaks like we do. Is that fair? I don’t know if it is… How is he going to spend time with me?” She was full of questions, full of excitement at what the next two and a half months would bring. Her long black hair bounced as she skipped along the pavement, the sound of her pencils rattling in her backpack mixed with the sound of her shoes hitting the ground. “Dad said that my mom wants to pick me up for a weekend real soon… Should I go?”
She came to a full stop, looking up at you with eyes that screamed her question at you. It wasn’t that you exactly hated her mother, but you had a lot of reasons to dislike her. Hajoon had practically abandoned Chohee when she was a baby and she had broken Seungcheols heart, you had no reason to actually like her, but it wasn’t your place to tell Chohee whether she should see her mother or not. “You do what you want to do, Cho… If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. If you do want to go, then I want you to do what makes you happy.” You said as sweetly as possible, but you couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry at the thought of Chohee actually going to spend a weekend with her mother.
“I haven’t seen her in a long time…” She mused, taking a slow step forward before picking up her normal pace and walking towards the car again. It seemed like she was thinking really hard about what to say, how to answer her own question. “Maybe I should ask dad when I get home… But he’d probably say the same thing you did.” She grumbled incoherently under her breath as she climbed into the backseat of your car, tossing her backpack to the side before buckling her seatbelt. “I’ll think about it a little bit longer.” She said, although it seemed like she was mainly talking to herself. She was deep in thought about it, and you wished that you could just answer the question for her, but it wasn’t your place to do that.
“You take all the time you need, Cho.” You murmured, climbing into the drivers side and starting up your car to start the drive home, occasionally glancing in the rearview mirror to see Chohees face contorted into one of questions, answers, confusion, and thoughts. It was like you could see the gears in her head turning as she tried to figure out what to do, and seeing her look so frazzled only added on to your list of reasons to dislike Hajoon even more than you already did.
With Chohees backpack slung over your shoulder, you stayed a couple steps behind her as she ran to the front door of the apartment, pushing it open and letting out an excited squeal as she ran into the house and out of your view. You could still hear her though, although her voice was meeting your ears as more of a muffled noise than actual words, once you turned the corner you could see that Seungcheol had wrapped her in a tight bear hug, the reason for her almost muted words. “Hey!” He called out to you as you finally walked in, shutting the door softly behind you. He waved to you, a soft smile on his face as he started walking over to you while Chohee stood on his feet. “Seems like Cho had a good last day of school, how was yours though?”
He was teasing you, the silly little smirk that he was trying to contain made itself evident on his face as he looked at you, but you could only sigh, shaking your head as you hung Chohees backpack on the hook on the wall and dropped down onto the couch in the living room. “It’s the same every year. Half the class is gone because the last day doesn’t matter, and the kids that did get sent are so overly excited that I can’t even get them to focus on the movie that I have playing in the front of the room.” There was something in your voice, something in the way you spoke that had Seungcheols eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked you over. “What?” You hadn’t even noticed it yourself what could possibly have him looking at you that way, but you watched as he squatted down and told Chohee to go play in her room before taking a seat on the couch beside you.
Both of you watched her run off towards her bedroom before his finger was slipping beneath your chin and turning your head so you’d face him. “What’s wrong?” He whispered, his thumb lightly brushing along your bottom lip as his eyes caught yours. It was hard to speak when he looked at you like that, it was hard to speak when he looked at you in general. He was perfect, and no matter how many times you had seen him, it seemed like the reaction you had to him would always be the same. You shrugged lightly, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You didn’t want to actually answer the question, you knew that the way that you were feeling right now wasn’t right, but it didn’t change the fact that you felt that way anyway. “Y/N…” He cooed your name, trying to pull the answer from you, but when you kept silent, he decided to try to figure it out himself. “I know it’s not because I’m going on tour this summer, you and Cho seem to love it when I’m gone. You always have all the fun…” You side eyed him, giving him a look that told him that he was wrong. That wasn’t the reason that you were upset right now, but you always missed him when he had to leave. “Is it because you’re going to miss your class?” You shook your head, and while he wasn’t particularly wrong, you always missed all of your students that you had to say goodbye to, it didn’t seem like he was getting any closer to the real reason.
Taking a deep breath, you fell over against his side and let the breath out through your nose. “Chohee brought up visiting Hajoon…” You finally admitted, hearing the soft hum of final understanding sound through his chest. “I know that I don’t have the right to be upset… That’s her mother, but… She said that you told her and you didn’t tell me….” You chewed on your bottom lip, a sudden feeling of almost betrayal forming in your stomach as if a match had just been lit. “And I know that you shouldn’t have to tell me because it’s not my business whether Hajoon gets her or not… But… I just want to know that Cho is okay…”
Seungcheols hand ran up and down your back in a motion to try to soothe you as you continued to speak, silent tears slipping over your lower lashes and trickling down your cheeks, tears that he had caught immediately and quickly wiped away with the thumb of his free hand. “I didn’t tell you because you had a lot on your plate at the time, but I was going to tell you.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss the top of your head before leaning back against the couch, pulling you closer to him. “And in regards to it being your business, it is your business. You’re more of a mother to her than Hajoon is, and whether you know it or not, Chohee thinks the same thing. She absolutely adores you, maybe more than I do, but I’m not willing to bet on that just yet.” His attempt at lightheartedness had you letting out a giggle. “I know that you worry about her, and I do too, trust me, I do… but I know that she’s going to be okay because we both know that Hajoon isn’t going to actually follow through with getting her. When was the last time she’s actually picked her up?” The question had you thinking really hard, trying to remember the last time you even saw Hajoon and Chohee in the same room together. The lack of your answer had Seungcheol nodding as if you had already answered his question. “See, you have nothing to worry about. Chohee is going to stay here with us all summer.”
As if on queue, Chohee ran out of her room, diving into the little bit of space that was between you and Seungcheol, nestling against you as she threw her legs up onto his lap. “I get to stay with you and mommy all summer?” She cheered, clearly having been eavesdropping on the entire conversation. “That means we can all go to the beach again like last year, right? I like building sandcastles… Oh! And this time, I’m gonna make mommy get all the way in the water. Remember when we had that big splash fight… that was fun… I like that.” Her little mind wandered into her memories, her stories had you and Seungcheol doing the same thing, letting out quiet chuckles as the images filled your minds. “Oh… Daddy?” She turned to him with wide eyes, her hands clasping together as if she were about to have an extremely serious conversation with him. He hummed softly to let her know he was listening as he drummed lightly on her knees, looking at her intently. “Did you give mommy the ring that I helped you pick out yet? You said that you’d do it during the summer, it’s summer time now. You said that when you give her the ring that it means the two of you stay together forever, I want mommy to stay here forever. Do you want me to get it out of your drawer for you?”
He let out an awkward laugh, his face turning bright red and his eyes just as wide as hers were, but now you were laughing hysterically all while your heart swelled with excitement and love for the man that sat beside you. “Gosh… Cho… That was a really big secret you just told…” He said sheepishly, running his hand through his hair before dropping it down onto his lap and looking at you. “Well I guess since you already said it, do you want to go get it for me so I can give it to her?” Chohee nodded her head, jumping off the couch and bounding across the room as fast as her legs could carry her. “It wasn’t supposed to go like this…” He murmured, watching as Chohee ran back into the living room with the black velvet box that she quickly handed to him.
You scooped her into your arms and pulled her onto your lap, the body still shaking from the laughter that was slowly subsiding. “You know, I think I like this proposal way better, surrounded by my two favorite people in the comfort of the apartment.” You said, letting out an audible gasp when Seungcheol opened the box and revealed the beautifully cut diamond ring, the light reflecting off the facets of the stone as he pulled it out of the box.
“Hmm… I had a whole speech prepared for this but I didn’t have the time to practice it…” He sounded shy now, his thumb and pointer finger shakily holding onto the ring as he grabbed your hand and held it between both of your bodies. “I guess I don’t need to give a whole speech though, I hope you know how much I love you, how much Chohee loves you. You’re a great mom to her, and you didn’t even have to be, but you love her like your own and it makes me so happy. You showed her what a real mom should be, what a real mom is, and you showed me that I don’t have to be afraid to love someone because of what happened in the past. You love me for who I am, not what I do… And I love you for everything that you are… So, will you marry me?”
